Lost Someone I Love

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

lostanother
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/2/2009 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I am a 42 year old woman for as long as I remember have had some jealousy issues that I have not discussed with anyone.
 
I was married to a drug addict whom I left in the end because I found a hotel bill and left him.
 
I stayed single for about 4 years and I finally met a man, 10 months ago, who assured me time and time again that he loved me.  He even changed his lifestyle to conform to my demands but it was never good enough and I still didnt trust him.
 
Last nite he had enough of it, and he broke up with me.  I panicked and started obsessing  kept calling him over an over and tensting him over over but he did not respond and that made me so crazy desperate.  Finally he said dont call me again, i hate you, i want to break up with you and if you call me again i will call the police.
 
I was devastate and today I texted him at least 6 times and begged him to talk to me...  no response...  i dont know what to do i am so depressed and irritable...  i cant even enjoy anything or my children... i guess they r sensing there is something wrong with me...
 
I cant accept the fact that he left me and i wish i hadnt hurt him... he really did love me...

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 7/2/2009 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   
dear lostanother,
 
from a guys perspective, give him some time. i am sorry that your expereinces in the past have been hurtful and damaging. i do hope things resolve themselves soon, for you, your health, children, etc. remember we are here to support you. thx 4 your courage in posting. take care of you. jamie.

lostanother
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/3/2009 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
You mean there is hope for me? How can one change when I have been jealous since I can crawl?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/3/2009 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Welcome to HealingWell. I am so sorry to hear that you have lost this relationship due to jealousy.  I have found from my own experience taking someone and demanding they change in order to fit the mold of what you are looking for in a person has never worked. It feels to me like working on your own problems and feeling good about who you are is your next best step.
 
Jealousy is an instinctive emotion that arises most commonly in women who do not feel sufficiently worthy to retain affection and respect purely on their own merits.
It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes some people to attempt to constrain the behavior of their friends and lovers, when in fact those constraints and the emotions that they represent are far more likely to damage the relationships they are intended to protect.
 
Again I am sorry you are going through this and wondering if you would consider therapy for yourself to help you build up your self esteem. 
 
You are worthy of a loving relationship where you are both equal and where you can feel confident that you are emotionally safe.  Even in the strongest relationships sometimes things go wrong and life does change. 
 
Please know we are here to support you and keep on talking to us.
 
Gentle Hugs to you,
Kitt
 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 7/3/2009 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lostanother,

I am so sorry for you situation. But if he told you to leave him alone, I think that is what you need to do. You don't want to alienate him any further.

I too think that you should get into some counseling and work on your jealousy issues. I remember when my first husband didn't trust me and that is a heavy burden to carry. It hurts and can get aggrivating to be accused of things that you didn't do. Or to feel suffocated by it.

Please seek counseling, you can get past this, I know. It just takes time and effort.

Best wishes to you. I hope that you can be happy, with or without a man.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


lostanother
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/3/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel very overwhelmed and sad. But I am grateful that someone understands and I hope to feel less pain as each day goes by.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 7/6/2009 5:51 AM (GMT -7)   
we here for you. i hope the pain lessens for you. i wish you well. jamie.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/6/2009 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Lost,

I understand that feeling of overwhelming sadness.  We are all here for you so do lean on us and we will help you through this tough time.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 11:08 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,180 posts in 301,280 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151384 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Effieadler009.
245 Guest(s), 6 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Mews2much, bluelyme, ufindjess, Girlie, Jaybee&GG, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer