I am really concerned about
you, too. I can't help but wonder if you would have a better response, medically speaking, if you went into the Emerg dept at the hospital. Please do get some medical attention, particularly for the depression and suicidal thoughts. There IS help out there for you, and I hope you will consult with someone about
both the physical and the emotional pain.
A note about
the headaches: while I was married, I experienced debilitating migraines 2-3 times a week, which I now know was due to the intense stress in the relationship. Once I left my ex-husband and began counseling, the headaches lessened dramatically, and now I have them 2-3 times a year, at most. I hope you will explore the counseling as a method of dealing with the headache pain, and perhaps even eliminating it.
I wish you lots of love and healing. Please take very good care of yourself.
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” ~Marcus Aurelius