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WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/13/2009 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I was chatting in the Depression room, and I am very disappointed.
 
I would like to caution you all not to make light of anyone else's problems.  That's really hurtful. 
It's very disrespectful to tell someone they are a "baby" for their reactions to certain situations. 
Even if you could deal with it no problem, how can you tell what someone you don't know can or can't handle. 
Especially, don't do this after you have encouraged someone to share their problems with you.
 
Just take a moment to think about these things.   How would you feel if someone acted like that towards you?  The point of this forum is to be supportive, not to disencourage someone. 
 
If you're going to say something negative to someone on this forum or chat,  please at least try to phrase it in a way that is not insulting or demeaning.
 
I'm purposely not bringing names into this, as this post is not designed to get back at anyone, rather to make you all think about what you say before you say it.  This is not the first time I have had someone be rude to me on this chat ... but it is by far the worst.
 
I'm getting off my soapbox now ... but I hope you have been given some things to think about.  

FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 6/13/2009 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
WCC,
 
Please email me about this.  My email is in my profile.
 
Thanks.
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


harleysmith
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
i would like to defend myself and say that I didn't mean "YOU" were a baby I meant to say that one is a baby if they get depressed over a husband leaving on a business trip for two weeks. I feel like that is a regular and normal occurence and nothing one should get upset about, and actually was trying to make you feel better over the fact that you don't have any severe problems to be depressed over if that is the case. Now, you mentioned your situation was a little different so then I said clearly that I now understand why you would be upset.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Harleysmith,

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. I see that this is your first post. I am glad that you are clearing things up for WCC. I hope that there is no more comments that seem to be insensitive. We are all here to support eachother.

And if you see anybody else being rude on the chat room, please notify somebody that is a mod or the administrator. Nobody should be flamed or treated badly.

Please keep posting, we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I purposefully left names out of this post ...
I would just like to encourage EVERYONE who uses this forum to think about what they say.
One might think they're being encouraging, but if it comes off like they are making light of someone else's problems ... that's the wrong answer.
Maybe one person's problems don't seem like something someone else would consider depression-worthy ... however, if that one person is depressed about their problems, it's wrong to tell them they shouldn't be depressed.
The only reason anyone should tell another person they shouldn't be depressed over a situation is if they are a medical professional treating that person, or perhaps if they are a close friend or family member who knows that person well.
Someone who has only spoken to someone thorugh a forum for a few minutes has no business telling that person that he or she has no serious problems.
While it may be true that our situations could be worse, that fact does not negate what we feel about our problems and how they affect us.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
You are so right, we all have problems and they effect us in ways that others don't understand. Stick with us, you will get good advice here.

If you want to share your situation more, you are welcome to. There is always somebody near by to listen and try to understand. We can at least try to give you some incouragement.

Take care.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
WCC,
We have been having problems with banned members (repeated rule violators, who have abused other members) coming back to chat, just so they can abuse more people. That we need to stop, hence why I ask you to email me (MMMNAVY@healingwell.com), any other forum moderator, or admin the problem members name. It would also help if you could tell us what day and time it occured and what time zone you are in.
Thanks,
Navy
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Navy ... I remember seeing you around quite a bit :)

I'm a patient person, too patient according to my hubby, and so I usually give people at least 3 chances to correct their behaviour.
I'm totally sorry if this post causes a flame war, but I left names out of it to try to avoid that. The conversation was just so completely opposite from what I had previously experienced on the chats here. I didn't want anyone to get in trouble because I figured they might have just phrased things wrongly without any actual malicious intent ... so I decided to post a gentle reminder to everyone that we ALL need to be a little careful how we phrase things especially when communicating with text only. :)

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 6/13/2009 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
:)

The problem is we have chatters who never post or read the forum. Plus like I said there are some who just are there because they enjoy abusing people. That is not right and we need to stop that right way.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


harleysmith
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/13/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
i was never there to abuse anyone. I think that WCC misunderstood how I was trying to communicate with her. And when I had to leave, it was that I actually had to leave- I wasn't trying to upset wcc. I had no idea WCC would get this upset over the situation! anyway I am sorrry!

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/13/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
lol ... well I mean a lot of people might think that "I'm depressed because I miss my man." is pretty pathetic. I get lots of practice holding my tongue around my bosses and co-workers LOL. It's very important not to make assumptions about someone else's situation and to really control your phrasing when talking in a text-based medium where people can't hear your tone of voice and pick up all the non-verbal cues that are present in face-to-face communication.

harleysmith
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/13/2009 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
WCC- point taken. I am not going on the chat anymore, and even if I wanted to I'm probably banned at this point because of this thread. Hope you feel better.

harleysmith
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/13/2009 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   
your husband will be back before you know it and your reunion will make you forget all the sadness you felt.

WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/13/2009 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Remember, I carefully avoided naming names with the purpose of not getting anyone in trouble. I'm sorry if you feel attacked or persecuted.

Yes ... but until we are together again, I still have to deal with my problems alone.

farewellstand
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 6/13/2009 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
WCC and Harleysmith,
First to WCC and to all here. Often times with depression what seem like NORMAL occurrences or situations to some can be hurtful and sadness causing to others. Please do not judge. You do not know what it is like to be in anyone's shoes but your own. To harleysmith: please keep that in mind.
all the best
FS
" a love that moves the sun in heaven and all the stars; this is just a fraction of what is rightfully ours"
Male 32 Depression, Anxiety, Celexa, Klonapin


WhiteChocChip
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 439
   Posted 6/14/2009 12:01 AM (GMT -7)   
yep, that's exactly the point I was trying to make :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/14/2009 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning All,

I have been off line for 3 whole days and I am so sorry I am just getting to this post now.

I think that a good point has been made, questions have been asked and answered. 

Let us move on with the wonderful support and caring that makes this such a great forum.

My email is always open so if anyone has any issues they want to discuss privately they may email myself or another Moderator and we are more then willing to listen.

Navy is great about moderating in the chat rooms.  Please do remember that just because the chat room is named Depression it is still open to anyone that wants to chat so anyone can pop in.

The forums may be a bit safer if your chat room shy. :)

I will admit that I am not a big chat person. I will pop into the chat room to meet some of you  from now on.

Thanks and warm hugs to all.

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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