SINGLE MOM READY TO GIVE UP

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2lost
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/26/2009 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm a single mom with two daughters. My depression has become bad enough that I'm wondering if I should give my girls to my ex. I'm on meds but I don't seem to have the energy to give them consistent parenting. They both had excessive tardies at school this year. Homework was non-existent. No matter what I tried they wouldn't do it. They fight all the time, refuse to do anything, and I can't muster the strength to deal with them. I have started hiding in my room away from them. I can't reach out to anyone anymore, I'm hoping reaching out to strangers will help. I don't know what to do. I have no family here. And a very powerful ex. He has lot's of money so they would be well cared for. I just don't want to hurt them by my depression. I have AS, so when it flairs up doing the smallest thing like laundry is painful. I just need help.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 5/26/2009 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi 2lost,

I am sorry that you are struggling so. Is there any way that you could just give them to your ex for a while until you get rested up and are feeling better? Would he work with you? That way if you wanted them back you could get them back. I understand how you feel, wondering what would be in the best interest of the children.

I am glad that you posted here as everybody is so kind and compassionate. I am sure that you would get some good advice. Again I am sorry that you have so much on your plate right now.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/26/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi 2lost,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the Depression forum. You will find a host of welcoming, compassionate people here.

I hope you will take the first step and make an appointment with a psychiatrist, if you haven't already. Depression is a medical condition above all else and should be treated by a doctor.

If you can find the strength, let me recommend some therapy to help get you and your girls back on track. Your girls sound like they're suffering too. Whether you give them back to your ex or not (although it sounds like that's the last thing you want to do) you should consider some family therapy to help them work through what's bothering them and get them back on track with school and with you. Don't hide from your children. They NEED you -- even as wounded and broken as you are feeling right now, they still need you. Instead, try explaining honestly what's going on, and ask them for their patience as you try to get better, and then show them that you are indeed trying to get better.

I can appreciate being knocked even lower by the AS. You've got to let yourself have days when you're just sick and low and not feel so guilty about it.

Good luck to you,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 5/27/2009 4:00 AM (GMT -7)   
sending you love my dear, remember that you are a person of worth in this world, agree with the last posts, and the better you are the more energy you will have to your kids. healings and luv, jamie

Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 5/27/2009 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
2lost,
When my kids were teens and I was suffering badly from undiagnosed fibromyalgia pain and depression I finally just broke down in front of my teens and cried. I told them that just a few years ago I had been their age and wanted to do whatever I wanted. I explained the responsibilities I now had, how I felt that their behaviour reflected badly on my ability to parent, how I was feeling like a failure, how I needed their help in keeping our family going.... Guess what? They rose to the occasion and jumped in and helped.

At one point I told my daughter that her choices in school were going to change her life journey. I wasn't doing this to her. She was doing it to herself. I used examples of older teens who had dropped out and now were lost in drugs and pregnant... She got the message that it was her choices that were plotting the course of her life.

All of my kids are now responsible, productive adults. Yes, I laid a guilt trip on them.... It worked. My grandpa was a Great Lakes Captain and as he used to say, "Any port in a storm!"
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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