Anxiety re Boyfriend

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x-princess-x-elmo-x
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 6/1/2009 2:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Guys! Not been here in a while! Right... I had/have this new boyfriend of 6 weeks. But I am driving the relationship apart as I can't stop getting paranoid about him cheating on me... (Everyone of my previous relationships has cheated on my with their ex's, or my best friends! Thats 7 people!) I've never been in a relationship where I haven't been cheated on or messed around and becuase of this... I can't help but get so paraniod, and depressed, and make myself sick with worry to think that my new boyfriend is now going to be just the same!!! Even though ALL of his friends have said he's not like that, he has said it... and even I know it... He is different... I am the one and only girl that he has ever been serious about,I can't loose him! When my mum died, I thought my world was over... but with this guy, he has filled the hole in my heart that my mum left when she passed away 6 1/2 years ago... but because of my paranoia that empty space that he filled, is slowly starting to rip open again! I can't let this stupid paranoia and depression etc destroy my relationship with him! (whats left of it anyway!) I couldn't take it if I did loose him 100% for good! It would be like loosing mum all over again and I can't cope with that... even just the thought of it!!! I need to stop this paranoia for good! NOW! Before the hole it my heart gets ripped open anymore! Does anyone have any advise I could use to stop myself from driving him away! More than I already have so far! Thanks! Love Princess! x <3 x
 
Princess, I edited this duplicate post as per notation in the A & P Forum. We have members as young as 13 on the boards.  Sorry.
 

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/1/2009 7:40:39 AM (GMT-6)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18771
   Posted 6/1/2009 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
my dear, from another guy, me, whom loves his lady too, i feel from what you are saying that if you release even a little u will feel a little better. in terms of grief, no right or wrong way. i worry that the explode will also cause an implode. try to release the valve a little, what ever way feels right for you. from a guy, to you, he, your man sounds very loving and compassionate. loving healings, i think he will understand if you let him in. take care and be kind to yourself, am sorry for your loss. jamie, male, 37.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/1/2009 6:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Princess,

You have some responses to your post in A & P.  :-)

Kitt


x-princess-x-elmo-x
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 6/1/2009 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks... i totally understand what you say... and i just hope to god that it's not going to be too little too late! Thanks you! (hugs) Princess x <3 x
About Me: My mum died of cancer when I was 12, Don't get on with Dad and Sister, Held all my emotions, grief and feelings in for 6 years and now need to explode because I can't cope any longer!
 
The more you believe, the stonger your beliefs!
Live your life to the full, as you never know what is around the corner!
x-princess-x-elmo-x


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/2/2009 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Princess,

Sometimes I feel how you feel, paranoid about my relationship - however you shouldn't judge your boyfriend based on previous relationships, Everyone is different.  Judge him by what you know about him and how he has treated you. 

However also I don't think your relationship should be so sonsuming the way that yours sounds, I think you need to develop your own identity outside your relationship and be independant. 6 weeks is such a short time to be thinking things such as -" I couldn't take it if I did loose him 100% for good! It would be like loosing mum all over again and I can't cope with that... even just the thought of it!!! "  I think you need to learn to be yourself and love yourself more, i feel that your falling in love with someone that you hardly know!

but thats just my opinion I guess, not meaning to be harsh.

Li


Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18771
   Posted 6/3/2009 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
hey princess x, just saying hi, hoping you are feeling a tad better. jamie

x-princess-x-elmo-x
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 6/10/2009 3:03 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks guys! and Confusedli, I understand where you are coming from! We ain't together anymore... I pushed it too far and lost him but my aim in life now is to get it back on track, not for anoyone other than myself! I can't stand so many things about me (my body, the way I look, my lack of confidence, paranoia about people talking about me, even if they just give me a side glance in the street, just EVERYTHING!) But I think now I have relised (even though I have known it before mum died and ever since) that how can I be happy in a relationship/friendship, if i'm not happy with myself and who I am! Thats why I need to consantrat on me now! Get MY life on track for ME and ONLY ME! Okay, yeah, it's probably going to take me the rest of my life to be happy with myself but until then, there is no point with anything because if i'm not happy and confortable with myself and who I am, then how can I be confortable and happy with anything/anyone else! Thanks for your help everyone! Means so much! Be in touch and hope everyone is okay!!! LOVES! Thanks again!!! x x x x x x x x
About Me: My mum died of cancer when I was 12, Don't get on with Dad and Sister, Held all my emotions, grief and feelings in for 6 years and now need to explode because I can't cope any longer!
 
The more you believe, the stonger your beliefs!
Live your life to the full, as you never know what is around the corner!
x-princess-x-elmo-x


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18771
   Posted 6/10/2009 3:22 AM (GMT -7)   
true happiness does come from within, but happiness comes our environment and others too. you can be happy with a book, writing, poery with friends, with company, their are plenty of ways to skin a cat. animals are of great company and happiness too. you can find some peace via quiet contemplation too. when it comes to happiness, remember those things that use to bring you joy, and give them a go. hoping u feel better soon. luv, jamie.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/10/2009 6:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Princess

Glad to read your positive post and to know you are going to work on your own feelings first before you venture out into the world of romance  again.

I think you will do fine and you have my support.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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