Depressed again after a long time

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Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/4/2009 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I just moved into a converted garage (it's pretty and everything, but very small and not the privacy I used to have, and I'm very grateful to have had a place to go as I moved for financial reasons - no job for over a year even though I look every day).
 
Sorry for the mish-mash, I just never thought I'd start falling again (also quit smoking cigarettes - 9th day).  I find myself sleeping after I do the kitty chores and eat something every morning - sometimes for 4 hours at a time.
 
I used to be on here as "Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty", but now I'm hooked up to their wireless (for free - blessing) so I dropped my old ISP provider.
 
So tired, weak, sad about so many things including no jobs here, lost my favorite apartment with a humungous view for sunrises, moon-rises, all the hills and now
it's closed in (again, I'm very grateful to have a roof over my head and thank God for that every day).
 
I'm just tired and don't want to fall into the abyss like I did when I was suicidal.  I'm not there now, but trying to take affirmative action by nipping this in the bud
now instead of letting it go further.
 
I'll be napping for awhile after I eat, but will come back later if anyone has any suggestions. 
 
Missed you guys - I couldn't get hooked up for over a month to the wireless because the router was too far away, now it's close enough to get on line.
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/4/2009 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Napswithcats,

Try not to beat yourself up for the sleeping, it is something that we all go through. Depression seems to take so much out of us.

But maybe you could try to get in a short walk everyday. Even if it is just a little bit. I would also recommend seeing your doctor to rule out anything else that might be going on. Also you might want to consider counseling. That is so helpful.

I know how hard it is when we want to sleep all of the time, I still go through that. I recently did find a job and it takes a lot out of me. I find myself sleeping most of my days off work. But I try to give myself a break about that seeing I haven't worked in years.

I hope that you feel better, and I am glad that you had the oppertunity to come back to us. We are all here for you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/4/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Getting By.
 
A short walk is exactly what I need and know I need - I just feel so weak and tired.  Maybe after my nap I'll
have a cup of "Joe" (Coffee) and see if I can get out for a short walk.  It's a whole different neighborhood
and I so miss my old view and having separate rooms and especially the morning light shining in for my cats
and patio for myself.
 
Sorry I'm whiney - off to nap now (yes, with the cats, heh).

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/4/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't feel whiney, you aren't. We all go through this so we understand. I am sure that your energy level will go up. I hope that you feel better soon.

Have faith in yourself. After your nap, you will have that cup of JOE and have a wonderful walk. If you can't walk much in the beginning, accept that. Even five minutes helps. And remember however far you go, you have to come back, so dont' over do it.

Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/4/2009 1:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks muchly!

Just got up from nap, let's see where I can go from here!

Hugs,

Ju

Sad & Angry
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 211
   Posted 6/4/2009 2:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

I am coming after a LONg time. But I am glad to be here.

So sorry to hear about NapswithCats problem and job loss. Hope you are feeling much better after a walk. But I think I would take Karen' advise and see a Dr. just to make sure you are o.k.

Take care

Sad
 
 
Anxiety Panic  ??????
 
 
 
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/4/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Napswithcats,

Hello and it is good to see you back with us.  You have been through a lot and suffered some losses, that of your job and now your home. 

I think Karen has a good idea, get out and be with people.  I know that is not always easy to do and I have on occasion fallen into the "it is to hard to go anywhere" pit.

When you start to feel down and sleeping seems the only way out,  try changing your thoughts.

One way to change thought patterns is by limiting time spent thinking. Find a hobby or a distraction that you enjoy, preferably one that has a high degree of mental concentration. Painting and drawing are good examples. With both these activities, your mind is on the task at hand so you have very little time to picture or think about what causes you stress. The main point is to find something you enjoy that can be done for a long period of time.

Please know we are here for you and I am so glad you got connected again and for free.  That is a good thing.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/4/2009 3:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Kitt!

It's good to see your writing again!  Well, I just got back from the store, so I did get out.

I think that's the best I can do for today.  I just don't feel well - I'm thinking this depression

may have been triggered by the loss of my friends, the cigarettes (sounds crazy to any

non-smokers, I know), but I feel pretty lost without them.  At the same time, so very

grateful for my cats who connect with me.  No idea what I'd do without them right now.

Thanks for writing, Kitt and everyone!

Ju


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/5/2009 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ju,

(Did we email once upon a time? I think so!) I'm so sorry for the low period you're going through. You've experienced some significant losses, and it's bound to have an effect on you. Yes, I can relate to the feeling of missing cigarettes, too! They can be a crutch to lean on, especially when times are tough, and it's hard to go without them - but I applaud you for doing so, because that in itself is a huge accomplishment. I'm so glad you have your cats! I don't know where I would be without my pets.....they are a constant joy in my life.

Please try to get outside for even a few minutes as soon as you are up to it. I know it's hard. And I know you miss your other home. It's important to allow yourself to grieve your losses.....and it's also important to take care of yourself, which includes a little fresh air and sunshine. Take baby steps if you have to. I'm glad you're hooked up with us again, and I look forward to reading your posts on here. ((((hugs))))
 

 

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."  ~Marcel Proust

 

 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/5/2009 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Ju,

Hope the sun is shining down on your today.  :)

I am married to a smoker so I do understand how you feel as I have watched my hubby over the years try to quit and the one time he was not smoking he  was in a real funk. 

I am proud of you for getting out and going to the store.  Now try to set one small attainable goal for today.  Remember it is one step in front of the other.

You know you are in my prayers and I am here for you.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/5/2009 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your awesome responses.  Raniah, I am sure we've written before - I used to come here a lot when I was going through preparing for a trial for sexual abuse, etc. by my old Psychologist.  It's just that I was under the Anxiety/Panic section moreso than here.
 
It's 5:35 a.m. here and I already made my bed and fed/watered the cats - now I need to drink some coffee and do the kitty meds (I have some special needs cats.  I also think I woke up all the roosters on the block since I turned my light on - hope I didn't just make enemies in the new neighborhood!  lol 
 
Today I have an appointment to give platelets which I used to do for about 5-6 years every 2 weeks until I started volunteering for Animal Services which took up so much time.  I'm going back to platelets now for a break from all the heartbreak of working at a kill shelter.  (Some guilt there for sure).  I just have to find my favorite squeezie thing since it takes a couple hours.  I need my comfie squeezie for platelets - hee!
 
Volunteering something always creates a sense of productivity for me, so I think I'll be feeling much better today.  (I swear there are about 25 roosters cocka-doo-da-doo-a-ling)  Are country folk not supposed to turn on their lights until it gets light? 
 
Hey "Sad and Angry" - thanks for your post - I'm supposed to see my Psychiatrist next week, but may have to post-pone for a week because of $$, but I'll definitely be seeing her - I do once per month.  Also, I definitely need to walk, and know it would make me feel better.  I will start walking again really soon.  The move has created some pretty severe pain in my knees, hips and back, so I'm doing stretches for right now.  Scooping kitty litter twice a day (on my knees) is about all I can do.  I hope you're okay, too!  :o)
 

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/8/2009 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ju,

I'm glad you're taking time to do some volunteering....that's such a great thing for anyone, especially when you're feeling down. It's probably a good thing to take a breather from the animal shelter, too. It's really important work, but it's easy to get burned out, because of the emotional impact. I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself. I hope the joint pain eases up soon....those are my problem areas, too, and some mornings it's tough to get the ol' body moving. Stretching exercises are great - good for you. You sound positive and hopeful in your post, and I'm really glad. I hope you're still doing well. :-)


 

 

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."  ~Marcel Proust

 

 


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/8/2009 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Raniah!
 
Talked with my sis yesterday about this depression.  I'm pretty sure it's onset was from quitting smoking (13 days now, cold turkey). 
I'm just not going to let it get me back into that dark, dark place I was before.  I'm not sure how exactly the brain works except that
there's the hypothalmus and the amygdala (fight or flight part of the brain) and I was totally disconnected from the hypothalmus
part of my brain at the darkest time, just living in fear, anxiety, panic and depression without any connection to reason.  I will fight this
and stay connected and well.  (Affirmations, affirmations!)
 
I know it sounds odd, but may start smoking again - I'm weighing the pros and cons, it's not an instant decision.
 
Definitely need to start walking again, though, as you and others(?) suggested, even if down to the end of the block and back
(which is about as far as I can hopefully go).
 
Thank you for all of your help and for listening! I appreciate it and all of you tremendously.
 
Julie O'

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/8/2009 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Hi Julie,
 
Quitting smoking is really tough, for sure....I've done it enough times to know.  smilewinkgrin    Seriously, you should feel really proud of yourself for doing that....it's one of the toughest things to overcome as far as addictions go, IMO.  I get the 'back and forth' about it....and I won't lie to you, I've fallen off the wagon many times.  It's hard to give up the relaxing feeling it brings, especially in times of stress.  However, I do feel better and have more energy when I don't smoke, so that keeps me motivated.  That's my $0.02 anyhow, but whatever you decide to do, I just want you to be well and happy.  :-)  I think walking is great, and I know it really lifts my spirits.  It's not just the exercise, which is good in itself, but also being outside with the fresh air and sunshine.  It's good for the soul.  Hang in there, and know that we care about you!  (((hugs)))
 

 

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."  ~Marcel Proust

 

 


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/8/2009 6:26 AM (GMT -7)   
{{{sniff}}}  Thanks Raniah!
 
The times I've quit, I've quit for 2 years and 3 years or more, just starting again out of stupidity (or this last time
because of severe stress.   I can't cheat with even one - too severely addicted to cigarrettes and would just
start smoking (either that, or I have one of those "all or none" states of mind, I don't know).
 
I just can't afford them anymore - that's my reason for quitting this time.
 
I'm hopeful I can "Just Do It" (as Nike would say).  I swear, that saying has gotten me off my butt more
times than I can say when otherwise I would have opted to just . . . sit.
 
After I'm done with this last, loooong pet-sitting job today, I'm hoping to get some energy back.  She has foster
kittens this time, so there's a lot of feedings along with the rest of my "duties".
 
Hope your day is a grand one, Raniah! 
 
Julie O'

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/8/2009 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Julie O'
 
And it is a cold and rainy morning here in MN. I hope the sun is shining down on you.  Pet sitting, that is awesome.
 
You have a very rewarding job.  :)
 
I saw the price of smokes one day at the store and my mouth fell open.  I know it is really tough to quit and also that having just one or two does not cut it as you just want more.  It is like alcholol, you cannot have just a beer.  It is smoke or not smoke so I do hope you can do as you say so eloquently,  Just Do It !.  I think perhaps Nike stole that phrase from so many of us with depression............we Just Do It !
 
I understand becoming smoke-free is a long and difficult process. Remember nicotine and tobacco are very addictive substances that can take months or even years to truly get out of your  system.
 
I believe in you and I know that you can do this so please do count me in as one of your strong support friends in your stopping smoking endeavor.
 
Many hugs and lots of support to you Julie.
 
I wish you peace and happiness,
 
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/8/2009 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow Kitt,
 
Thank you so, so much for the massive support on non-smoking!  It helps a lot more than you know!
Not much support from the family - mainly because of the depression attached to the quitting smoking.
What's odd is that I'd been having more problems with anxiety and panic before I quit smoking, now
that's all gone and I'm just depressed and become very frustrated very easily.  Weird!
 
I'm also 49 and weird things are happening with my body, so . . . life is just so peachy!  lol
"So harrrrd to be a womannnnn . . ."  When I was on as Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty I brought up
my incontinence problem - it's gotten much worse - I'm an old, crickity woman (with cats-lol)
in a mid-age woman's body.
 
ANyways, I've got to shower and go to my last day of pet-sitting for this other person.  Where I live
it's live-in pet-sitting, so when they go out, I take care of their pets.  And awesomely, if they are gone
for more than 7 days (like they will be this month on vacation), I get free rent for that month.  They
actually did this garage conversion just for this purpose, to help me out and have a live-in pet-sitter.
 
I'm rambling again ('cause I don't want to take a shower).
 
Thanks so much again, Kitt, for your support with the non-smoking.  I'm taking it one minute at a
time.  Since I used to smoke very expensive ciggies and I can only get them at this one place which
is a drive, it's kind of a blessing to be so far away from that smoke shop.
 
Ack!  Still rambling!
 
SO comforting to be back here.  Love you guys!
 
Julie O'

asking
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 6/8/2009 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
My cat didnt appreciate our recent move, so now he hides under the bed alot of the time.... but he is a big, cuddly sweet cat that always makes me feel better, when of course he is in the mood.... such a garfield.

Your living situation sounds cool...

take care... hang in there with the cigs, I am a former smoker too, quit 15 years ago....dont worry, it only gets easier.

Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/8/2009 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there, Justagirl,
 
Hang in there, this is day 12 for me.  I have quit before (only for very long periods of time and without cheating at all) and I know this depression and boredome and anger, etc., will pass. 
 
We'll be feeling much, much better soon!!  We just have to hang in there and go through all this yuck-yuck, then, after awhile . . .
 
we'll be feelin' fine as a well-aged wine yeah
 
Yours in quitting smoking,
 
Julie O'
 
:o)  (My kitties don't hate my breath anymore!!  :-D

Naps With Cats
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 6/8/2009 9:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh hey Asking,

I just saw your post!  Awwwwwwwww kitty cats are the biggest healers of all.  I pet-sat for my last day at a place where, along with her bengels (including an illegal F1 Bengel - once removed from the Servel), she is fostering 3 kittens that are about 11 oz now.  I just love feeding them, they hold your hand while just attacking that bottle - so very cute.  I hadn't fostered in awhile, so it was nice being with the litttle-ittle ones again!  (The F1 is protecting them, so getting them away from her to feed each one was a challenge in itself!  Growling, spitting.  I'm, like, "Whatever Satchi, I'm feeding the kittens so get over it."

Hee.

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