Oh Frances. I am truly, truly very sorry. I understand the heartache, pain, fear and anger that you have described. You have always been there for me throughout this same battle as I am just a few steps behind you. I can't believe (but should) that they actually showed up at your doorstep expecting to be let inside. These people are cold and unfeeling. All I can say or do for you now is (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))).
However, please do not feel ashamed of yourself. I have seen how hard you have worked to try to first get a job and then to try and make ends meet. I also know about all the endless calls you made to the bank. After making these same calls myself, I know how they literally toss you around from department to department and no one either answers your questions or provides consistent feedback.
Oh my dear Frances,
I can so identify with what you are feeling. Eight years ago, I was married, owned my own four bedroom home, was making good money at a high level position for a major defense contractor when the rug got pulled out from me. Living so many years under stressful situations just caught up with me and I ended up crashing and burning. I had to go on disability. I divorced my Autistic husband who had started to cheat on me, sold the house and moved back to my home town. I lived with my parents briefly, but that was totally unsatisfactory...I just couldn't get along with my mother. I had no friends to fall back on. I moved into a two bedroom townhouse, downsizing and putting all my extra belongings into the basement of the townhouse. I wasn't making it there financially on my disability check, so when the landlord went to raise the rent, I was forced to move into a two bedroom apartment. Now a lot of my stuff is stashed all over my parents house and I'm constantly having to search for things. Last year, I was forced to declare bankruptcy because of escalating interest rates and service charges on my credit cards and huge medical costs. That has been a real bitter pill to swallow.
I used to be middle class, but not anymore. I'm definitely lower class now and I'm really having a hard time comining to terms with that concept. I'll never own my own house again. I'll never be able to be able to afford another vacation which is really tough this time of year. I can't just go out and buy I new piece of clothing when I need it. My friends are fairly well-to-do and I totally feel like crap when I can't participate in activities because I can't afford them. They don't treat me differently, but I get embarrassed when I have to beg off of things because I can't afford them. My parents still have to cover the overflow of medical bills and insurance that my disability simply will not cover, and any emergency problem that comes up. Heck, I can't even get married again unless I find a financially independent man that can cover my extra expenses and free up my parents.
Frances, I understand the dispare you feel. In addition to the financial downturn, I've also had to deal with permanent brain damage from a medication I took several years ago. I'm never going to get my brain back either. It's really tough to know you're not as smart as you used to be either. I'm stuck in the land of "moderate" depression, and none of that "cognitive" crap works for me. I hope that your situation works it's way out. I'd check with legal aid, or at least search the web, as there are a lot of non-profit groups willing to lend a hand in these circumstances under the current financial crisis.
Best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you my friend,
Of course you should be posting your problems here and letting us help you. You are family here and moderators have issues too. (((((((HUGS))))))))
I am so sorry you are in a tough position and I can imagine losing a home, it make the hair stand up on the back of my neck to think of it.
I know it sounds corny but tomorrow is another day and you can't see the future so hang in there and see what tomorrow brings. If nothing, see what the next day brings and so on. Don't give up.
I am going to guess that you checked into the foreclosure laws for your state and have done whatever you could to stop the bank. I hope you will let go of the guilt as the economy is not your fault. You are working a temporary job.
If there was another city you could move to without going to your parents where might you go? Could you imagine going to a new city and starting over? Friends or other relatives that may be able to help you start fresh?
If your boss is a mean person and you can let go of the house starting over fresh may be your route.
I started over once with 3 small children. We moved to a different city and I rented a house. I took a job in a factory. I would have moved home to my hometown but my Mother did not want me to do that. So I did what I could and finally made it.
Any chance of selling your house and getting some equity? How about a sale, anything you could sell that may bring in money. An insurance policy you could cash in or borrow against?
I wish I had a good idea for you as these sound pretty lame.
Please know that you must keep on fighting your depression. I too am glad you are on your thyroid medication.
Frances, email me if you ever feel like it. I am here for you. You are a warm and gentle person and you deserve happiness.
Peace and hugs,
Post Edited (stkitt) : 7/3/2009 4:38:20 PM (GMT-6)
Frances: It's me, Cass, again. Just a thought. I am assuming that the bank does not have a legal right to get inside of your house yet. Could you call or visit your local police station and let them know you have a man/men outside of your house that are harassing you? I'm guessing that because they do not have a court order they cannot force their way inside of your home. Perhaps the police might be able to answer that question.
Dear Frances, I am so very very sorry for all the problems you are having to go through. You said your loan was sold to Freddie Mac. That is one of the companies that the government is trying to help out with people who can't pay their mortgages. Please talk to your attorney and find out what the rules are because the government is supposed to be working in your favor to help out this mortgage crisis. You may need to really push your attorney but it is worth trying. Can you go directly into your bank and speak with the branch manager? Sometimes the person highest up in your local bank may be sympathetic and try to help you. I know how terribly hard this has been on you and I will say prayers for you every day. I wish there was something I could do for you as you are a very trusted and special friend. Something is bound to work out for you in some way. Please know how many of us care about you and want you to have this resolved. Try to take care of you.
Many gentle hugs,
Oh Frances, how awful for you! I am so sorry you are having to go through all this. But from what I can tell, you are strong, and you are a fighter. No matter how dark and futile it seems there is always hope.
You are in my prayers-
mcjane and Frances
Awesome, and Frances you posted "My loan was bundled & sold to Freddie Mac". mc may just have found you a loop hole. I sure hope so. Prayerfully,
Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 7/5/2009 5:01:10 PM (GMT-6)
I am so excited about your recognizing that you can be footloose and fancy free of what is tying you to your area. The University of Rwanda, that is absolutely awesome and I think it would be great for you. Your plan to venture into Mercy Studies feels to me like a good idea. You are obviously an advocate for Africa and how lucky they would be to have you working for them.
You are kind and caring and with your history of having to deal with so much throughout your life you have great empathy. You have my prayers and support and if you do go to Africa I would try to help you out in some way.
I turned down the opportunity to go with Doctors without Borders back a while ago second degree to my depression and the fear that I would be a burden on the group should I have a stress reaction to being so far from home. Several of our Doctors and nurses went two years in a row.
I am here for you so please do know you have support of so many here in HW.
Frances, You really need to push your attorney about your mortgage situation. Even if your bank holds the mortgage, if Freddie Mac bought it then they own it. Your bank is not being honest with you. If you listened to news reports a while back the President said there would be help for people with mortgages owned by Freddie and Fannie Mae. If your attorney doesn't know this he needs to do some research. Has anyone suggested to you that you try to do a short sale? That would be selling the house for less than it is worth but you would be rid of it. The bank is threatening you because if they forclose they lose all the money. And believe me I know they don't want to lose that money. I know we are not supposed to endorse anything but if you went to Suze Orman's website you could find out more about this whole situation. She is really a financial wizard. All you have to do is go on the internet and type in her name and you will find a wealth of advice. I truly wish this mess was over for you but I think you have the possibility of help. The bank isn't going to do anything for a while. They are threatening you because you are a woman and they think you don't know about all this. And if they are truly going to foreclose on you I wouldn't put any more money into it.
It may be a last resort, but losing your home is pretty much bottom of the barrel. Have you considered filing for bankruptcy protection. That should stop the foreclosure in its tracks immediate upon filing. I didn't have a home to save, but it sure got the financial monkey off my back, and it was a great relief. Granted, my credit is in the toilet, but at this point, I don't have enough income to safely use credit anyway, so it's not a biggie. It will go away eventually, and I plan on outlasting it.
Just a thought.