Hi Raniah, Well, I didn't make it to the meeting. I was just really tired and didn't have the energy to go. I know I should have tried harder but I didn't have it in me this time. I am hoping I can make it next month. I haven't been on HW much lately as my asthma has been bad and I haven't felt well. My a/d med seems to be helping a little as I am not feeling so down as before. Thanks for posting me and for caring.
Thanks for your reply, Karen. I was feeling better this week but my asthma kicking up is not helping me. I am starting to feel down again, just this afternoon. I think it is because it is the weekend and I have nothing to do as usual. It's hard for me when I am cooped up in my house all day and night. When my asthma is bad I have to stay home and keep calm and not be active. That gets me down because I get so tired of these walls. I think about others who are out and having fun and I wish I had more friends so I could go out and be busy. I had a bad experience yesterday that has really thrown me off. I took my dog to the groomer and he was not quite ready so I decided to drive past my childhood home. At first I thought it was gone because I didn't see it as I was coming down the street and then I stopped in front and there was the address right in front. The house had been completely remodeled. My father built it and I lived there for 20 yrs. It was a beautiful red brick with ivy and now it is painted white which looks awful on the brick and the windows were all redone with black trim. I parked and went closer to look at it and just cried. It feels as if someone has just wiped out my childhood, even a whole part of my life feels like it doesn't exist anymore. I know it has been 40 yrs since I lived there and it is true that everyone is either tearing down or remodeling houses. It was just so sad for me. I know I have to get out tomorrow even for an hour because I will lose my mind if I am in the house all weekend. I start to do better and I just seem to regress. And I can't cry or get too upset because that makes my asthma worse. Anyway, that is an update on how I am doing. I hope the next time I will have better news.
Thank you Raniah. I am sorry you aren't yourself either. It is stressful. I am so sorry to hear about your family home too. For me it was such a shock. But I have many pictures and albums of the way the house was so I do have my memories at least. It is hard to let go of the past but I think the only way to get beyond it is to keep looking forward. I just wish I had something exciting to look forward to. But who knows, I am trying to stay positive with the hopes of something good happening. At least I know Xmas will be the same for us now that the former fiance is no longer in the picture. I am going to start a round of prednisone tomorrow and that will help clear up my asthma. So if I leave any strange replies or posts its because I will be climbing the walls! Take care and hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Hi Raniah, Well I have started on the prednisone and I can tell I am breathing a little freer today. I can tell I am starting to feel edgy already so four or five days of this is going to be hard as the effects get worse. Inspite of this I don't think I have the energy to go out today even though my son would drive. I don't think I can manage to even get dressed. It is going to be a difficult weekend being in as I was in all day yesterday and couldn't stand it. Maybe I can just throw on some clothes and a hat and go with him in the car. At least it would be a change of scenery. I have some books to read but I am having difficulty concentrating. Wish I could get absorbed in my book, at least it would let the time pass. Thanks for always listening to me.
Hi HW friends, Well I managed to take a bath and threw on some clothes and my silly hat and my son and I did go out. We had a few errands to do and just driving around has helped me. I don't feel so closed in or desperate. I picked up a few things I needed at the pharmacy, just some toiletries but even getting a few things made me feel better. Also, my prednisone seems to be kicking in although I am really shaky from it. I have had to retype so many of these words. It's nice to be able to breathe better again. Just wanted to give an update that I am doing OK at this point. Have some shows on TV that I want to watch tonight. Will probably be up half the night as it is so hard to sleep with this med but i'll take breathing over sleeping any day!