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bella23
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/2/2009 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.  THIS PAIN IN MY HEAD IS WITH ME EVERYDAY.  I FEEL LIKE IVE CREATED A MONSTER IN MY HEAD.  IVE HAD BREAKDOWNS IN THE PAST BUT THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.  IVE GOT OVER MY LAST 3 BREADOWNS RELATIVELY QUICKLY BUT THIS ONE IS THE LONGEST ONE IVE EVER HAD.  THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SILLY BUT I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE HAS A "VOODOO" DOLL AND IS STICKING PINS IN MY HEAD.  I TALK TO GOD EVERYDAY AND ASK HIM WHAT IS THIS THING IN MY HEAD.  IT STARTED 1 AND A HALF YEARS AGO.  MY MOTHER DIES IN 06 AND I WENT BACK TO WORK AND WORKED ALL OF 07 UNTIL DECEMBER THAT YEAR THATS WHEN I STARTED GETTING THIS PAIN IN MY HEAD. DURING 08 I WAS OFF WORK AND LOOKED AFTER MY DAD. THEN IN NOVEMBER 08 MY DAD DIED AND I GOT WORSE.  I WAS VERY CLOSE TO MY PARENTS AND I LIVED WITH THEM TILL THE AGE OF 47.  I WOKE UP ONE MORNING AT 3 AND WAS CRYING PROFUSELY AND WAS DELIRIOUS. I RANG 000 AND ASKED FOR AN AMBULANCE. I WAS TAKEN TO THE BOX HILL HOSPITAL AND THAT MORNING WAS ADMITTED TO THE MELBOURNE CLINIC FOR 6 WEEKS.  I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE. MAYBE A LITTLE BETTER BUT THIS ILLNESS IS DOMINATING MY LIFE.  I AM SO SCARED IM NOT GOING TO GET BETTER I AM TERRIFIED.  WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.  SO FAR THEY HAVE DIAGNOSED ME WITH MAJOR DEPRESSION.  I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE TO MY DOCTOR WHAT IVE GOT ANYMORE I AM TAKEN MEDICATION BUT IT DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  I USE TO BE SO WELL. THE DOCTORS SAY THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS DEATH BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A GREAT CHANGE IN MY LIFE.  I FEEL LIKE OVERDOSING BUT PART OF ME DOESNT WANT TO BUT THIS IS DESTROYING ME.  HAS ANYONE GOT ANY ADVICE PLEASE?
 

Steelcody36
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 7/2/2009 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
The main thing is that you need to relax! I'm no doctor but stress can cause headaches. I am sorry for the losses you have had, unfortunately we all lose family and I know they wouldn't want you to suffer. Please just try and live day to day and think positively if you can.

Good luck,

Cody

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/2/2009 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Bella,

First of all I am sorry you are feeling so stressed out.  Are you in therapy?  Do you have friends you can talk to or call to be with you and share your feelings?

I know the CBT Online is posted often, have you worked through the program?

Perhaps you need a change in your medication.  confused

E couch is another free online therapy you can work from home.  Here is the link:

 
How about doing something just for you. A complete body massage is one of the best remedies for stress. Stress can cause headaches and body pain. A good body massage can relax the muscles and improve blood circulation in the body. This will give tremendous relief in body pain and stress.
 
Remember you are a very important member of the HW family and we all want you to feel better.
 
FYI, gentle reminder, rule 15: 15. No SHOUTING.  Remember, using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS in posts is considered yelling and rude, plus it is difficult to read.
 
Thank you for your understanding.

Health & Happiness,
Kitt

 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 7/2/2009 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bella,

Yes one day at a time. Often one moment at a time. I know that it is difficult for you right now. And I feel your sorrow. It is very deep my friend. Losing parents so close together must have been very difficult for you. And I think it really took a toll on you. But as Steel said, I don't think your parents would want to see you suffer so.

I lost my mom, grandmother, an aunt and two sisters all within a year. It was so hard for me. I felt so lonely. I am sure that you feel the same way.

Keep posting sweetie. We are all here for you. The only thing that I ask is that you don't type in all capitals. It is considered shouting, as I know that you are not. And can be construed as rude, which you are not. We are all here for you and want the best for you. It takes time to get over grief. I know it has no time limits and there are no rules. So be good to youself my friend, you deserve that.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bionca
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 7/2/2009 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Bella, first off, you really do need to try and calm down and listen to what people are telling you here, especially the moderators. Secondly, if you don't mind my asking, what medications are you taking? The voodoo pins in your head thing may be a side affect of some sort and maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to call your doctor. Thirdly, have you considered talking to, maybe, a pastor or someone? Everyone is here for you (I happen to know that first hand) so just keep writing. best wishes to you and I hope you feel better soon.
Diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, Epstein-Barr virus, and severe depression. Have been on Prozac, cylexa, Effexor, and Wellbutrin. Currently, I'm o.k. but I have my share of ups and downs.


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/2/2009 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Bella,
I am so sorry to hear of all you're going through right now. It sounds really tough. The others have already given you really, really great advice, so I just wanted to take a quick moment to offer my support & also to address your last point.

Please do not take extra meds. It is not a great idea & from what I've seen, people just end up really, really sick and then are committed to a mental hospital. If you are feeling really awful, please contact your psychiatrist (or prescribing physician, if you don't yet have a psych). Perhaps you need to spend more time in a safe environment trying to find out what's causing all of this -- physical, hormonal, emotional, etc. -- and then trying to figure out a long-term solution to manage the depression so it doesn't get to be so bad.

Try to hang in there. I know that is really hard to do sometimes, but we are all here to support you, so keep posting and letting us know what's going on & what you need.

hugs & prayers,
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


bella23
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/2/2009 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you to everyone who responded to my letter.  It was such a great relief to hear from all of you and giving me all your advice.  Sorry I typed in capitals, it wasn't because i was trying to be rude or shout i just had it on capitals.  The mornings are the worse but I then soon pick up.  I will keep you posted.
 
thanks
bella23
 

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/2/2009 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Bella,
I am so glad to hear you are feeling a bit better this evening. I know mornings are really hard for me as well. My PCP says that's because it's when my thyroid hormones are lowest (I think production is slowed down or stopped when you sleep). I'm wondering whether you've looked into whether there might be some sort of hormonal issue in addition to an emotional difficulties.
I've started on BCP & thyroid now and it is soooo much easier to fight the depression. It is still hard to want to get out of bed in the morning, but I just started the meds 3 weeks ago & my doc says it takes time to get them adjusted.

Maybe it really is just the dread of facing the day, but I wasn't told for a very long time that hormones can affect depression, so now I try to tell everyone. :)

I sure hope you feel better!
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/2/2009 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Bella,

Mornings have always been my hard times too.  I have really fought hard to bring them under control.  Many mornings I used to wake up and the tears would start before I even got out of bed as I did not know what to do with myself or my day.

Now I wake up and I usually give myself permission to come here and check in on all and hopefully I am able to give someone encouragement or just acknowledge their fears and the problems they are having.  It helps me to help others.

Having a very casual job helped me during the school year and I do look forward to doing that again in September.  It gave me a purpose and added meaning to my life. 

I have you in my prayers so stay strong and keep on working on healing.  Remember you are always a work in progress.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 7/2/2009 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Bella,

Thanks for checking in with us. I just wanted to let you know about the capitals because that is what it means on the forum. I am glad that you changed it. It is also harder to read.

I hope that you are feeling better. Mornings are hard. I find evenings are easier for me. And night of course because I get to go to bed. That is my escape. It is easy for me to do.

Please keep posting. As you can see there are a lot of people here who care about you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bionca
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 7/2/2009 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I absolutely, positively, despise mornings!!! I wake so cranky and miserable that I won't even look at myself in the mirror. That's why I like working first shift. I get up before everyone, have my coffee (me time) and then I hop into the shower and get my morning started. Once my shower motivates me, I usually behave like a civilized person. lol Cut yourself some slack and maybe your mornings will get better.
Diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, Epstein-Barr virus, and severe depression. Have been on Prozac, cylexa, Effexor, and Wellbutrin. Currently, I'm o.k. but I have my share of ups and downs.

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