Feel like I'm dying

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red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 8/5/2009 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes I have random thoughts that I'm dying or that I sort of want to.
I don't pay much attention to them but maybe I should. I'm seeing my Pdoc regularly
and am on Cymbalta 60mg for 6 months.

I just don't feel right anymore. Nothing is very exciting.
I feel bored and anxious. I'm 7 months sober so that's good. There's
nothing in my life to be depressed about except maybe my job but I'm taking steps
to improve that situation. I just feel blah all the time and I have trouble making
conversations with people and concentrating.

Loving Husband
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 8/5/2009 6:11 PM (GMT -7)   
How is your life outside of work?? do you go out with friends?? have a significant other?? Exercising is a great way to make you feel better and more positive outlook..

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40569
   Posted 8/5/2009 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
You might need an adjustment in your medication or something. I would talk to your doctor and see what they say.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 8/5/2009 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone. Yes I'm married and have a great relationship.
I don't exercize because it's 110 outside...I used to walk but it's too hot.
I'm a massage therapist and the spa is very slow so I sit alot at work
hoping a client will come in and hoping they won't bc I'm so low on energy.
I'm due back at the dr in 3 weeks. We'll see what he says.

Most of all thanks for your replies. I needed to know someone cared.
I was so afraid no one would write back and I just needed a little love.
Thanks so much for your time. I'll get through this...I know I can...tomorrow
will be a better day. :-)

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 8/5/2009 10:49 PM (GMT -7)   
it is a great step that you are reaching out. here at hw and within therapy. we are always here for you, well depending on time zones and stuff! with everlasting compassion. jamie

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2279
   Posted 8/5/2009 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Red,
Maybe you can try to find something to keep your mind active in between clients. I know I tend to get a lot more depressed when I don't have enough to do. At my last job, I worked in investments & as the markets got worse & there was less & less work, everything just seemed so dark all the time. There wasn't much positive going on -- but there isn't really anything more positive going on in my life right now, the only thing that's changed has been that now I have a new, temporary job that keeps my mind busy during the day.

Maybe you could take a class, join a book club, do some quick yoga/pilates/strength training, take up a hobby, etc. that you could work on in between clients. That way, you're not waiting around, letting your mind stir up trouble for you. :)

Just a thought. I know it helps me, so hopefully you will find it helps you a bit as well. I sure hope you start getting more clients soon. I'm sure a lot of people miss coming to see you & are eagerly waiting for the economy to turn around so they can go back to getting massages. btw -- maybe getting a massage for yourself could even help a bit. I know the osteopath I sometimes see has taken on a student. The student works for free & it gives my doctor a chance to try his hand at teaching (which also gave him a break from the physical part of the job). In between appointments, the student could ask questions or, even better, practice on the osteopath (who was eventually very happy to eventually have a free source of regular massages from someone who was trained to give massages exactly the way he did them himself :) Just a thought -- I don't know whether it would work for you or not, but I thought I'd mention it in the hopes that if you can't copy it, perhaps it would spark another idea that would work for you.

take care & feel better,
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 8/6/2009 5:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Such a positive outpouring...thank you all so much. I appreciate
all the solutions to the down time at work too. I do read but find
reading to be difficult now so perhaps yoga and stretching might
be good...also I could take my watercolors to work and paint.
Thanks for all the great support!

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 8/6/2009 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
keep strong red, we are with you. with loving compassion. jamie

Brandon T
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 8/6/2009 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Water colors is great. art is one of the most perfect ways to express yourself.

from one artist to another.
-Brandon Thompson


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40569
   Posted 8/6/2009 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I am impressed that you take your water colors to work. I am an artist too. I paint on canvas with acrylics. So I understand that need to express yourself.

I just wanted to say that I am proud of you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 8/6/2009 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   

Me, I can't draw a stick figure!  Red, you just sound bored.  Maybe you do need a med adjustment, but you need fun too.  We all do, even if it is silly.  It is really hot were I live too, so I drag my butt out of bed at 5:30 in the morning when it is cool and I walk two miles everyother day.  When I do not do that, I can tell a big difference in how I feel.  I am bored too, and I gave up drinking ( I slip once in a while and Jamie straightens me out) but I realized I was drinking after work out of bordem.  I can make hand made quilts, draft my own patterns, but I have done this for so long, it is no longer fun.  Must find something fun, yet legal ha ha, to do.

Crazy Gem turn


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40569
   Posted 8/6/2009 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gem,

Hand made quilts. That is hard as far as I am concerned. It must be really challenging. If I were you, I would continue. I bet that you can come up with some really cool patterns. I wish that I could do that. I always start saving the material, but never do it. I do like to sew, but am not very good at it. I do a lot by hand, but still am not that good at it. I really think what you do is cool. It seems a lot of depressed people have special talents. Some of us just have to discover them.

Take care, have a great day. It is hot here today too.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2279
   Posted 8/6/2009 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Red,
I am glad you were able to think about doing watercolors. Maybe after you complete a few you will consider posting them for us to see. I'm sure others would like to see them as well. Regardless of whether they are technically masterful or not, I love seeing art as it is an opportunity to think, see & feel new things. What a great plan!

Gem,
I think it's fantastic that you make hand quilts. I don't have much patience for that, so mine are by machine. But I've been thinking about trying to do more hand quilting. There is a quilting & knitting group that meets during lunchtime once a week at my office, so I've been trying to work up the courage to go out & meet new people (plus, that would probably re-energize me to finish some of my half-completed projects) :)

peace, all,
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 8/7/2009 5:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Frances,

Thanks for the reply.  I am glad to know I am not the only one that has "unfinished projects".  I started a star quilt in 1979, a star so big that it would cover the whole bed.  I finished the top but I do not have a big quilt frame so I have never finished putting it together.  I do alot of wall hangings and baby quilts, since I do one block at a time and then stitch them together or use striping to connect them and border them.  I think the reason I kind of lost interest is that I work in an office all day and on my time off, I want to be outside.  I feel best when I am out doors, unfortunately this week-end it is suppose to be about 100 degrees here, so.........

Take that quilting class.  My favorite pattern is called "Drunkards Path" you can make 27 different patterns out of this one and they all look totally different.

Gem

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