Hi Hidden Tears,
Welcome to our group. I’m glad you felt comfortable to post here, and I think you will find there are lots of folks who can relate to your feelings. Many of us have both anxiety and depression, and understand how it is to feel those ‘emotional loops’ that you describe.
I was saddened to read the following in your post: “My boyfriend said if I’m not cured soon he’ll have to leave.” Honestly, I’m not sure if someone like that is marriage material. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but if someone makes a lifetime commitment to another person, it really is ‘in sickness and in health’, and I can’t help but wonder what he would do if you were to become ill with something else – something physical, perhaps. Would he only stay with you if you were well? That is no kind of commitment, in my opinion.
I think the fact that you are in counseling and taking the meds your doctor has prescribed are both very good things. It takes courage to face our problems and do something about
them, and it sounds to me like you are on the right path. It takes time to learn how to manage anxiety and depression, and it sounds like your family and your boyfriend don’t understand that. It’s not something you can change overnight, but things will improve over time with your continued efforts and help from your counselor and doctor.
Please talk to your counselor about
your feelings re: having children. It’s important to get all the things that are concerning you out on the table for discussion. Also, know that we are all here to support you, and will help in any way that we can. Please come back and post some more with us as you feel up to it. (((hugs)))
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.” ~Pliny the Elder