"Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much."
I haven't posted in a while. I saw a therapist this week (Oct. 5) and all my nervousness about seeing her were unfounded. She's great. I can't wait for my next session. I've done some journaling on my own and it's lead to some insights. Also, Thank Goodness, I think the depression has lifted. Which just really baffles me. One day I'm still totally depressed and crying and the next day it's lifted and I feel myself again. Does it turn on and off like this??? It's just bewildering. Maybe the lexapro took longer to work (I started it August 12)??? How can depression just hit you and then leave???? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that it's gone, but completely gobsmacked.
Maybe one of the things that helped is that I've decided that I want to go to nursing school. I have most of my prereq's done and already have a BS so I just need the two years of nursing school. Funding the schooling will be the tricky part. Anyone have any suggestions?? There's also a job that might come open here at work in January that would be something new and exciting, and it pays about the same as my current one. Since you apply for nursing school a year in advance and I need to figure out financing this could be a good job until I start school.
Sorry to ramble on but I really felt the need to post.
So nice to hear from you and so good to know you are feeling a lot better. I am also glad that you are looking forward to your next therapy session.
You mentioned how your depression comes and goes, well I was very similar to you, mine would come and go too. I still have my off days where I can feel very down, but I try to keep myself busy. I have even recently joined a gym and it is true what they say about excercise, it is helping me a lot i.e. in both body and mind.
You mention about funding for nursing school, well that is a tricky one. Here in England we are paid a bursary £550.00 a month to do the diploma in nursing, so it is easier to do the training here, although sometimes we would still find it hard and have to do some part time work as well. Do you not have anything like a bursary? Apart from working part time to help out, I can't really think of anything else and you don't really want to be taking out loans to fund it. Maybe someone else can come up with some ideas. You obviousely really want to do your nurse training, so don't give up something will turn up.
I really do hope everything turns out for you, keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.
Take care for now
Can't tell you how good it feels to have your reply's. I have some good friends but they don't seem to understand my depression. I've been putting on a happy face for them because I think they're tired of listening to me whine. I've even convinced my therapist that I'm doing better. I have a therapy session this afternoon and I think I need to come clean to her. I think I've done that all my life---try to please everyone by being the person that they want me to be. I don't want to come clean to my boyfriend because he's under a lot of pressure at his job and I don't want to stress him out.
I'm taking a CNA (certified nurses aide) class right now, but I can't figure out how to pay for nursing school for two years. I'm also taking an accounting class and I think that might be more doable then nursing because I can do it part-time. I have applied for another job but they won't be interviewing until the middle of March and won't be hiring until the first part of April (state job, so moves as slow as molasses). It's just surviving until I hear about this job. I really want it because it's in the same office I'm in right now and I like this office, it's just the job that's getting to me.
I'll ask my therapist about the effexor, serquel and zeldox. I'm so fustrated because I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do but I'm not getting any better. Yeah, I'm worried about myself. Feels like I'm screaming for help inside but can't get anyone to listen.