trying to figure out what to do

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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1343
   Posted 6/18/2009 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   

I was diagnosed with MDD & PTSD 8 years ago as a result of my traumatic/abusive childhood. Everything had been going well, until I moved a year ago and had to leave my drs behind.

I really liked my psychiatrist, and she'd led me to believe that we would be able to continue together by phone appointments after I moved up here. But the last time I tried to make an appointment, no one called me back, even after I left a couple messages. Then a week later, I get a letter in the mail, saying the dr can't see me anymore. Basically completely abandoned me and shattered my trust. And I have issues related to feeling abandoned and having a very, very difficult time trusting people to begin with.

And this isn't the first time this has happened to me. The therapist I saw did the same thing to me, though she also changed her fee & cancellation policy completely without telling me.

Now, I found a new doctor here, but I've been having trouble with them too. They had a therapist call me to make an appointment with me, completely behind my back without talking to me about this at all. I refused to see the therapist, though I said a psychiatrist purely for medication maintenance would be okay. And I was told they would have a psychiatrist call me. After 2 months, I've heard absolutely nothing. Even after calling them to find out what's going on.

And then the new doctor won't refill my Lexapro, and I don't have any other doctors who would. Though, in light of all these negative experiences with doctors, I'm not sure I want to have anything to do with them or would trust them with anything.

Been without the Lexapro for over a week now, and I'm doing okay. Though I'm going to need to take SOMETHING, since my depression symptoms have always come back other times I've tried to go off it.

I like the idea of an herbal antidepressant, and was thinking of using St Johns Wort & 5HTP. But I don't know how long of an interval needs to have elapsed before I can safely take the herbs.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 6/18/2009 9:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sayyadina,

I'm so sorry for all the disappointments and poor treatment you've had to deal with. I am always amazed at the lack of consideration that some professionals have for their patients, particularly where depression is concerned. I hope you will be able to trust again, and reconsider some counseling, when the time is right for you. There ARE some good ones out there.....but it takes time to find them, sometimes.

I can't advise you about weaning off periods for anti-depressants or how long you should wait before trying an herbal alternative, but I would strongly encourage you to talk to a doctor (whether it be an allopathic, homeopathic or naturopathic doctor) about this before you try anything. I take St. John's Wort myself, under the direct care of a naturopathic doc, and with the approval of my GP. I find it really helpful with respect to my depression and my sleeping habits.

I wish I could offer something more uplifting about your medical situation, but I do understand from experience how frustrating it can be. Please continue to post here, and take time to investigate more options for your treatment. I wish you the very best.
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.”  ~Kahlil Gibran



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