Feel like screaming

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Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
So I've been going through some rough times these past few months.
I was friends with a girl who only cared about herself.
I was raped when I was 16 I am now 20, and I never talk about it.
I felt strong enough to talk about it with her and she said 'Chele, whats going on in my life right now is much more important!' when all she was complaining about was how her adopted parents are soooo mean to her and treat her like trash. but thats just her looking for attention! IRL her parents love her and cherish her, and shes so selfish to realize it.
 
But she hurt me real bad.
I sometimes look for compliment, just to feel better when I'm done.
Never got them from her.
I write, and I asked her to read it, and she through a fit!
That hurt just as bad.
 
 
I'm no longer friends with her, but everyone was blaming me for her and her ex breaking up, when they were just to immature to be together! it was their fault not mine!
 
 
I want to talk about the rape!
I want to vent!
I want to scream!
 
no one lets me talk about stuff, they said 'its in the past get over it!'
and that hurts me so very much.
 
I'm really a sweet, girl whos sensitive, kind, caring, loving, protecting, and strong.
but people keep wanting to think that I'm their scape goat!
shakehead  
 
 
I jsut really want someone to talk too.

Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow, I should of pre-read this b4 i posted!

Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   
So I've always been everyone's go to girl.
I'm the one my true friends come to and cry.
Because they know I won't judge them.
And I never will.
They know I've been hurt before, and they know that I keep stuff hidden deep down inside.
 
But now here recently, I just don't want to bother others with my problems.
My BFF just moved in with her mom and her mom's psycho boyfriend.
And my other BFF's baby's daddy is a moron and is making her life hell. He's girlfriend if thats what you want to call her, has been letting her son beat up on my friends daughter!
and my other friend has moved far far away and changed into someone I don't even know anymore!
 
 
 
So I've run out of people to talk too.
My boyfriend is always working, or sleeping, or we're just to plain busy to chat about these things.
Things may suck at times, but smile because atleast God still loves you!!


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Micki,

Welcome to our group. I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. Have you considered talking to a counselor or perhaps someone at church or at your doctor's office? I think you really need to find an outlet for all of your pain. Please continue to post with us - we really care.
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 


Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I want to get over my problems before I can truely help my friends with theirs!
I have never turned away people who are in need of help.
Things may suck at times, but smile because atleast God still loves you!!


Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I've gone to a counselor, but money is to tight.
My church is full of snotty rich people who look down at me.
Things may suck at times, but smile because atleast God still loves you!!


Micki09
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
So, ya no comments or anything.
 
Not much a person can really say back.
 
I've been taking steps to get better.
I've forgiven my ex for what he has done to me.
 
I've become more truthful to nate (the ex friend's ex)
and I stopped caring about Cat.
She needs help that I can no longer provide.
 
I'm on vacation with my boyfriend.
 
 
I've been working out to keep myself busy, and not think about it.
And everytime I get upset, i either clean, cook, or workout!
And praying at night to God to make me better.
 
 
Today has just been to stressful for me.
 
I am home sick, and I miss my boyfriend, hes at work.
 
 
 
I'd rather not go and see someone for my problems.
Last time I did that the doctor gave me meds that ruined my life.
I lost my emotions because that doctor was convinced that I was a *****, which i am not.
 
So I feel that I am better off dealing with it my way.
A healthier way.
Things may suck at times, but smile because atleast God still loves you!!


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 7/13/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Micki,

Sorry, I was replying to other posts. I have a lot of catching up to do here at the forum this evening. Please know that I do care, and I was not intentionally ignoring you. (((hugs)))

I think you already have some good coping mechanisms.....keeping busy with productive activities, and especially prayer - that is one that helps me a lot.

I had a bad time with meds, too, so I understand how you feel. You can always feel free to share things with us here.
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 7/13/2009 7:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Micki,

You sound like a very kind and caring person that others go to when they need somebody to talk to. And you are right that you need to help yourself first before you can help others. Now is your time. See if a nearby mental health agency has a program for people who can't afford to go.

I am feeling that you are hurting and need somebody to talk to. Somebody who is a professional, so check that out. And in the meantime we are here for you. We will support you all the way.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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