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bella23
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/10/2009 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone
 
This is Bella again and I am very tired of this depression that I have.  Just when I think I'm on top of things I slowly go back downhill again.  I think about my parents all the time and feel very alone.  I bought myself a little dog and she has helped alot.   Lately the mornings h ave been really bad.  I burst out into tears and keep asking god why has this happened to me.  I bring out my old photos from when I was well and start crying and think whats gone wrong.  I try and be brave but it doesn't always work.  Lately I've had no motivation at all.  This had tension I get drives me insane and sometimes my eyes keep twitching up and down and I get to the point where I can't even open them (nerves).  Thank you for all your advice, I don't know how to thank you individually because I don't know how to do it.  Can someone tell me, but Karen a body massage would be good.  Does anyone else feel like me.
 
BELLA
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 7/11/2009 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bella,

I know that it is hard when you think about how well we have done in the past. But try not to compare. We will always have good and bad days. Just hopefully more good ones. I have been going through the same thing. Since I have been working. The stress gets to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my job in itself. It is just some of the people that I have to work with that get to me.

I try not to let it get me down, but there are days that they do. And yes, a body massage would be nice. I wish I could go some where and be pampered all day. Just can't afford that. So we have to do nice things for ourselves.

Try to focus on the good days. And go with the bad ones. Don't demand a lot of yourself when you are feeling down. Maybe some nice relaxing music would help or a little meditation. You have been doing good and I would hate that to get reversed.

Keep pushing and keep posting.

We are all here for you Bella. And we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/11/2009 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Bella,

In the winter of 2006 I felt exactly like you and I cried and I wondered why me,  and I begged God to make me better. Mornings were always bad for me.  cry

I was in therapy and my husband would drive me.  I tried many different ADs and I finally pulled out of the deep depression but I understand how awful  you feel.

The best thing I can tell you is that you will get better.  If you give up the looking back at the past and how you used to be it will help you. You have a wonderful future but now you have to work harder at being happy and learn how to deal with the feelings of sadness that overcome you.

Time keeps on moving and we all keep changing but change can be good.  I look at pictures of myself and wonder where that woman went.  Then I remember I am the same person just a new version.  I now have to work hard at feeling good and enjoying life.

I know you will find your way if you keep remembering to stay in the moment. 

I am a great believer in staying in the moment which I learned in therapy. We spend much time thinking about what was and what could have been. And we spend much time projecting into the future and wondering about what may happen. This way of thinking is indeed a great way to make much of your life a lot more miserable and limited than necessary. The key to solving this problem is of course to live as much as you can in the only moment that you ever really live in and control. This moment right now.

Bless you my friend and I wish you peace.

Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 7/11/2009 10:01 PM (GMT -7)   
hi bella, yeah we all get down, we all get very depressed. for me it is about the focus on now and the future. sorry you are feeling very depressed. here for you. keep safe, am here for you. jamie.

cme1007
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 7/11/2009 11:40 PM (GMT -7)   
hey bella,
Its hard isnt it. My days just seem to roll into one. Its even harder on your own. Im glad you have a dog to keep you company.
you just have to try and take each day at a time, thats what im trying really hard to do.
XX cme

bella23
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/12/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for your great advice. On top of my depression last night at 11 o'clock I had to ring an ambulance because I developed this sharp pain on my left side above my tummy. I was taken to the Austin Hospital and waited 3 hours before they saw me. Anway I had an x-ray and found nothing so they thought it may be a muscular pain (a severe one at that) they gave me pain killers and send me home by cab at 4 in the morning. I felt very alone throughout the whole situation but managed to get through it.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 7/13/2009 12:04 AM (GMT -7)   
understand bella. glad you are feeling better. i too have been alone in a waiting room for hours, once it was 12hrs. here, u are never alone, okay!!! keep well. jamie. smilewinkgrin

willowtree
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 7/14/2009 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Bella,
my little dog Daisy has gotten me through many depressed nights. Pet, hold and walk your dog....they understand better than people......
I like the note that said keep pushing and keep posting....support is good.

bella23
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 7/17/2009 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   
stkitt said...

Bella,

In the winter of 2006 I felt exactly like you and I cried and I wondered why me,  and I begged God to make me better. Mornings were always bad for me.  cry

I was in therapy and my husband would drive me.  I tried many different ADs and I finally pulled out of the deep depression but I understand how awful  you feel.

The best thing I can tell you is that you will get better.  If you give up the looking back at the past and how you used to be it will help you. You have a wonderful future but now you have to work harder at being happy and learn how to deal with the feelings of sadness that overcome you.

Time keeps on moving and we all keep changing but change can be good.  I look at pictures of myself and wonder where that woman went.  Then I remember I am the same person just a new version.  I now have to work hard at feeling good and enjoying life.

I know you will find your way if you keep remembering to stay in the moment. 

I am a great believer in staying in the moment which I learned in therapy. We spend much time thinking about what was and what could have been. And we spend much time projecting into the future and wondering about what may happen. This way of thinking is indeed a great way to make much of your life a lot more miserable and limited than necessary. The key to solving this problem is of course to live as much as you can in the only moment that you ever really live in and control. This moment right now.

Bless you my friend and I wish you peace.

Kitt


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