Really depressed. Leaving

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Taryn50894
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 7/13/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm leaving for college this august. I can't believe that its next month already.

I'm so excited to live on my own, be on my own, and just relax and get out of the unhappiness I live in now. I feel like everythging will get better and be perfect except...along with leaving this life behind, I have to leave my boyfriend behind. I'm so in love with him, and I can't stand the thought of not seeing him for weeks at a time.

We have a very sweet relationship, and I KNOW I have no interest in dating anyone else, or being with anyone else. He says he wants to try and make our relationship still work while I'm away, but I have this feeling that it's going to fall apart. And I seriously will be so depressed. Because I'll know that if I didn't leave to go away to school, we could've been fine.

I'm sure you're all thinking 'get your education, guys dont matter.' and i know that. but this one does. And I'm so scared that I'll regret things.
How can you make a relationship like this work?

hiddentears
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/13/2009 11:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi sweetie;
 
I've been doing it for two years.
 
One thing is you both have to be commited. This is a long-distance relationship, but still a relationship. Meaning that you will both be busy with your lives and the new experiences that you will be facing, but you MUST put time aside to talk.
 
Msn (on the phone), anything works well. Even though you don't see each other, doesn't mean can't have dates or time to spend with each other.
 
You might like to try making plans to visit each other. Pick approximate dates. After you do this, you always have something to look forward to. You can count down together.
 
Send random text messages or photos of you guys having fun (i.e. Frosh week or in a cute outfit you just scored for a good price at H&M) Those are always fun...
 
 
Understand that he may like his new "space" and "freedom" but he'll come back around shortly when he realises how much he misses you.
 
 
Hope this helps a little.
 
Good luck with your first year!!!

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/13/2009 11:52 PM (GMT -7)   
If you guys are the real deal, then distance may hinder your relationship, but it wont destroy it. You need to feel secure in your boyfriends commitment to you- I honestly think that the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal in the situation you are facing. Would you be able to see each other on weekends? could you skype or IM?
 
I promise im not thinking "she doesnt care bout her education, boys come first", no way. Ive been there and done that- the long distance relationship while i was at college, the whole 9 yards. it was hard. i know you are nervous, but i think you are experiencing Anticapatory Anxiety where you are anxious about up-coming changes/variations of your lifestyle.
 
Thinking of you- be strong and stay in touch
Maz XX
                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 7/14/2009 3:44 AM (GMT -7)   
good luck........as i say and know from exp if it is meant to be it will be. be brave. i do wish you guys well....keep the lines of communication up.....a deep and meaningful may help b4 you leave, thus you can both allay your fears, etc. peace. jamie

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/14/2009 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning,

You are off on a new adventure and I wish you the best.  You have already received some great advice and please do remember to be kind to yourself.

Set realistic goals and pace yourself.  This is a whole new experience for you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

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