how do you snap out of it?

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yellowhaze
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/2/2009 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
ive been diagnosed with clinical depression, put through cognitive therapy, pills, the works.

then they decided that i actually had an anxiety problem when that didnt work, they told me to get someone to talk to and good luck to me.
i saw a counselor who couldnt stay awake during our talks.
i gave up on all of that, was reassesed with an anxiety disorder with a mild case of OCD.
I was told basically to exercise. I was also put on hormone therapy.
ive been good since then, with little blips of unhappiness and anxiety attacks, it has been a year now. and recently ive started feeling just the same, my same paralyzing fear of death, my own and others. unwillingness to see people, or leave my house. feeling like im worthless and theres no point to doing anything, including living. i feel like a failure in my sports, relationships and job.
i am 18 by the way. I also have alienated most of my friends and rarely feel comfortable in any social situations, as if im always standing just outside of the circle when im with people.
I have a boyfriend, steady for almost two years now, and hes my only source of comfort, however ive been increasingly impatient and angry towards him, and have started arguing more and more and snapping at everybody.


i dont know how to snap out of this again, id exercise but i feel like i cant even do that, that i would just disapoint myself, and besides its just a temporary float solution

how do you just keep going? how do oyou get back on your feet?

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/2/2009 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Finding the right Dr. that actually listens helps alot.  I went through therapy too and felt that I might as well have been talking to the oak tree in my yard.  I went through lots of medications that were not right for me and had some pretty bad reactions.  So I flushed all the meds, found myself a new Dr., one I really clicked with, and started a new milder medication and am now alot better, still hanging in there with the support of the good people of this forum, waiting for the med to really kick in.  I was told for years that I was not depressed when it was quite obvious to me and everyone who knew me that I was.
 
Just hang on and remember that finding the right method of treatment takes time.  Don't give up because of past bad experiences.
 
 
Gem

yellowhaze
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/2/2009 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
its just that i have run out of places to go, ive gone through private counselors, hospitals, my own doctors etc etc..
i dont have money to pay for it, and my insurance goes through my dad, who has no idea that there is anything wrong with me, he was oblivious to everything prior

im tired of therapy, im tired of talking it out with people who dont really know how to deal with me.
i really dont want to take pills anymore either, i want a lasting solution, a way that i can get myself out of this.
i dont even understand what made me this way anyway, i have no reason to feel the way i do.

everything is just so dark.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/2/2009 10:17 AM (GMT -7)   
If I could flip a light switch and get you out of the dark I would do it in a minute.  I truly know that feeling.  I was not sad or unhappy when I got all the classic symptoms of major depression.  I had been going to a PDoc that thought I was bipolar, so he would not give me anti depressants because he said they would make me manic.  I never was manic, just super anxious from all the anxiety that I had been dealing with.  I had a horrible allergic reaction to risperdal, which I should never had been on to begin with and then my PDoc retired.  I hit such a low point I finally said enough is enough.  I found a new female Dr., Not a pysch., and she did a complete physical to make sure nothing was wrong in any other area, everything was fine. 
 
I have been there with no money and no insurance and the mental health department in my city is a joke.  That is how I got started with the PDoc, I kept calling Dr.'s office until I found one that would see me with no insurance and let me pay him at the end of the month.  I got some relief with Xanax but after that I felt like a guinee (?) pig as far as meds go.  Then when I got insurance, he would see me for 20 minutes once a month and bill my insurance co. his specialty fees.  It was not a good experience.
 
Keep trying to find some avenue of hope, someone who will listen to what you are going through physically and mentally, they are out there, really they are.  I believe that someone out there can help you feel better.  I never wanted to be on meds either and for a while I went the herbal route.  But when you have full blown major depression and high anxiety, there is nothing in the herbal store that is going to work like you need.
 
I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you can find a way to get some relief.  Just don't give up.
 
You can talk to me anytime.  The people here have helped me so much, I have alot of giving back to do. turn
 
Gem

Debbie Downer
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 6/2/2009 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I have that same paralyzing fear of death ((( I like how you put that))). I'm even super uncomfortable around old people. My anxiety has turned towards paranoia. I'm always scared that someone is out to get me. I could see myself self-barricaded in my home. I am so bad that I can barely grocery shop because I am afraid that I will pick the wrong package of chicken or the wrong box of cereal or can of soup and it will be poisoned or contaminated and it will hurt my children. I mostly worry about them. I have picked up and put back things so many times for another of the exact thing and just kept doing it. One time, I did this for 20 minutes. It was eye opening, but I couldn't stop myself. My heart was racing. I had to leave. I would have turned down a trip to Jamaica recently if my husband hadn't said that he would resent me for it forever. I was convinced the plane was going to crash. It didn't by the way. When I find myself feeling this way, I chant over and over again that I will not live my life in fear. It actually helps me to an extent. It is easy for the mind to take you dark places. Mine does often.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 6/3/2009 5:48 AM (GMT -7)   
hi yellow, just popping in to send u my support. hey, don't give up, we care, keep fighting. luv to you, jamie
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