Thanks all of you for your replies. Jeannie, I know he dodged a huge bullet and this is the best thing for him. And Akram and NW thank you for your answers. It is hard when you not only have spent 4 yrs with someone but actually given them an engagement ring, set a date and started to make plans for a wedding. I think he is lucky to be away from her. She kept telling him how much she loved him and had never loved anyone else so much. So why not try to change and act like a civilized person and settle down and have a normal life. I guess it wasn't possible for her. And i'll bet she tires of this job, decides she doesn't like Washington and move somewhere else. She is a self sabotageur and I can't see how anything is ever going to make her happy. She is just going to lead a nomadic lifestyle. And maybe she will find some man who wants to do the same. Although I think most men are concerned about their jobs and being able to support themselves and a family. So I agree with you all that he is very lucky to have broken this off completely as now he is free to truly heal and build his life again. I know that he will find just the right girl for him Aren't girls always looking for the steady, kind,trustworthy and reliable man? I will heal eventually. I think I am taking on a lot of his pain so I need to work that out with my therapist.
No matter how old they are we are always our children's Mother and we feel their pain. I think you have done well in supporting your son. I am glad that you are close to him and that you are able to be there for him. He needs support and it does sound like he made a wise choice in cutting all ties.
This young woman cannot have her cake and eat it too. It sounds like she wants to stay friends just in case her plan does not work out and she could come running back to your son................so yes he is right in walking away. Good for him. I know that was not easy for him...............letting go of a dream is never an easy thing and four years was a long relationship.
My oldest son in Oregon is going through a tough time with his wife and they have 3 young children. She wants to be free to do whatever she wants and has run up huge debts. My heart hurts for him as his first wife cheated on him and left him taking his oldest daughter with her. I do understand how hard it is to see your adult son suffer.
My prayers are with you and please know I care.
My prayers will be with your son and his situation there in Oregon. Hope things work out for him.
Post Edited (gentleman k) : 6/6/2009 8:17:00 PM (GMT-6)
Kitt, I am so sorry to hear of the troubles your son is having. I don't understand what it is with some women these days. If you have children you have responsiblities. You can't just do whatever and whenever, willy nilly. I hope your son has cancelled any credit cards so she can't do anymore damage. You have had more than your share of problems and you handle things in such a gracious and determined way and I very much admire you for your strength. God is truly on your side. I am feeling much better now that my son has completely ended his relationship. I think we are all just feeling relief. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you enjoyed your grandaughter's graduation.
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." ~Marcel Proust
Did you know we are the same age...........??? That puts us in the generation that believed in forever and ever, Amen.
I am glad you are feeling better and I so understand how you feel about your sons. Your love and caring for your family shines through in your posts..............you put them before all else and I admire that. I do want you to take good care of you too. You are a worthy and deserving person who needs nuturing and love in order to keep on growing so be sure to collect your share of support.
As for me I am doing better. I know my DIL has run up credit cards she took out in my son's name and also she took out a loan online in his name and used me for reference...................I let her know that was not appropriate to do. I fear she has emotional problems and think perhaps she has more then A.D.D.
My son is taking care of the children, the house and working. I can only pray and be here for him to support from a long distance.
Grandaughter's graduation was awesome and her dance recital last night was special too. Her graduation party is Saturday so it is another busy week.
I wish you peace and happiness and most of all I wish you love.
May the sun shine on you all week.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 6/8/2009 3:44:43 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 6/8/2009 4:48:10 PM (GMT-6)
Thank you for your replies. Yes, I will admit I have feelings of anger and disappointment. To hear that you might not be considered a good grandparent is really a slap in the face. Taking kids hiking is not the be all and end all. There are museums and parks and theater and fairs, all kinds of activities that are fun for kids. Besides by the time (if they had married) and had children I would be in my 70s and maybe not able to hike. But none of this is relavant to the situation. My son, although still hurting badly will come through this and find a wonderful partner. And I am doing my best to support and listen to him and encourage him to be involved with other activities and friends. I will resolve my issues with my therapist who has always helped me and helped me heal from hurts suffered. I know this will not happen overnight but I know that I will move on and I pray for the day my son meets the girls of his dreams.