Need serious treatment withoutshrink

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kntrl
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/1/2009 2:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Im having a hard timing getting through my daily life. I have severe anxiety and a very negative outlook in general. My pattern is such that i start doing great in all facetts in my life and i always makes stupid decisions after that .i stop caring about the effects to my decisions.It hurt my marriage. It just utterly destroys my work(sales) which is huge cause its 90% attitude. Im very paranoid because of low self esteem but im not ugly or stupid s it sucks. Just thinking about all this stuff gave me a ulcer. Im now on medication and need to rebuild this life from the foundation up. I hve a good girl , i see my kids on the weekends but something is missing. Im so introverted thats its hard for me to empothies with other people. Even my own children sometimes? i really dont know what to do. I dint have health insurance so i cant get medication im only 32 i have the world ahead of me but nothing works im still miserable most of the time. Somebody talk to me . this thing we call reality is getting harder everyday. Wan to give up but im barely hanging on to my grips. Somebody talk somebody listen this is a risk for me coming here

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/1/2009 2:36 AM (GMT -7)   
i am listening. what is it that you are missing? do you know what is causing this? sorry to be direct, it seems from what you said that you sabotage some things. i am male, 37, hi i am jamie.  u have good kids, a good girl these are real positives. if ok can you explain why it is a risk for posting here. keep safe, call your psych dept at your nearest hosp if you feel at risk, or the relevant help lines in your area. with kindness. jamie.
 
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

kntrl
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/1/2009 3:41 AM (GMT -7)   
i meant it was a risk because im putting myself out to strangers. im not sure about any local hospitals like i said i dont have any insurance and I still owe when i went in for my ulcer. im not really sure whats missing.everything just has no substance and seems fake. I just dont understand one day im happy the next day im depressed. But even when im happy i feel like depression is right around the corner. ive been battling this since i was young Why cant the little things that everybody talks about make my life meaningful. Its like this. Right now its 630 in the morning where im from. Im supposed to be going to work at 930 but i havent even fell asleep at all. I just keep thinking and my mind keeps racing negative thoughts around. i hae been fighting with my girl all night and i just dont want to get up and go through another day like this. Im not thinking suicide or anything like that. I coud never do that. Mine is more like shutting down and not going to work and afraid to leace the house because theres people out there. I think ive made a maze for myself in my brain. Im not really describing this very well but this post crap is happening really fast. why cant everything go at least smooth and consistant. How the hell do normal people acheive this. It cant just be your upbringing. what if you upbringing sucked. Why cant you just let it go. Im rambling now. Its funy to think that i have 2 beautiful kids, a really caring girlfriend(im divorced) and a good income job if my heads on right(commision only} Is there any way to generate positive thoughts without medication. I would to take a happy pill and it will all be over. BUt i know lie isnt like that. My name is chris

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/1/2009 4:09 AM (GMT -7)   
hi chris, a few things are going on. i feel that a chat to your doctor would help clarify why you are feeling this way. a lot of treatments do not rquire medication, cbt, meditation, mindfulness practice etc. something is causing this. if it is esculating, then i would not wait to see your doc. i wish you well. i am on the other side of the earth, thus i am somewhat unfimiliar with your system, but i am learning moree with every post. i admire your courage, here at hw we care, so keep posting. take care of you chris. healings jamie.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 7/1/2009 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chris,

If you feel that you cannot go to see your doctor about this, you should try to find ways to calm yourself and get some rest, through meditation, relaxation CDs, and perhaps some kind of counseling....maybe through a community organization or church. Depression goes deeper than just getting a good night's sleep, but that is an important first step, IMO. Please consider talking to someone about your problems. In the meantime, you are always welcome to talk here, and vent your frustrations, and share your pain. We are here for you, so please come back and let us know how it's going.
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 


kntrl
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/17/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
ive been feeling better lately started a counseling program   just trying to take it one day at a time. i think a lot of the problems is how i feel about myself. at work will talk later  thanks for the thoughts people they have helped so far

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 7/17/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chris,

Congratulations for getting that appointment. I know that it is going to help you. You sound like a really nice and caring person. Coming here was your first big step. You are now on your way to healing.

Best wishes for a wonderful day...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 7/17/2009 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chris,

I'm so glad you came back and posted again. It's good that you are starting to feel better, and I'm really happy to know that you started a counseling program. That's wonderful. I hope things continue to improve for you. Taking it one day at a time is definitely the way to go.
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 

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