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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/21/2009 6:28 PM (GMT -6)   

This is my first ever post on a website, so not sure how it works, but here goes.

I have recently been feeling deeply unhappy, as well as feeling constantly exhausted (despite lots of sleep), getting terrible achne having never had it before, and generally feeling awful. A lot of the time I feel I just want to go to sleep in order to escape being conscious and thinking about things.

Having looked at other people's posts, I realise that I really have fairly minor problems. I'm trying to be a classical singer and the opportunities I've been given so far have been just amazing. So many people in my position would feel happy and be capable of making practical steps to build on this, so I know that feeling miserable is in my own head and not circumstantial.

I've recently moved back home and am living with my family plus grandmother and disabled aunt, so things at home are quite stressful, and I seem to be the one left dealing with everything my parents dont have time for. I think the stress they are experiencing is getting to me, especially as they have started drinking a fair bit, to the extent that my mum has thrown glasses at the wall and once emailed a guy she thought was good looking from my email account pretending to be me. I guess I feel that my own aspirations are totally swamped by all this.

I also feel totally lost about who I am and where I am going, and what career I should pursue (I have a second option other than singing), and the pressure of having to decide makes me feel physically sick.

Lastly I feel totally let down by a lot of my friends and by any relationships I have had in the past year and feel totally alone. There isnt really anyone I feel I can talk to. Its got to the point where I feel desperate for someone other than a family member to pick up on the fact that I'm feeling so depressed, but I dont really feel i can just bring it up with people. In particular there have been 2 men in the last year who I have really cared about and both have switched off any interest in me, and I've been repeatedly ditched by people. I cant understand why I'm not good enough, and the feeling of loneliness when there is nobody who particularly cares about you is totally crushing.

I know that all of this is quite minor, but none the less this is really affecting my life. I've found myself drinking alone some evenings, and have taken up smoking, and quite often I just lie down and go to sleep to switch things off. I really need to just snap out of it and get on with making a success of my life, but I cant seem to, and my inability to achieve anything at the moment just makes me feel worse.

I just feel I have no one to talk to and desperately need to have some friendly reassurance and advice and somehow get over feeling like this.


New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/21/2009 6:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I just thought I should add - I also have terrible problems sleeping where I wake up in the middle of the night having a panic attack where i actually hallucinate and see horrific things in my room. I used to get it quite rarely, but recently it has got much more frequent and is really wearing me out and making things worse. I guess this is just another way things are affecting me

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/21/2009 6:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell.  You have come to a great place to find other people who know where your coming from and what your going through.
You have a lot of stress going on in your life with your family and that is most likely contributing to your feelings of depression.
Please know coming here is a wonderful and courageous step. You are voicing your fears so you know what they are.

May I suggest you make an appointment with your PCP and tell him/her how you are feeling. Consider going to counseling as it is something just for you and you may find great comfort in a one to one situation. Be your own best advocate.
I know you will be hearing from some of our other wonderful members and they will have advise for you too.
Do stick with us and know we care.


Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18553
   Posted 7/22/2009 1:12 AM (GMT -6)   
dear lilac.
hey, your situation is effecting you. from what you have said you are under a lot of stress. i agree that seeing your doc is very important, you may be refered to people who can be of help, without any breaches of confidentiality. worried about some of your symptomology, thus i strongly suggest that you seek assistance soon. keep well. jamie.
 the quicker you receive help, the better the prognosis - things wll and do evolve in time, thus take some time for yourself to get some things soughted, then things will definately become clearer. jamie

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 7/22/2009 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   

Please talk to your Dr. and they are not minor problems to you are they?  Also, please, please leave the alcohol alone.  It is so easy to get to a bad place with that stuff before you know it, especially if you are using it to escape as I did before I realized I really had a problem and needed help.  Be willing to accept help, realize we all need help along the way and it is by no means a sign of weakness, but rather that you are smart enough to know when things are not right.  Is there a way you can support yourself without living at home?  It sounds like it is not a nuturing situation.  We do not get to pick our families, unfortunately.

Take care of yourself, be willing to accept help and I hope you feel much better very soon.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/22/2009 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Youve been given great advice, i would follow through with a doctors appointment asap. I am sorry you have had periods of hallucinations- this happened to me when i was first put on a very old fashioned anti-depressant at the age of 15- (so 14 yrs ago). for nearly 6 weeks as i waited for th AD's to kick in, i hallucinated, day and night. however what i saw was not distressing and i had a sense of peace. i wasnt scared, and it finally went away.

I wish you all the best and hope you stick with us

Maz XX

                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, IBS, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, GERD,
Low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium.  Codeine Phosphate. Phenergan. Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/22/2009 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   

hi and welcome,

I'm sorry to hear you're going thru such a rough time, it can't be easy. Any problem that is effecting you is YOUR problem. What brings me down could be completely different, the important thing is that you get help. I would definately consult with a doctor and rule out any medical issues.

The situation you're in is stiffling your life at the moment and certainly not one that is going to nourish your singing career. Did you you have to move home for financial reasons or look after your folks. There comes a time in your life when it's ok to walk away, and if you can it may be the start of a great thing.

I know i have a lovely house, husband and decent job, but there are days when i hate my life sooo much, for no reason at all, so don't feel guilty about having these amazing singing opportunities that you think SHOULD make you happy.

You need to get help, you're just stuck right now and need to find a way to move forward. Try to get help, from a counsellor or doctor.

Your career won't last long if you drink and smoke either so as soon as you quit those you're starting to make a change.

Good luck and we hope to hear from you soon.



BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.

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