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love me hard
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/17/2009 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
confused  hi, i'm very new on here and never ever did this before, so today i'm just going to be short and very frank. I'm 25yrs. old, I have a 8 yr.old. I have a great career. i am at peace at my home. I work with wonderful people, My family and i are not very close but we get along. so thats all the positive in my life. i'm just having a very hard time dealing with my boyfriend(32yrs.old)  of almost 1 year, we love eachother so very much, but we are so darn stubborn, i just wanna be the bigger person, when he feels the need to run his mouth. i really need to learn to walk away ,laugh something and i never thing to do in the present of the arguement. believe me i know what i want. but i have no clue how to train myself to do it. any suggestions would be terrific. thx  

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/17/2009 1:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Love Me Hard,

First of all, welcome to the healingwell depression forum.

I know what you mean about biting your tongue and walking away from an argument. I think that comes with practice. It is hard to keep control when things are going on, you want to stress your point so badly. Try to think ahead and put your mind to it. Just walk away, no matter what is said by him. You can do this, but it does take practice and will power. Don't feel alone, I have the same problem. For some reason, I always want to get in the last word. But I have learned from experience that it is best to walk away and discuss things when they have cooled down.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/17/2009 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi LoveMeHard,

I totally agree with Karen.....it's tough to do, but it does come with practice. You have to pick your battles, as they say, and there are a lot of issues that just aren't worth fighting about when it comes right down to it. Even if you are not sure whether or not the issue is a deal breaker, try putting the discussion on pause for a while, until you can take a walk, or a drive, or just go into another room until things calm down. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words, and saying nothing can cause the other person to stop and think, too. Let us know how it goes, okay? And welcome to the forum!
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 6/18/2009 12:17 AM (GMT -7)   
welcome to you. hi i am jamie. the guys have given u some excellent info. my tip, 30 minutes you talk, without disturbing, not even once, reflect and sum up, 30 minutes the other. an excellent technique for hearing one another. all the best, jamie
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