I am 20 years old and my goal in life is to play and create music. I am self taught which I started doing when I was 14. I want to go further, so I have decided to change my major to music. I am really excited to be taking my first music classes this fall, however, I am also a little intimidated by the other students because most of them have had lessons and have been playing for way longer than me. I keep telling myself not to compare myself to anyone else and just try to progress as much as possiable. So here is my problem: I can't seem to bring my self to pick up my instrument at all, not even just for fun. I keep finding excuses to avoid playing all the time. I feel so guilty because I know that I am just setting myself back, but I can't do it. This has created so much anxiety that I have been constantly oversleeping, eating and missing work. I have never felt like this before, I feel like I have no control over my actions anymore. I just want to know why I feel this way and what I can do to get back in my groove.