posting i made to bipolar list

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ Next Thread >> ]

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 274
   Posted 9/19/2004 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
last week i tripped over a trigger and was in the worst depression i've had in years. spent four days of seeing nothing but darkness thru my tears. felt like i could not and would not take of myself. for the first time, thought of cutting or beating so as to feel physical pain instead of the wretched depression. hated everything, especially friends who dared to check on me. felt i was bothering everyone. didn't want to take the handfuls of pills every day.

however, on the fourth day i was pacing, tearing things out of my closets/drawers to find anything that even vaguely reminded me of this "former" friend who triggered me so badly. used to go manic with being nasty, losing concentration and irritable.

please help me. can bipolar change with the need? never in my life did i think of cutting. maybe offing myself, but not replacing mental anguish with physical pain. just seemed that was the only thing to do, as i had failed at offing myself in the past.

yes, taking my pills, because a friend called the group that i see. somehow or other, someone made me take them. not sure. just feel nothing's working, plus i'm not worth it. feel like a seroquel junkie, but the blasted pills do slow me down. why won't everyone just leave me alone? very afraid of getting thrown back again.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, October 20, 2016 2:51 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,709,033 posts in 298,763 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 153273 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, pevloome.
426 Guest(s), 14 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
waleygator, George_, klwxo95, Candy_Apple, 3HumpedCamel, therearemiracles, Cookiesk9, 1000Daisies, Girlie, lucysgd, DJBearGuy, DMM, k07, julymorning

Follow on Facebook  Follow on Twitter  Follow on Pinterest

©1996-2016 LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer