A part of my life..

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Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/18/2009 12:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi....
My name is Sarah...
I want to tell you a bit about my life....
Well I am special needs person with some learning difficulties....
Ever since I was 5 years of age, I have gotten bullied... Cause of my speach and the way how I was.....
When I was 7 years old I gave my live to God....
When I was 11 years old, I went to a christian camp called Bridge Valley Christian Ranch, there I re-commited my life to God....
At the age of 11 years old, I got baptized...
The song I had for my baptism was called "Jesus Lover of my Soul"
When I was at my last year of intermedaite, I was 12 years of age then...
My mum and Dad splat up for about 3 of 4 months, then they got back togeather again...
I can remeber I thought that my mum and dad splat up cause of me, Cause That I was a special needs person, but no it was not because of that...
I can remeber the afternoon that my mum told my sister and me about what happend, we had to sleep in the car that night...
I got to sleep in the front seat by mum...
One part of the night I woke up and the car was driving, so I looked at my mum and she told me to turn back over while she kept on driving...
So I turned back over and I looked out of the car window and I could see the stars shining, and I felt like crying cause I felt unloved, broken, hurt and depressed.
Anway's the year after that I was 13 years of age and I had just started college....
There was so some boys that were saying to me that God did not exits and that I would not be going to heaven.......
So I felt angry as well as still feeling depressed.... That one sunday afternoon I was in my bedroom and I felt like dying....
So I got my sissors and I     my wrist......
My mum found out, just by listing on the phone when my friend rung to talk to me...
So my mum rung My school, so that she could tell my teachers in the Learner support Center... The head of the Learner Support Center made a counsliior's appointment to see the school counsillor, which I did not like...
After that My life went up and down, where one day I would be so depressed that I would put my stuff down....
Other things have happend like, I had 2 friendship brakeups but lucky one of my friends is friends with me again, I have had alot of loved friends and family died and yea...
So I am still feeling really depressed....
From Sarah

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 6/18/2009 5:11:48 AM (GMT-6)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 6/18/2009 1:34 AM (GMT -7)   
hi sarah, a lot of sadness my dear. you ca't change the past, but you can alter your future. time to talk to your doctor, hmm. your faith is yours, if yours is strong then keep it that way. we all express pain differently, hence some guidance is recommended. stay strong, we care. jamie

Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/18/2009 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I bottle everything up inside and I am sure i will have a meltdown..
From Sarah

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 6/18/2009 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
okay sara, time to let that bottle open ever so gently. from writing stuff down, by drawing your anger/worries, by getting some music on, a bath, walking, poetry, whatever works for you. exploding, well not good, nor is a melt-down, release a bit, hey, talk to me, vent if you need to, we care. jamie. keep posting.

Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/18/2009 2:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I would e-mail you but I don't know your address...
It is so Hard..
From Sarah

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 6/18/2009 4:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sarah,

You can add your email address to your profile and Jamie can email you. Or you could meet in chat if you want. I think you need to get to a counselor or a therapist and talk. Keeping things bottled up is not good. You need to be open. But be careful of what you write, there are rules and guidlines that we have to follow.

You are in my thoughts sweetie. Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 6/18/2009 4:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Dont give up- Jaimee and Karen gave you great advice. I too am a christian and my faith is a large part of what helps me cope. I agree that professional counselling would be good, and you can also journal your fears and frustrations so they dont bottle and explode. same for any creative outlet. I really hope you can find someone who can help you in your journey cos it sounds like youve had it rough, but also sounds like you are strong, and a fighter.

Hang in there,

Maz XX


                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Asthma, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/18/2009 5:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes... Well I am trying to be strong and, not have a brakedown or a meltdown...
I Just feel really depressed that I want to go and cry in bed....
And just Cry and cry and cry and cry and cry..
A couple of years ago in one of the holidays there was a christian youth camp called Get Smart, that my youth group went to.. and for the whole holidays, escpcially the camp I had trouble with eating food, I just would not eat any food...
If I ate food, it would only be a little bit of food.....
From Sarah..

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 6/18/2009 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Crying is cleansing. so if you feel like it, do so. Let it all out maybe in the privacy of your room. Or out in the woods somewhere. Just let it go and you will feel better. It is a good release. There is nothing wrong with it.

Keep posting, as we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/18/2009 5:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks... I will try and do that...
How do you update your profile??
Sometimes I hit stuff, Just so that I don't     myself again..
From Sarah

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 6/18/2009 8:05:20 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 6/18/2009 7:04 AM (GMT -7)   
To update your profile, you go to control panel. It is the blue bar on the top of the page. Well, the second blue bar. I have to edit your post, because we are not allowed to mention cutting. Sorry about that. You can use the words self harm instead.

I hope that you can have a release other than hitting. I use to do that. All it did was hurt my hands and I would destroy things that I loved. Try to let it out in other ways, such as crying, art, exercise. You really need to channel your feelings.

Wishing you the best.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/18/2009 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Sarah,

Hello and Welcome.  To edit profile:

1. Click on Control Panel above in the dark blue strip.

2. Click on edit profile in the screen that opens up.

3. Now go to email and type in your in email address in this next screen.

4.  Below email there is a box to check to show email or hide email.  Check the show email if you want your email to be available online.

Take care and I would like to see you in therapy if that is an option.  Therapy does take some hard work but I think you are strong enough to work through your depression with help.

Gentle Hugs and keep on talking to us.

Kitt

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis & GERD/Heartburn
Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/18/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sarah,

Your post really touched my heart, and I can tell that you have a beautiful soul….it shines through in your post. My faith is a very strong part of who I am and my healing process, and I hope you will rely on your faith, as well, to help you through this. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with the school counselor, but I hope you will consider getting some counseling again….if not from a therapist, perhaps from a leader or member at your place of worship.

I know it can be hurtful when others say or do things to bring us down, and it takes time to recover from that hurt and get back to being ourselves. The most important thing to remember is this: you are worthy of love, and you deserve to have a healthy and a happy life. Please stay strong and take good care of yourself, and reach out for help with your depression. Things can and will get better, and I know you have the power to make it happen.
 
 
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel

 

 


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 6/18/2009 9:46 PM (GMT -7)   
sarah, my partner has various levels of ability. disability, the word itself is in need of change. hoping things improve for you, yeah...time to get out of the 4 walls to clear your head. keep posting. all the best, jamie.
 
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/19/2009 3:58 AM (GMT -7)   
I went to work today... Man it felt so long....
Now I am checking my e-mails...
I so wish this wasn't hard to get over...
From Sarah..

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 6/19/2009 4:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Godschick said...
I went to work today... Man it felt so long....
But you DID it, and thats an achievement. Good on you for not giving up. Try and stay in the moment and view this as a small victory.
 
Maz XX
                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Asthma, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 6/19/2009 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Yea, I did make it through work......
I am going to bed soon and try and get some sleep, don't know if I will.
From Sarah..

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Sarah,

I am hoping you were able to get a good nights sleep and that today will be a good day for you.

You have had wonderful response from the members and I will be here to support you through out your journey to healing.

Remember one day at a time. ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

Kitt

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis & GERD/Heartburn
Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 6/19/2009 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   
keep fightin' sarah. jamie smilewinkgrin

Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/15/2009 2:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey I am still trying to push forward a bit...
I had a few days of work which was so nice to do that.....
Well Please keep praying for me.....
From Sarah

boo32
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/15/2009 2:38 AM (GMT -7)   
hi sarah,
I'm a praying person and you're in my thoughts. Keep your faith, people that redicule it are often just misinformed and don't allow others to express themselves. You sound like such a nice person. I have learning difficulties and while it led to bullying from teachers and students when i was growing up it just made me into the person i am today. Remember. it's in the past and just look forward.
Take care, boo
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.
GAD


Godschick
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/15/2009 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Boo
You sound nice to... Hope we can get to know each other...
From Sarah

boo32
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/15/2009 3:15 AM (GMT -7)   
you too sarah, i've pulled myself together enough to go to work now so i'ii be off line for a while.
I hope you have a nice day.
boo
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.
GAD


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 7/15/2009 3:58 AM (GMT -7)   
dear sarah, you are sounding better. thx boo for sharing. kindness to all. jamie
 
sarah, keep fighting!!!!! tongue

firefly9
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 7/16/2009 8:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sarah-
I must say I'm proud of you, you sound like a great gal. I also gave my life to the Lord- stay strong and keep your faith in Him. He loves you so much and He is always with you, even when it doesn't feel like it. God is so real, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. He has fearfully, and wonderfully made you- it says in His word. His love for you is great, so please do not hurt yourself and just keep relying on him for strength and healing.

Love and prayers for you.
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