I am new here and I'm not really sure how to begin this.
I have a nice home, a beautiful son and an extremely loving partner. But I feel like I am alone.
I called my fiance today. He was on his lunch break and couldn't really talk and eat at the same time. So after a ten minute conversation, I hung up on him. Then I sent him horrible text messages telling him that I didn't need him, that I wasn't important to him and worst of all, that I hate him.
But I don't. I just feel so neglected and alone. I know he loves me and he does anything for me and I love him too. I love my son more than life. But sometimes I just feel that I'm not enough. That I'm useless and lazy and ugly and would be better of taking a long long nap.
I think about that alot more than I used to.
I cry alot too. A sweet story in a magazine or a movie on television about anything. I cry all of the time. But only when I am alone.
When they are home, I am angry. Or frustrated. Or both.
I never seem to be able to be happy around them.
I don't eat but I am gaining weight which makes me feel worse.
I don't want to feel like this. But how do I change? What do I do?