dutchone, sorry about
what you are going through. from what your saying I understand that you feel loonly and you don't feel happiness and need someone to provide you with that, someone special to fill your life with joy, that is a common feeling when you depressed, it's an illusion that by just falling in love with someone that you won't feel depressed and just feel joyfull. but actually it is not true and you need to find a way to feel happy about
yourself and love yourself, otherwise if you go into a relationship like that it may end up badly. I know it is very hard to work on being happy and content when your depressed and feeling misrable and loonly, but it is a fight you have to take head on and giving up is not an option. rememebr life is a continues battle and you will always have good times and bad times. when your in the good times try to stay in the moment and enjoy them when you can, and when your in bad times keep your hopes up and try to remember the good things in life like the good times and your friends or people who are close to you.
To fight off depression it its good to have weapons, things you can do to fight this off. there is many weapons out there and my favourites are talknig and ranting, letting this out to someone who understands. remember you can't do with anyone, it has to be someone who is understanding and kind and will support you when you need them, letting it out to the wrong person will bring bad results. also aside from just talking you can try and keep yourself buesy and maybe either read or do some excersize, something that could keep your mind buesy with something or your body buesy. exersize is proven to increase self-esteam and will also make your relax ( once your done and have a hot shower ), if you don't like running you can just walk. if your boared with walking you can try dancing, like join a dance class, or even try aerobics.
dutchone, I hope you can discover ways to fight the depression, something that works for you, we are different, what works for me does not nessearly work for you , you need to discover what may work for you. but in general about
the therapy I think therapy is good but it doesn't always work for everyone, it's just one weapon in an aresnal, and you need to try different things and see whatever does work for you. for me talking or writing down my feelings seems to help the most. I like to discuss what I feel with someone or even more than one person, get different views. if something is troubleing my mind and I can't find a solution I try and seek help from whoever can provide that help, wheather be it a doctor, a therapist a friend or even a relative. excersize used to help me but I don't know lately I have not found the will do it, and since I was able to find other weapons I can use I am content for now. still I cannot denie that for sometime exersize helped me a lot in the past, it's proven that is does work for many people.
good luck dutchone, may you see better days in the future, and learn how to deal with your depression, take care!
Former Addict of Online Video Games ( MMORPGs ) , Sober since April 6th 2008
Diagnosed with Major Depression since 2002