Hello 1225345074,I responded to your first post but I do not remember exactly what you posted as it is deleted as you know.
I am thinking that you are a teenager but that may be wrong. I also am not sure what your issues are so if you would like help perhaps you could open up a bit and share what your issues are? You were dx, I think, with depression or bipolar but you are not fond of therpists as you don't trust them.
Trust may be one of the issues you need to work on but again I have no background other then your most recent post.
If you are willing to talk with us I am sure we could offer you some ideas for self help but knowing your issues would help us to interact. :)
With kindest personal regards, Kitt