Welcome to HealingWell. I am so sorry about your husband and all of the difficulties you have experienced lately. Bless you.
I am not sure I understand, does your husband have a illness besides his depression that he is in the hospital for?
If you are talking strictly about his depression you must be strong and realize that his illness is causing him to feel so hopeless and he can receive help. It is not hopeless although it may feel like it is. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is never the right choice and your husband has you to support him and to love him.
Most health professionals today consider depression a chronic illness that requires long-term treatment, much like diabetes or high blood pressure. Although some people experience only one episode of depression, most have repeated episodes of depression symptoms throughout their life.
Effective diagnosis and treatment can help reduce even severe depression symptoms. And with effective treatment, most people with depression feel better, often within weeks, and can return to the daily activities they previously enjoyed.
Please remember my new friend, suicidal feelings are the result of treatable problems.
Talk with your husband's doctors and make sure they understand your husband's state of mind. I know this is really sad and trying for you right now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just keep on believing and things will get better.
You have all of us now to help you cope and we support you.
Thank you so much for your clarification re your husband's hospitalization.
You have received wonderful words of wisdom from Karen and Raniah. I agree with them, you need to take care of you right now.
I am going to try to give you some helpful hints to do just that to help you get through this difficult time.
Try to expand and strengthen your individual network of support from family and friends. You’re going to need on-going support and encouragement, so resist the urge to try to carry the burden of your husband's depression silently on your shoulders by yourself.
Let your family and friends know how they can help you and let them know what challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself from others. Coming here and talking to us was a brave thing to do and one way of reaching out for support so do keep talking to us.
Take the team approach toward managing your husband's depression and say, “We’re in this together—we’re a team!” You want your husband to feel the energy and power of team support.
Now one of the toughest things of all, learn to de-personalize your spouse’s behavior. Remind yourself that your husband is ill—and that’s different from being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn or deliberately trying to make your life difficult.
Try to remember that your mate’s perception, attitude, actions, patience, and stamina are being impacted in major ways by the depression. When people are depressed, they often blame everyone else for their problems and see only the negatives in daily life. This is about the depression—not about you. You are a wonderful wife and yet I know you are feeling very alone and isolated having the husband that you know and love turn into this complete stranger.
Take good care of yourself in every way, lostwife, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. You can’t afford to lose yourself and become consumed by your husband's depression.
It’s very challenging to be around negative, pessimistic, depressive energy without starting to feel the same way. The only antidote is to stay balanced and centered by practicing good self-care behavior and doing things to nurture yourself.
Please know that we are here for you and we care. My prayers for both you and your husband.
Gentle Hugs to you,