ugh so frustrated.

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whathurtsthemost
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 7/12/2009 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
i thought id update again, im still hurting , badly , my friend passed away a couple of months ago, and my heart hurts alot, i cry alot and all i can really do is think about why? why him? i really dont understand life anymore, im hurt and confused. sometimes i wish i was with him so this pain would go away. i need him.

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 7/12/2009 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Mx,
I'm so sorry you are still hurting. Have you reconsidered trying grief counseling? I really think that could help. If you're not comfortable going to a group, perhaps you could just work one-on-one with a counselor.

I saw that Kitt also posted a number of really good books that have helped me in the past when I lost a couple of close friends at a very young age. I know it's hard to get out of missing the person, but I would imagine that your friend would not want to see you so sad all the time. You said before that you feel he is with you still all the time. Maybe that thought could help you to think that it would be okay to plan something fun or relaxing. I'm sure you did some really wonderful things with your friend before & maybe you could do the same sort of thing now & he will just be with you in spirit.

It is not easy to get over the loss of a friend. It does take a long time & many times different activities can remind us of good times in the past & we starting missing the person all over again. For me, what helps is trying to tell myself that I am living my life in honor of that person. A friend of mine just died a couple weeks ago & that is how I think of her. I try to do things that I imagine she would do (buy little gifts for her son, invite her husband out with a group of friends, volunteer at the hospital, etc.). It is so hard to be missing someone, but there are ways to move forward with our lives while still honoring our cherished friends. If you cannot do that on your own, know that there are a lot of other people in your position. That may be a sign of clinical depression, which usually requires therapy, medication or both in order to recover. You might try talking with your doctor to see what s/he thinks about whether you could benefit from anti-depressants or counseling.

I do hope you start to feel a little less depressed. Please let us know how we can support you.

hugs & prayers,
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 7/13/2009 12:38 AM (GMT -7)   
he needs you here.  am very sorry for your loss.
 
healing prayers, jamie

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/13/2009 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   

MX,

Good Morning, I am right here for you.  I am glad you are comfortable coming here and talking with us.  I understand how sad you are feeling.

Try to remember what your friend would have wanted for you...............happiness!  Honor this person by working through your grieving and moving a step closer toward healing each day.

There is another book you may want to look for and I would guess your library has this one.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People? By David Arnold.  This one helped me when our son died and when I experieced the loss of other people close to me.

Take care,
Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


whathurtsthemost
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you all so much for your kind words, i will definetly take into consideration all of the things you guys have said to me. it still frustrates me that he passed away because it wasnt supposed to be that way. he should still be here. my life sucks without him. literally. i need him here. but i know he wouldnt want me to be all depressed and crying all the time. but i cant help it. i feel like i die a little more inside eachday that passes. kitt i will def. look for that book thank you.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 7/14/2009 4:03 AM (GMT -7)   
i too wish my love was here in the flesh, and yes she is forever in my heart. as i say to her:
 
ALWAYS WITH ME, ALWAYS WITH YOU. and yes the song is by j.satriani, it is beautiful, i dedicate to her always.
 
with luv and compassion. jamie

whathurtsthemost
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 7/14/2009 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
im sorry for your loss, Jamie, and thank you. i will def. look up that song. i have a question. does anyone believe that our loved ones that have passed visit us in our dreams? because i see him in my dreams often, and he still and always will give me hope.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 7/15/2009 1:32 AM (GMT -7)   
dreams, thoughts, in meditation i talk to her, in reflection, in my heart in reading her words and just in quiet reflection. and yes in song. jamie. thx. i appreciate your warmth.
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