to love or not to love?

what do i do?
0
keep doing what im doing - 0.0%
0
deal with it because i love him so much - 0.0%
0
come right out and tell everyone whats going on - 0.0%
1
break up - 100.0%
0
talk to him about it and see what he says - 0.0%
0
ignore my parents - 0.0%

 
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cedabug
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   

~i really need someone to talk to.i am in love and yet i hate this controlling relationship.it's not my partner that is controlling though.it's my overprotective parents.we've been together for a year and 7 of those months i wasn't even supposed to be seeing him because of my parents' "orders".i love him so much and i would never leave him just becasue my parents say so, but it is really hard for our relationship to stay strong because we can't see or talk to each other as much as we'd like.what do i do?

-cedabug


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cedabug15,

Welcome to the forum. I'm not sure of your age, or whether you are still living with your parents, but I can see that this has been really tough on you. I'm sorry for your pain. Can you give some more details about your situation so that we can help? For instance, are you in school right now, and if so, are you able to see your boyfriend outside of school despite your parents' objections? Also, is there something specific that your parents don't like about your relationship with your boyfriend? We're here for you.....so please feel comfortable to post some more and let us know how we can help.
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cedabug,

It sounds like your boyfriend is really committed to you and your relationship. I can tell that the two of you really care for each other, and that you still want to be with him regardless of what your parents say. From what you've said, I am assuming that he treats you really well, and as long as you have a healthy relationship and he is being good to, I don't see a problem with it. I hesitate to tell you to go against your parents' wishes, because it could make life at home really tough for you. You said that your parents don't let you go anywhere or do anything.....and I wonder, is there anywhere at all that they would let you go during the summer break, like the library, or a community center, or a local swimming pool or health club or something? Do you think there is any sort of organized event or activity for youth....maybe at the YMCA or something.....where you and your boyfriend could join and participate together? What are your summer plans so far?
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


cedabug
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
He is very committed to us and yes he does treat me very well.we've been through too much for us not to care for each other as much as we do.well,there is a local swimming pool that my little brothers and i got to every summer but my parents have already started to target out that place.they are talking about not letting me go this summer because they don't want him to find out i'll be there from other people.plus sometimes my parents go with us there and it would be a disaster if they ran into each other.they would never believe that it was a coincidence that the two of us were there on the same day.there is really nowhere i can go without my parents issueing me a chaperone or having my older brother tag along to make sure i'm not seeing him anywhere.i truly don't understand why they distrust me so much.i haven't given them any reasons not to trust me.this is really hard for me.as far as this summer is concerned, i don't feel like i'm going to be able to see him.
 
-cedabug

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/16/2009 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cedabug,

I'm really sorry it's so tough for you. I don't understand why your parents feel so strongly about this. Have they given you a restriction on dating in general, or is it just for this one guy? Do you think they would feel differently if you saw him with other people around, like if you went out with a group of friends or something?
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


cedabug
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/16/2009 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't understand why they feel so strongly about it either.they only restricted me from dating him.but they haven't been too accepting of anyone else i have recently showed interest in or at least who they thought i was showing interest in.they don't want me seeing him at all.not even in a group of friends either.speaking of that, that's another thing that troubles me.we have the same circle of friends so when i'm talking to them or around them having a good time, if they even mention his name i get kind of down and ruin the moment of happiness within the group.i try not to show any pain, but it's extremely hard not to. and i find it kind of inconsiderate of them to talk about him in front of me too.they all know the situation.well we are not together as far as they know.that's the thing no one knows that we are together still.they just think we broke up 7 months ago.even still, i show everyone i still have interest in him.and since i can't really express myself and our relationship in front of people, girls think that he is single and a lot of them try to pursue him.i trust him... but i definitely DO NOT trust them.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/16/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cedabug,

Try not to worry about the other girls.....it's obvious that your boyfriend loves you, and those other girls who are trying to pursue him will most likely look desperate to him, if anything. It's been my experience that guys don't really appreciate it when girls pursue them.....they would prefer to spend time with a girl who isn't so easy. Trust his commitment to you....he's already proven how much he cares.
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


cedabug
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/16/2009 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for talking to me.You have really helped me.
I'm going to try to take your advice and not worry about the girls.
Hopefully our love rules over all others.
 
thank you
-cedabug


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/16/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cedabug,

I'm glad I was able to help in some way. I know it feels really good to be able to talk about these things.....that is one of the best parts about coming here, in my experience. Please know I wish you the very best, and I hope you'll continue to post and share with us. I really enjoyed reading your posts to other members, too, and I think you are a wise and kind hearted person.
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 

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