Losing my home

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Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel kinda bad posting as a moderator, but you all have been so supportive in the past so, here it goes...

The bank showed up unannounced today wanting to take pictures inside my property for court on the 18th. I am just really struggling with all of this. They are not really willing to work with me in any way, shape or form. I try talking to them & it is like talking to a brick wall. Plus, I just feel really, really horrible whenever I even think about being behind on my mortgage. The guilt, the shame, the sadness ... they all just seem to be pulling at me trying to suck me back into a deep depression. I am really glad to be on the thyroid medication b/c without it I'm sure I wouldn't even be able to fight at all. But it is so hard not to succumb to the negative, destructive thoughts.

Plus, I feel like my thoughts are a cyclone, circling around from one "solution" to the next -- one second I want to work things out with the bank & feel like they ought to be willing to work things out with me. The next moment I just want them to take away this horrible home so I can be done with everything. Then I remember that if I have to go live with family I will need to quit my temp job b/c it would be too far to drive. Then I think that would be okay b/c I have a really mean boss anyways. Then I think about how much I don't get along with my parents when we have to live under the same roof. Then ... well, I think you get the idea.

I just wish I could click my heals 3 times & wake up from this nightmare. Except it's not a dream -- it's a never-ending horrible reality that just makes me want to hibernate until sunnier days arrive. Oh man, I just don't know what to do. I've got to find a way through this somehow -- and quickly -- or it will destroy me.

Any thoughts? Ideas? Anything?

hugs,
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


CassandraLee
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 7/3/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh Frances.  I am truly, truly very sorry.  I understand the heartache, pain, fear and anger that you have described.  You have always been there for me throughout this same battle as I am just a few steps behind you.  I can't believe (but should) that they actually showed up at your doorstep expecting to be let inside.  These people are cold and unfeeling.  All I can say or do for you now is (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))).

However, please do not feel ashamed of yourself.  I have seen how hard you have worked to try to first get a job and then to try and make ends meet.  I also know about all the endless calls you made to the bank.  After making these same calls myself, I know how they literally toss you around from department to department and no one either answers your questions or provides consistent feedback.

As for any suggestions about your upcoming court date, is there an attorney that you can call that will give you legal advice or a first appointment for free?  Or what about Catholic Charities?  I have used them for advice so far in this process as well.
 
Please know that you are truly not alone, even though you must feel like you are.  I will say lots of prayers for you and send lots of positive support along the way.  And as far as moving back in with your parents, do you have any friends that you could stay with temporarily or can you check the ads for any rooms to rent?  To make ends meet a lot of people are renting out a room from their home.  By any chance is this something you could afford while you are starting to put your life together again?
 
Hang in there sweetie.  I know you don't know how at the moment, but you will make it through this.  I have seen how strong and determined you can be.
 
Cass

Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Cass,
You are so sweet. I just literally have no money. The bank told me it would be helpful if I made another mortgage payment by the end of June. Well, a lot of good that did. The guy shows up at my house 3 days later in preparation for filing their case against me. I'm so frustrated with them!!!! Every person I talk with says something different. On occasion, I have even caught them in a lie. So I have to wonder whether anything they say is true at all.

I just feel so helpless. My current temp job does not pay very well. I am trying to get a renter in here, but it has not been easy to find a decent person. The last roommate stole from me, so I'm trying to be more careful this time. But this is all just such a nightmare & they give you absolutely no time to try to figure anything out. The first person I talked to told me I had 11 months. Now I find out it only took 2 months for them to come after me.

I mostly would be directed to the same department, but I cannot work with a single person so every phone rep tells me something different. I just wish I could walk into a bank & sort this out face-to-face but, even though they promised me that I could do exactly that when they sold me the loan, I now find out that isn't the case. They don't even have computer access to my loan. I'm just feeling really cynical about everything right now. It feels like I am on the fast-track to you-know-where.

I just don't know what to do. :(

Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 7/3/2009 3:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my dear Frances,

I can so identify with what you are feeling.  Eight years ago, I was married, owned my own four bedroom home, was making good money at a high level position for a major defense contractor when the rug got pulled out from me.   Living so many years under stressful situations just caught up with me and I ended up crashing and burning.  I had to go on disability.  I divorced my Autistic husband who had started to cheat on me, sold the house and moved back to my home town.  I lived with my parents briefly, but that was totally unsatisfactory...I just couldn't get along with my mother.  I had no friends to fall back on.  I moved into a two bedroom townhouse, downsizing and putting all my extra belongings into the basement of the townhouse.  I wasn't making it there financially on my disability check, so when the landlord went to raise the rent, I was forced to move into a two bedroom apartment.  Now a lot of my stuff is stashed all over my parents house and I'm constantly having to search for things.  Last year, I was forced to declare bankruptcy because of escalating interest rates and service charges on my credit cards and huge medical costs.  That has been a real bitter pill to swallow.

I used to be middle class, but not anymore.  I'm definitely lower class now and I'm really having a hard time comining to terms with that concept.  I'll never own my own house again.  I'll never be able to be able to afford another vacation which is really tough this time of year.  I can't just go out and buy I new piece of clothing when I need it.  My friends are fairly well-to-do and I totally feel like crap when I can't participate in activities because I can't afford them.  They don't treat me differently, but I get embarrassed when I have to beg off of things because I can't afford them.  My parents still have to cover the overflow of medical bills and insurance that my disability simply will not cover, and any emergency problem that comes up.  Heck, I can't even get married again unless I find a financially independent man that can cover my extra expenses and free up my parents.

Frances, I understand the dispare you feel.  In addition to the financial downturn, I've also had to deal with permanent brain damage from a medication I took several years ago.  I'm never going to get my brain back either.  It's really tough to know you're not as smart as you used to be either.  I'm stuck in the land of "moderate" depression, and none of that "cognitive" crap works for me.  I hope that your situation works it's way out.  I'd check with legal aid, or at least search the web, as there are a lot of non-profit groups willing to lend a hand in these circumstances under the current financial crisis.

Best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you my friend,

Leigh Ann cool


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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/3/2009 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Frances,

Of course you should be posting your problems here and letting us help you.  You are family here and moderators have issues too. (((((((HUGS))))))))

I am so sorry you are in a tough position and I can imagine losing a home, it make the hair stand up on the back of my neck to think of it. mad

I know it sounds corny but tomorrow is another day and you can't see the future so hang in there and see what tomorrow brings. If nothing, see what the next day brings and so on. Don't give up.

I am going to guess that you checked into the foreclosure laws for your state and have done whatever you could to stop the bank.  I hope you will let go of the guilt as the economy is not your fault.  You are working a temporary job.

If there was another city you could move to without going to your parents where might you go?  Could you imagine going to a new city and starting over?  Friends or other relatives that may be able to help you start fresh?

If your boss is a mean person and you can let go of the house starting over fresh may be your route. 

I started over once with 3 small children.  We moved to a different city and I rented a house.  I took a job in a factory.  I would have moved home to my hometown but my Mother did not want me to do that.  So I  did what I could and finally made it. 

Any chance of selling your house and getting some equity?  How about a sale, anything you could sell that may bring in money.  An insurance policy you could cash in or borrow against?

I wish I had a good idea for you as these sound pretty lame. 

Please know that you must keep on fighting your depression. I too am glad you are on your thyroid medication.  :-)

Frances, email me if you ever feel like it.  I am here for you. You are a warm and gentle person and you deserve happiness. 

Peace and hugs,

Kitt

 


 



 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Post Edited (stkitt) : 7/3/2009 4:38:20 PM (GMT-6)


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Cranky,
Yes, that is exactly what I feel like. Just a mounting pile of problems reaching to the sky. It is so frustrating!!!

Kitt,
Thanks so much for your advice. I know the foreclosure laws in my state & they are not breaking the law. I get sooooo overwhelmed just talking with the people at my bank that hard as I try I end up thinking about suicide every time I have to talk to them. It is really not good. I told them that was what the problem was & that I needed a break. I guess the best break they could give me was to send a guy out for a surprise visit. Probably it will be better if I could just lose my home & move on, but that is not an easy thing to accept.

There is no equity in my home. I put 20% down, but due to auctions in my neighborhood, housing prices are down 50%. So there is nothing to be done in that route, or I would have put it on the market long ago. They keep asking for a massive amount of paperwork (one year of pay stubs, medical bills & records, etc., etc., etc.). Most of those I think are not going to be useful to negotiating any sort of work-out (which they have already told me will not happen, but that I am "legally required" to give them all those papers anyways, which it turns out I'm not.).

My loan was bundled & sold to Freddie Mac & there are certain procedures that they have in place that require a limited number of documents. I made a list today & will prepare those docs & send whatever else I can all in a packet to my attorney (which my parents are helping me out with b/c in spite of the fact I am broke, I make too much money for legal aid -- where the cut off is $6.75/hour). So hopefully the attorney can kinda take care of things for me & I will not need to be as directly involved.

I know that tomorrow is another day, but when I am in the throws of depression I just wish there was only today. I know that when things get that bad that I need to stop everything except whatever is needed for me to survive. I've been doing pretty good at stopping, pulling back & regrouping. Unfortunately, while those activities keep me alive, they only make my mortgage mess much worse. So, it's just really tough. Intellectually, I know I need to try to communicate with my mortgage company no matter how upsetting it is, but emotionally it is absolute torment. I tell them how upsetting all the calls are, but they keep calling & it seems like they hate me & want to ruin me.

It's just so hard to deal with all this stuff. It's so hot right now & I am afraid to even open my windows b/c now I am just sure that those people will be outside waiting to take pictures of my home. I don't feel safe. I feel really, really scared. That's maybe not reasonable, but that's how I feel. I feel like a prisoner. I feel trapped. And I don't do well when I feel trapped. I get completely panicked. I feel like these people are trying to kill me (long story, related to past abuse). It's just a really horrible feeling. I try to bring those thoughts under control, but then I hear a noise & I think it's that guy come back a 4th time trying to get into my condo. I'm 99% sure that he just wants to do his job & take the pictures, but that 1% fear is taking over my life.

I hope that makes sense. I know it's not 100% rational, but feelings often aren't, right? Well, mine aren't. So that's why I'm hoping that the attorney can help me so that I can get these people to stop calling me & to start calling my attorney so that I can keep my mind off of all these problems & try to just focus on being healthy.

oh, too much trouble.

peace,
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 7/3/2009 4:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Frances:  It's me, Cass, again.  Just a thought.  I am assuming that the bank does not have a legal right to get inside of your house yet.  Could you call or visit your local police station and let them know you have a man/men outside of your house that are harassing you?  I'm guessing that because they do not have a court order they cannot force their way inside of your home.  Perhaps the police might be able to answer that question.

Cass


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Cass,
That's a good suggestion, but I don't really like the police. They came a two & a half years ago to force me into the hospital. It was not good. I don't trust them. They will probably see how very, very upset I am & how I cannot stop crying & will force me into the hospital.

A little over a year ago, they were at my home b/c of a drug-dealing neighbor & misinterpreted something I said as a threat -- it totally wasn't. I worked it out at the ER & was released, but it was an expensive lesson since my insurance only covers ER visits if you are about to lose life or limb. I didn't want to be admitted, so I was honest about not thinking of harming myself, but that meant that the $350 charge was all on me. The police said that if I hadn't had a history they probably would have let the comment go, but that since I had a history they took it as a threat (all I was saying was that I was not likely to wake up b/c my pain meds put me sound asleep so if they called me later on I probably wouldn't answer -- I didn't want them to worry -- but they took it another way & even after I explained what I meant & they called my PM at home & he explained what I meant, they said it was too late b/c they had already called for an ambulance).

So I just really don't want the police here, esp. while I'm so upset. The only thing that could make things worse than they are right now would be getting locked up in a facility. They take away all my pain meds & I have to lie on the floor screaming in pain and miserable from withdrawals for days until my PM can find a psych to take responsibility for me so I can go to see him & get injections & my meds back. It's the most horrible situation I can imagine & I do not want to go through that again. I know there's a lot of great research going on to transform pharmacological treatment in psych hospitals, but until that change happens, I think the best place for me to recover is my own home.

I will try to calm down a little bit & not worry so much about that creepy guy stalking my home. I'm sure he has hundreds of other homes on his schedule so probably he won't even have time to come back. I'm just trying to figure out if there is a way to hide the rest of my home from view if I open the windows in my LR -- it is so hot in here! I think I've got some extra quilting material at my parents' house. Maybe I can hang it up to block the view of most of my home while still letting air in to certain areas. I am also going to sew a small curtain for the transam window at the top of my kitchen door so if they do get into the building they cannot see into my unit. Oh! I am just so stressed out & creeped out by this whole thing.

I am trying to think about what Kitt said about moving forward with my life. I have been thinking about going back to school to get a master's degree in Peace Studies. I didn't know they offered programs like that, but it seems to align with what I've always wanted to do with my life -- working with inner city youth (& adults, to a lesser extent) to promote understanding & acceptance of people from different cultural, religious, ethnic and economic groups. I am looking into scholarships so that even if I lose all my money I could still move forward with my life. It is hard to think about such things when my life feels so chaotic, but I try to think about what Wishdreamhope wrote about her life turning around & to try to find hope that somehow my life also could start to turn around. I guess we'll see...

so-sad-Frances :(
Moderator -- Depression Forum


asking
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 7/3/2009 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG sister, I am so totally sorry your dealing with that. I can totally identify.... I paid my mortgage, but just today I sent 17 lettters out telling my creditors and others that I was unable to pay them the bills this month, promising to pay soon. I was really just shucking and jiving them, because I have no idea how I am going to pay. Its a situation that will probably turn into credit counseling, and then bankruptcy.... less of course a miracle happens.

Money hardships, banks, creditors.... brutal people and a brutal situation. but please know that you are not alone, and know that you are a good person, despite financial difficulties. No matter what anyone (the brutal ones) says, your value is not measured by who, how or if you can pay. You create tremendous value in this community and the community of those that love you.

Your friendship and support, your time and talents, the good deeds, the care you give to others ... the love you have from and for others .... this is all that matters. Love is all there is.

I wish I had some financial advice, but I do know that when I let go of some stuff, stopped worrying, or at least distracted myself with other stuff so I wouldnt worry so much, things just worked themself out. I know not everything can be like this and that facing homelessness is so tough, so awful.... but know that we are thinking about you and you have our support.

May you stumble over a fat $ack of hundred$ friend
Hang in there... $cott

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Scott,
You are so silly. You made me smile. I am actually pretty good with finances. The problem is that even on a bare-bones budget (nothing but the necessities except for phone & internet which I have been trying so hard to keep b/c it makes job hunting a whole lot easier, but I may have to give those up as well) and yet I still can't make ends meet. I make $1800/month & my mortgage is currently $1225 and my condo assessment is currently $300. The problem is that we keep having all these special assessments because there are a few people who do not ever pay their assessments & the stupid board keeps buying into all of the obvious delay tactics that people tell them to avoid eviction. Then the rest of us end up having to cover them b/c we have no savings, no reserve & cannot pay the heating bills come wintertime. It just irritates me to no end that I am paying for these deadbeats to stay in their homes while I am losing mine. :(
Plus, as a temp worker, I make 25% less money & have to buy my own benefits. So I have a lot less to work with & money was tight as it was b/c of all my medical bills. It's all just so tough & I've been through this long enough to know that there is no magic "fat stack of hundred dollar bills" waiting around the corner to rescue me. ;)
I have been selling a few things on eBay -- nothing that makes more than $10, but every little bit adds up, right? and I have been looking for a roommate for my 2nd bedroom. I have been trying so hard to make things work, but I just get so overwhelmed. Then I stop eating & that is not good -- although it makes the bank happy b/c they say I should not be buying milk or eggs or anything to supplement what I get from the food bank. What a mess!

Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/3/2009 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Frances, I am so very very sorry for all the problems you are having to go through. You said your loan was sold to Freddie Mac.  That is one of the companies that the government is trying to help out with people who can't pay their mortgages.  Please talk to your attorney and find out what the rules are because the government is supposed to be working in your favor to help out this mortgage crisis.  You may need to really push your attorney but it is worth trying.  Can you go directly into your bank and speak with the branch manager?  Sometimes the person highest up in your local bank may be sympathetic and try to help you.  I know how terribly hard this has been on you and I will say prayers for you every day.  I wish there was something I could do for you as you are a very trusted and special friend.  Something is bound to work out for you in some way. Please know how many of us care about you and want you to have this resolved.  Try to take care of you.

Many gentle hugs,

Aurora


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/3/2009 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,
Thank you so much for your support. :) I already tried going to the bank branch & talked to the branch manager. They are useless b/c they only handle checking accounts, not mortgages there. They don't even have access to my mortgage records at the branch bank. It is just stupid.

I have been trying to talk with Freddie Mac, but they say that I have to work it out with my Bank b/c they do not work directly with the public. Hopefully my attorney will be able to help. I just started working with him, so I can't fault him at all for not doing more. He was nice to answer some questions & help me try to help myself so that maybe I would not have to pay to hire him, but that is not working so now I will start working with him on a formal basis.

Thanks so much for your prayers. They really mean a lot to me. :) I am praying for you too.

hugs,
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


Mazfire
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/3/2009 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh Frances, how awful for you! I am so sorry you are having to go through all this. But from what I can tell, you are strong, and you are a fighter. No matter how dark and futile it seems there is always hope.

You are in my prayers-

Maz XX


                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
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Raniah
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 7/4/2009 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Frances,

I’m really sorry. I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you through. I recently lost a home myself, and had to come to grips with the fact that it, and most of my life savings, were gone. I know it’s a hard road, and the ‘powers that be’ seem to make it longer and more painful than it needs to be. I am starting to put my life back together now, and I know it is just a matter of time before you will be able to do the same. In the meantime, do whatever you can to find a few moments of peace in your day. I know it’s awful right now, but believe me, it will eventually get better. Hang in there, and please keep us posted on this. You know you are in my prayers. ((((hugs))))

P.S. If anyone is well suited to Peace Studies, I believe it is you. I hope you will keep this in mind....it sounds like a wonderful choice.
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 


mcjane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/5/2009 2:37 PM (GMT -7)   
New member, long time lurker with Lyme.

Frances, read this in the paper awhile ago and it might help, worth a try. Might even be able to find it on Google, will check.
A woman received a forclosure notice so went to the bank where she originally purchased her mortgage and demanded to see the original mortgage. Of course they didn't have it, it was sold to another holder.

It seems she has a right to see the original papers because her contract was with the bank she did business with, not with whom they sold it to. When the bank couldn't produce them it stopped the forclosure cold. I don't know for how long don't know the outcome, but it did buy her time. Check this out with your lawyer, but it's something he may not know anything about so do some Internet homework yourself.

As for the weirdos hanging around your home they cannot come in unless you open the door and allow them in.

Jane

mcjane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/5/2009 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances...heres the link to the story.....
Not sure how to post a link here, but if it doesn't work just cut and paste but leave out the [] [/]
www.newsobserver.com/business/story/1409682.html

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/5/2009 3:21 PM (GMT -7)   

mcjane and Frances

Awesome, and Frances you posted "My loan was bundled & sold to Freddie Mac".   mc may just have found you a loop hole. I sure hope so.

Prayerfully,

Kitt

 


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/5/2009 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. I have Private Mortgage Insurance because I was just shy of the 20% mark for my down payment. The Bank still holds my loan, but Freddie Mac owns it (i.e., as a 100% investor). That means that in theory I do have some extra options, but Freddie Mac will not talk directly with homeowners, they tell you that you have to work through the bank that manages the loan.

It was a good idea, thanks so much, but unfortunately it doesn't apply in my case. I certainly am early in the process & if I wanted to drag the foreclosure out another 12 months, I could do that, but honestly I just don't have it in me to fight for 12 months & then end up losing my home anyways. Right now I am pouring every last penny into a home that I am going to end up losing anyways & that is just frustrating me to no end.

I wish I could just be done with this & put it behind me. If there were a chance that I could find that fat stack of hundred that Scott referenced, maybe I could make things work, but short of winning the Lotto (which I don't even play :) there really is Zero chance that I could ever get caught up on my loan payments. So I think I need to just figure a way through this nightmare for the next 3-4 months & then say good-bye to my unhappy little home.

The upside is that I haven't been able to move for either work or school b/c I have been tied down to my mortgage. At least now, I will be free to go anywhere in the world. There is a fantastic program at the National University of Rwanda for an MA in Peace Studies with a concentration in managing shared resources (they region is all fighting over polluting the lake & overfishing) and preventing genocide (don't even need to explain that one). It is recognized as one of the premier Peace Schools in the world & I would never get to go if I still had to make mortgage payments. So I think I need to just focus on that & let go of all the mistakes of my past. It's not easy to do (esp. since that guy keeps coming back!), but I know that a brighter future awaits me -- heck, it couldn't be any worse, right? :P

It's just so hard to keep perspective. I really want this all to be over with. It is so hard to get my mind off of it. I am not sleeping very much & I have a hard time concentrating (prob. a mix of sleep deprivation & stress). I have nightmares about this every night, so I know it cannot be healthy for me to try to hang onto my home -- nothing is worth this much stress. On the upside, all of the stress has brought my blood pressure up to high-normal (from dangerously low), but I'd rather figure another way to bring my bp up rather than by getting stressed & scared out of my mind. Oh, the troubles of this world. :|

peace,
Frances

PS- Thanks to everyone for all your sage advice. It means so much to me to be surrounded by people who are so willing to help (goodness knows I'm not getting any help from the Mortgage Company :( I really appreciate all your comments. :)
Moderator -- Depression Forum

Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 7/5/2009 5:01:10 PM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/5/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Frances,

I am so excited about your recognizing  that you can be footloose and fancy free of what is tying you to your area. The  University of Rwanda, that is absolutely awesome and I think it would be great for you.  Your plan to venture into Mercy Studies feels to me like a good idea. You are obviously an advocate for Africa and how lucky they would be to have you working for them.

You are kind and caring and with your history of having to deal with so much throughout your life you have great empathy.  You have my prayers and support and if you do go to Africa I would try to help you out in some way.  :-)

I turned down the opportunity to go with Doctors without Borders back a while ago second degree to my depression and the fear that I would be a burden on the group should I have a stress reaction to being so far from home. Several of our Doctors and nurses went two years in a row.

I am here for you so please do know you have support of so many here in HW.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 

 

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 7/5/2009 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Awe Frances
so sorry your in a rotten situation between mortgage company and Bank! Seems
thought in your recent posts that your considering a move to Rwanda and I sure
hope that you can get that job, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers and take all the comfort you need
wish I had more to offer up to you!!
Lots and lots of soft hugz....
try and keep us posted as things progress..
Finger Crossed!
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Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 7/5/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt & Char,
Thanks so much for your support. I don't know that Africa in particular is where I want to end up. My prior studies were in Latin America, so I thought it would be a good change. Plus, I really like learning languages & hope to study French & Arabic while abroad. It would not be until Fall 2010, as that is the next time the accept students, so we will just have to see what works out. I do have alternative schools in other countries in case it doesn't pan out at my top choice school.

Kitt,
I'm not really worried about the depression holding me back b/c when I am serving others I have always felt 95% better about my life. There is so much going on in Rwanda & the surrounding region that I wouldn't really have time to be depressed. The only thing I am a bit concerned about is having my pain meds. I would probably try to have another Radio Frequency procedure on my back so that maybe I wouldn't need my narcotic pain meds, just the Lyrica. If that doesn't work, I'll need to find out how I could go about getting my meds & securing them from theft while abroad. It is an 11 month program, plus I might go 5 weeks early for the intensive language training.
I know my insurance will not cover a year's worth of my pain meds all at once b/c they are super expensive ($1200/month). I also would need to figure out how to get my thyroid meds, but my PCP said that as long as I can take a year's supply across borders, she can supplement whatever my insurance will give me with free samples.
I'm wondering whether you have any knowledge about how to go about finding those things out. My Pain Mgmt. doctor does volunteer with Doctors Without Borders & he's also gone abroad with the Army. So hopefully he will know, but he's never gone to Africa, so I'm just not sure.
So many things to consider. :) It's all pretty exciting, but so much to try to take care of -- 12 months hardly seems long enough to work it all out. I guess we'll see.

blessings,
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/5/2009 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Frances,  You really need to push your attorney about your mortgage situation.  Even if your bank holds the mortgage, if Freddie Mac bought it then they own it.  Your bank is not being honest with you.  If you listened to news reports a while back the President said there would be help for people with mortgages owned by Freddie and Fannie Mae. If your attorney doesn't know this he needs to do some research. Has anyone suggested to you that you try to do a short sale?  That would be selling the house for less than it is worth but you would be rid of it.  The bank is threatening you because if they forclose they lose all the money.  And believe me I know they don't want to lose that money. I know we are not supposed to endorse anything but if you went to Suze Orman's website you could find out more about this whole situation.  She is really a financial wizard. All you have to do is go on the internet and type in her name and you will find a wealth of advice.  I truly wish this mess was over for you but I think you have the possibility of help. The bank isn't going to do anything for a while. They are threatening you because you are a woman and they think you don't know about all this. And if they are truly going to foreclose on you I wouldn't put any more money into it.

Many hugs,

Aurora


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 7/7/2009 3:20 AM (GMT -7)   
my thoughts and prayers for you are being sent via the webb. keep fightin frances. jamie

CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 7/7/2009 4:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Dearest Frances,

It may be a last resort, but losing your home is pretty much bottom of the barrel.  Have you considered filing for bankruptcy protection.  That should stop the foreclosure in its tracks immediate upon filing.  I didn't have a home to save, but it sure got the financial monkey off my back, and it was a great relief.  Granted, my credit is in the toilet, but at this point, I don't have enough income to safely use credit anyway, so it's not a biggie.  It will go away eventually, and I plan on outlasting it.

Just a thought.

Leigh Ann cool :-)


Basic info:
  • On Disability for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ, stomach problems 
  • Divorced, 44, spawn-free 
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Impacted Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(ten molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) Tubal Ligation/D&C/Uterine Ablation 
  • Current Meds: Prozac, Klonopin, Atenelol, Lortab, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Tramadol, Hydroxizine, Vitamin D, Axert, Zonegran, Seroquel 
  • PROHIBITED FROM ALL NSAIDS
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"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 7/7/2009 4:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Frances,

I am just now getting to your thread. All I can say is I hope that there is some help for you.

You are doing a good job of keeping your mind busy and you have been fiven so much good advice.

Know that we are all here for you and will help you as much as we can.

Did I tell you yet that you are doing a wonderful job as mod? I see how you get pleasure out of helping others.

I wish for you the very best. And remember my email is always open.

Best wishes to you sweetie,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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