how to Move forward

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Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 7/16/2009 2:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone,
 
After splitting with my ex who I loved a lot about a month ago, I am struggeling to get past it and move forward.  I have been on a couple of dates and spent a lot of time with my friends, but I just miss him so much and it hurts me so much that he doesn't love me enough to be with me. I just don't know how to move forwards?!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


boo32
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/16/2009 4:50 AM (GMT -7)   
hi,
A month isn't very long to get over splitting with a loved one. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be upset for a while. In a way you have to grieve, which is harder as the person is still around. You have to deal with that person moving on to.
Maybe give yourself more time before dating, allow yourself to rediscover things you may have forgotten about yourself, you're doing all the right things. Keep busy with family and friends.
And remember, everything heals with time....but even time takes time.
Take care, Boo
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.
GAD


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/16/2009 5:32 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello Li,

I am sorry to hear you split up as I know that can be very painful.  You are doing the right thing by going out with friends and making sure you are taking things one day at a time. 

Please take things slow and you will find that each day may be a challenge but you will overcome the sadness.

Gentle Hugs to You,
Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
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"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 7/16/2009 9:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Li,

You have gotten some very good advice. Be good to yourself as you are a very special person.

Best wishes to you Li.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 7/16/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Li,

I agree with what Boo said....a month isn't very long, especially when we're talking about a significant relationship. You need to give yourself time and space to grieve this important loss. Think about the things you would do to comfort a loved one during a time of grief....and do these things for yourself. Take lots of hot baths. Get as much rest as you are able. Try to go out for walks or get some exercise and fresh air when you can. Treat yourself gently.....get a massage, eat nourishing, comforting foods, wear soft clothing, and get lots of hugs from your friends. Think about trying something new.....take an art class, learn a craft, or try some volunteer work. If you find you are really struggling with the sadness, consider reading some books about the grieving process, or maybe go for some grief counseling. There is no specific timeline for these things.....they seem to take as long as they take, and can differ from person to person and relationship to relationship. Just remember you deserve lots of love and care, and make sure you give yourself just that. (((hugs)))
 
Moderator, Depression Forum
 
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.”  ~Pliny the Elder

 

 

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