Maybe some wholistic treatments combined with a suitable level of meds?
P.S Karen is right: you are NOT a failure
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. I see you have met some of our great members and recieved some good advice.
I like Maz's suggestion re treating the "whole person". I agree with the others and hope you do make an appointment with your physician for a tune up.
Meditation is a good way to work on overcoming your depression. Here is a quick course in Meditation:
Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people or by the telephone.Sit quietly in a comfortable position.
Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you'll be meditating.Commit yourself to a specific length of time and try to stick to it.Pick a focus word or short phrase that's firmly rooted in your personal belief system. A non-religious person might choose a neutral word like one, peace, or love. Others might use the opening words of a favorite prayer from their religion such as 'Hail Mary full of Grace', "I surrender all to you", "Hallelujah", "Om", etc.Close your eyes. This makes it easy to concentrate.Relax your muscles sequentially from head to feet. This helps to break the connection between stressful thoughts and a tense body. Starting with your forehead, become aware of tension as you breathe in. Let go of any obvious tension as you breathe out. Go through the rest of your body in this way, proceeding down through your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper back, middle back and midriff, lower back, belly, pelvis, buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word or phrase silently as you exhale.Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say, "Oh, well," and gently return to the repetition.Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm. After you finish: Sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.Plan for a session once or twice a day.
Again a warm welcome to the Depression Forum and know you have friends here.