I am so sorry you are feeling angry and that circumstances are making your life miserable right now but remember to stay in the moment.
I am a great believer in staying in the moment which I learned in therapy. We make ourself miserable when we tend to spend a lot of time in the past or the future. We spend much time thinking about what was and what could have been. And we spend much time projecting into the future and wondering about what may happen.
This way of thinking is indeed a great way to make much of your life a lot more miserable and limited than necessary. The key to solving this problem is of course to live as much as you can in the only moment that you ever really live in and control. This moment right now. The moment that is all there ever was and - probably - will be.
Take care my friend,
I too am sorry for this behavior that is being aimed at you. Please share with us if you are comfortable.
Remember to keep the faith and not give up. You have made a wise decision and now it is up to your Lady Friend to decide what she wants. She must make up her own mind and gving her space is a good thing.
I know you are afraid and that is making you most likely feel depressed as the situation looks poor the more time that goes by but don't you give up.
Does she know how much you care about her?
I am glad you have friends that care about you and are coming around and remember you have us to support you too.
You are in my prayers and stay strong.
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” ~Marcus Aurelius
“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches on the same tree." ~W.B. Yeats