Been on meds 6 weeks today and feel as bad as I did when I started

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Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
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   Posted 6/15/2009 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Everybody - Gem here,
 
I have had a pretty good last couple of weeks but today I feel as bad as I did 6 weeks ago when I went to the Dr.  I feel like crying for no good reason, my whole body aches and I just feel like depression is starting back in.  This week-end I was so hyper and got so much done and felt well, but today is a different story.  I am beginning to wonder if I am bipolar because I know anti-depressants can do this to you.  I feel like a yo-yo.  I saw my Dr. on Thursday of last week and she thought I was doing well and does not want to increase my med for another month, I am on 10 mg of Celexa and .5 Xanax three times a day.  I have been walking, doing yoga, eating well, etc but I feel awful today and I can not cut my mind off, ever!  It is so bad when I wake up in the morning I can hardly stand it and now the last couple of nights it has been so racing that I have been having trouble sleeping again.  My Psych Dr. would never put me on anti-depressants because he thought I was bipolar and that was not what I needed, but I could never tolerate any of the meds he put me on and the last one, risperdal, I had a terrible allergic reaction to this med.  New Dr., regular MD, does not think I am bipolar and started me on Celexa which I have tolerated pretty well but today I just don't know.
 
Help.....I am hurting inside shakehead
Gem

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 6/15/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I use to take risperdol and switched to abilify. It calmed my mind right down. Mine raced too, as you said yours does. So that might be something to consider. Talk to your doctor about that. If it really gets bad, call the office and discuss with the nurse or receptionist. There are ways to get relief.

You could just be having a bad day. Everybody has them, even people without depression. But I would say something if this continues.

Have you ever tried meditation. It works wonders. And try to focus on the task at hand at the time and nothing else. Being aware really helps you think clearer.

I hope that you feel better. The abilify works wonders for me, and, it could be something that you might want to consider. Keep trying, you really are doing well. Even with a bad day here and there once in a while.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/15/2009 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen,
 
You are probably right but I woke up this morning to tense you have took me surfing and used me for the board!  Last week had two wonderful days in a row and I thought yeah I made it this is it, but it did not last and today I just felt like I was losing ground.  I guess I will see what tomorrow brings.  But I will call my Dr. back if my mind keeps racing out of control.  The only time in 3 years that it has stopped was when I was on Serquel (sp) but I had to stop taking it because I gained alot of weight fast and was craving sugar and I have a history of diabetes in my family. 
 
Thanks, will hang on until tomorrow.
 
Gem sad

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 6/15/2009 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gem,

That is the reason that I quit the risperdol. I gained a lot of weight. Abilify isn't as bad. I have obsessive thinking. I get something on my mind and I can't get rid of it. Now it is easier to distract me from that type of thinking.

My sister takes seroquil and it works well for her. Is there anything else similar that you could take? If not, ask about abilify. It is expensive though. I have insurance so I only pay a co-pay, but it is still expensive, I take a lot of different meds and it adds up.

Try to take things one thing at a time. One day at a time. We can work on these things and often take charge of our thinking somewhat. It isn't always easy, just try to slow down your thinking and focus on what you are doing. For instance, if you are watching tv. Think about that. Or if you are writing an email. Think, "I am writing an email". Say it out loud. Eventually your mind wont wander. I can be writing one thing and thinking of another. It is hard for me especially now, because I have a job now and I know that I am slow compared to the other people and I think about how I could maybe do better. But that is just a waste of energy. Especially since it is my day off. So I do my best to focus on what I am doing at the time. Evenutally the other will come to me. I think I just need repetition to get this mastered.

So it can be done, medication helps and so does mindfulness. And walking is a wonderful form of therapy.

Keep on trying and keep posting, we are all here for you. You will be able to do this, it just takes time.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/15/2009 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gem,

I'm sorry you're having a rough time! It's good that you came here to talk, and I hope the suggestions here will help you.

I like Karen's ideas about being mindful, taking one moment at a time/one day at a time, and meditation. I also had some success with hypnosis as far as the repeated negative thoughts and feelings.....I learned how to take my mind to a safe, peaceful place without having those awful thoughts and feelings intruding on my comfort levels.

I also like Jesse's comments about the supplements, and I agree that you should talk to your doc and see what the opinions might be, if you're interested in that route. I started using St. John's Wort again recently, and it has helped me a lot......and it did a few years ago, too, when I was in another period of really tough depression.

Please remember that we care about you, and know that you're in my prayers!
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:42 AM (GMT -7)   
hey gem, mindfulness practice is very helpful, works by single focus techniques. highly recommend it. sorry that abilfiy is exp. seroquel, well i would talk to your doc about this as it is an anti-psychotic, yeah becoming more prolfic in treatments of affective disorders. primary for the treatmemt of schizophrenia. yes i am down as being someone diagnosed with this so i can get this drug, yeah have had episodic dx of schizophrenia and other affective disorders in the past. works well, but not for depression dx. all the best, jamie. hey keep fightin, here for ya.

Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   

I am a little better today.  Thanks Everyone and yes I have been the herbal/natural route which is in my opinion the best because of all the problems I have had from pharmaceuticals but sometimes you get to a point and they are not strong enough.  Anyone taking 5-htp please be careful, ladies it can make you start lactating and is also very hard on the tummy.  I have tried all natural forms of treatment, I refused meds for a long time.  Hopefully when I do get to feeling better, I can ween off the strong stuff and maintain on the natural stuff.

Good day to all....

Gem


Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/17/2009 5:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Zapped,

Thanks for your post and I think you are right, I do not want to accept the BP diagnosis.  I started going to a PDoc about two years ago.  I tried Lamictal, Seroquel, Depakoe, Thorizine, Lithium and others I do not even remember.  I always had a bad reaction to the med or the side effects were intolerable.  The last med my Dr. put me on was Risperdal, I was doing OK with it but had a rare allergic reaction to it, two weeks after PDoc. retired.  I tappered off the med and I did ok with just Xanax for a while but then the bottom feel out.  It was going to take so long to get in with another PDoc that I finally just went to an MD because I just could not hang on any longer.  New Dr. knows the meds I had been on but felt like maybe they were too strong for me since I seem to be pharmceutically challenged and put me on a low dose of Celexa because when I saw her I was very depressed and anxiety out the roof.  I did tell her that previous Dr. thought AD's were a bad idea for me because I always leaned toward mania and not depression, that I needed a mood stabilizer.  She thought a low dose of AD might help, 10 mg Celexa, and it has except the last few days I have been manic as all get out.  Your post made me realize that I really do need to go back to a PDoc and I am going to make an appointment today as I know I have to hang until I can get in.

The part about Jesse was a post I was responding too about trying natural rememdies, St. Johns Wort, 5-HTP etc, maybe I put in under the wrong topic, sorry for the confusion.  And yes, I really have no one to talk to so I do tend to go on a bit in my post.  I love to write and I need to vent.

I appreciate your honesty, it opened my eyes this morning and you are right, I am unwilling to accept but I guess I will never feel truly better until I do.

Thank you, please write me back cry

Gem, BP Gemini that is


Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/17/2009 6:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Yesterday I was so manic I could not stop, did not sleep last night.  I am so confused I do not know where I belong.  I am getting ready to make an appointment with a PDoc., I think, I don't know what to think.  My mind is racing at the speed of light 24/7.  I am totally lost today, so bad I may go to the emergency room after work.

 

Gem sad


Raniah
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/17/2009 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gem,

I'm so sorry! I know how hard you've been trying these past weeks. I hope you do get some medical help with this, because you don't deserve to suffer this way. I wish I had some words of wisdom right now. Just know that I care about you and support you in your efforts to get better. Please let us know how it's going, and whether or not you were able to get some help. ((((hugs))))
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 6/17/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Gem,
I am so sorry to read you are struggling so much. Please let us know how you are doing. If you're not feeling better, I think it sounds like a really good idea to get to the ER right away. Regardless of whether it is an on-going problem or a reaction to the medication, it sounds like you desperately need medical attention. If your psych has an after-hours number, perhaps you could try calling him on that number. Otherwise, call 911.

Take care & let us know how things turn out.

hugs,
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 6/18/2009 4:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Raniah,
 
Thanks, you are so sweet!  After I ate lunch yesterday I felt like a different person.  Go figure!  I also called my Dr. yesterday and she told me to change the time of day that I was taking my med, that perhaps since I am over the initial side effect stage that taking it at night was affecting my sleep.  So I did not take it last night, took it after breakfast this morning and I feel fine.  Could it be that simple?  Or have the past few days, since I have been on med less than 8 weeks, just been my body adjusting to the med?  This has been a weirde ride but with each day I do have hope that stability and peace are just around the corner for me.  I got a post yesterday from "zapped" who suggested that I might be Bipolar, well maybe I am, I was always more manic than depressive until I started getting bounced around on meds.  I really am not concerned with pinpointing a diagnosis as I am just getting the proper treatment.  My real problem is PTSD, 8 years ago I was brutally assaulted by someone who broke into my home while I was there alone.  Counseling has helped with that, and as bad as it was there have been alot of good things in my life since then.  i survived this attack for a reason, God has spared me for a reason and that is what I believe, I just need to get my body and mind on the same track and I will be OK.
 
Thanks, you are such a blessing to talk to. tongue
 
Gem, smiling Gem today!
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