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Neruda
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/29/2009 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, I'm new to this site and have been doing some research. It's very comforting to know I'm not alone in this battle. Maybe someone can give me some insight. I've been married for a little over a year and I've come to a point of panic. My husband has been unemployed for almost a year now (through no fault of his own) and I was blessed enough to be able to take care of us financially but I think in the process he fell into a depression. Now I can understand being scared or worried, but this fear has crippled him and I’m scared. Then, I lost my job, and its been three months. While I was working, I was also coming home to cheer him on. Telling him how everything was going to be ok. Right now, I have no juice left... I don’t feel like I can really give anyone a pep talk. Last night was the culmination of it all. We got into a big fight, he was feeling really low, so was I... but he admitted to having suicidal thoughts when this whole ordeal began. I'm tired of going around in circles. Whenever I express how I feel we go into this whole thing about him feeling worthless. I don’t know how to help him or myself at this point. And I truly don’t remember the last time he seemed happy. He always doubts himself, feeling like he's not good enough. I'm always tired... I've been in bed for about three days now. Maybe we're both depressed? Should I hold back my feelings until I feel he's better? Can someone become depressed that quickly, or was it there all along? If we don’t have the money for professional help, where do we turn?


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 7/29/2009 1:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Neruda

I understand your situation all too well. I've been unemployed for about 3 months now, and it is very depressing. I recently had a long talk with my bf about how I feel like I failed, and I told him it's not something that he could fix, or say anything to make me feel better...it's more something I have to deal with and work through. I'm learning myself how to deal with the feelings I have, and it's important for me just to be able to get my feelings out and have someone listen. I think you should try to talk and see how you can help each other now that you're both home not working. Maybe you can be there and work through things together, and try to pull each other up in the situation you're in. It's a hard situation, and really you just have to learn as you go how to deal with your feelings and thoughts. If you could talk based on the premise that you need to help each other, maybe you can help get things better for both of you.

Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

((((((((hugs))))))) and well wishes!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed


Neruda
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/29/2009 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you so much Becky...
I'm going to use that, maybe if he sees I'm there to help him and he helps me, we can pull each other of this hole.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 7/29/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Neruda,

Hello and welcome to healing well. You might also want to check with social services and see what they have to offer in the line of mental health. There are often programs that help when your income is low. So if I were you, I would check into that. Also there might be a program right within your local mental health program. So that is another alternative for you. Also your local church might have something to offer.

Please keep posting here too. There are many wonderful members with lots of advice. So stay in touch with us.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 7/30/2009 1:13 AM (GMT -7)   
wishing you guys all the best. sounds like with help that things will resolve themselves so you can go forward together with your lives. with compassion. jamie

Neruda
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/30/2009 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you everyone for the support and great advice...
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