Getting pretty anxious for the new schoolyear

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enWayen
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Date Joined Apr 2008
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   Posted 8/17/2009 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Heeja everyone,

Tension is building steadily as the new school year approaches. As some of you might know, I am going to try again this year, this time an environmental based study in my home town. This study fits me way better than medicine, which I tried last year. At least, I hope :-).

Coming Friday the introductory time begins. I think I won't participate in that, as it is way too stressful for me to deal with at the moment. But I hope to go one day when you meet your new classmates and hear a couple of things that might be handy. But even that is a bit uncertain at the moment. Maybe I should just force myself this time, as it will probably something I won't regret.

Anyway, if it is OK with you I'll keep you all updated, and maybe you provide me with a little bit of support or advice. I just hope my classmates are nice and that there are some potential friends among them. That would make things a lot easier I guess.

Well, that's about it, I hope everything is going well for you :-).

All the very best!

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


Mazfire
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 8/17/2009 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
enWayen said...
Heeja everyone,


Coming Friday the introductory time begins. I think I won't participate in that, as it is way too stressful for me to deal with at the moment. But I hope to go one day when you meet your new classmates and hear a couple of things that might be handy. But even that is a bit uncertain at the moment.Maybe I should just force myself this time, as it will probably something I won't regret.
.


Erik

Erik- I highlighted and underlined the most important part of what you said- you should GO! I doubt you will regret it, and it will make the transition into a new school year much easier. I think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Dont let doubt and fear rule your life! Take the new school year by the horns and show it who is boss!
We are all here for you. I understand- between 2 university degrees it took me a total of 6 years, but i got there!
 
Maz XX
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THE HAPPY TURTLE
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/17/2009 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
if ya need some tips, happy to help. currently back in the academic circle. good with words, writing etc. jamie

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/17/2009 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Erik,

I too think that you should go. You can always leave if you get uncomfortable or stressed. But this might be something that is important to your class too. So give it a try. You migth make some friends there too.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/18/2009 9:00 AM (GMT -7)   

Erik,

I think you have a bit of anticipatory anxiety.  Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety one experiences before starting a challenging  activity.  Most often, anticipatory anxiety is a lot higher than what you actually end up experiencing.

I believe  you will do well and you won't know if you don't take that leap of faith, that belief in yourself that you can do this.  Just take the step out the door and stay in the moment..........no worrying about how things happened in the past or anticipate the worse case scenarios.

You have my support and you can always come here and talk with us.  We are happy to help in anyway we can.

Wishing you the best,
Kitt


 

Kitt,
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bluebird2
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 8/18/2009 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm actually in a very similar place to you. I too am about to resume school. I too am scared a bit.

You do it, and tell me that it was Ok. =)

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/18/2009 10:23 PM (GMT -7)   
hey, did i mention that i have returned to study? (it was 8 yrs ago that i stopped) , i am managing, yesh first day gitters....but that passed. you guys will be okay. if ya ned support make sure you see your peer support person. go get em'. jamie

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/19/2009 2:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Heeja!

Thanks for the support everyone :-)! Yea, it's getting pretty close now. But I have a good feeling about it, think I will do fine. At least, if the fellow students are a bit OK. But I think they're all idealist, just as me, so that will be fine.

Bluebird, when does your school starts? Mine 2 September, and coming Monday I have an early introductory day.

Take care everyone!

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/19/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
enjoy the intro. and all the best, i have heaps of confidence that you will be alright. cheers, jamie

bluebird2
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 8/19/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Mine is September 8th.

Gosh, I'm scared.

I have to balance my depression with ADHD, and the last few days have been horrible. I mean I was really getting on top of things, actually working for the first time in several years, and I can't run out of steam now. But now I just feel this sensation of deadweight... Sigh!

I'm sure it'll work out OK for you. Keep us posted! =)

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/20/2009 5:25 AM (GMT -7)   
hey bluebird, you will be ok too. go with the flow my friend. kind regards jamie scool scool scool

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/22/2009 9:00 AM (GMT -7)   
2 days remaining :-)

Hopefully, the next couple of days I will be able to keep the same mood as I have now, which is pretty good. At last, it is beginning to sink in that I don't need to have the expectations I have now about myself. I am having problems finding the motivation to go, and that is OK. Others might not have that problem, but they are different. Maybe I will finally be able to lower the expectations I have about myself, which are pretty darn high.

Thanks again for all the support, it helps a lot :-)

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/23/2009 2:45 AM (GMT -7)   
erik, i have only positive vibes to send. be you, enjoy the experience, learn to learn and have a bit of fun also. it is you that matters. some nerves are good, others will be facing similiar situations. i wish you well. jamie

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/23/2009 2:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the kind words Jamie :-)!
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 8/23/2009 2:57 AM (GMT -7)   
cool bananas!!!:-)

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/23/2009 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Lemon Ice shocked shocked shocked

One night left rolleyes
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/23/2009 1:40 PM (GMT -7)   
And counting.

Relax Erik, this will be a piece of cake.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/31/2009 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej,

Haven't been around for a while, and I think it's time for an update. The study will begin coming Monday, and the last week I've been extremely anxious. Unlike anything before. I could break out in tears any second for no apparent reason, and nothing, in like nothing, would be fun or good to do. Everything felt bad. I had a really hard talk with my shrink and she thinks it is better for me to enrol in a daycare program, because she doubt starting a new study will ease my worries, and that it is time to try and change the foundations.

But as I said before, I still want to try and study. One second. The other second I want to be in a quiet forest to be at peace, runaway from all the stress here. Something needs to change, but I am just in constant doubt how to do that.

Coming Thursday my shrink, parents, and I have a meeting, so I guess things will be a lot clearer after that.

Take care everyone,

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


bluebird2
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 8/31/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
enWayen:

It's hard for me to hear things are going so hard for you. I know it's hard to find the strength and the world can feel like it's falling in on you. But you can do it!

(I'm sure you've done this already, but have you considered nutritional/physical causes of your depression? This article goes into the details and offers some ideas for treatment resistant depression that might be useful.)

Please keep us updated. I sincerely hope that you make it back to school and think you can do it, albeit based off the little I know of you.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/1/2009 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Bluebird,

Thank you for the kind words. As mentioned before, Thursday will in all probability be decision day. But both my therapist and my parents agree that it probably is better not to start a study this year. And it seems true. Right now, there is something wrong inside my head that needs to be fixed. And a study can begin next year or this year, it doesn't really matter.

You know that feeling that you aren't in the mood for something you used to enjoy? At the moment I'm never in the mood to do stuff I used to like. Everything is hard to do, even harder to continue with, and gives no joy or satisfaction whatsoever. Furthermore, I have no concentration and no motivation, so that would add up to the already big pile of stress that is study.

It sounds like I have already decided, and I think I have. There is no point in starting a study besides the pressure I feel from inside to do it. And I think the world is better of with a problem free version of me than someone who is stressing all the time while trying to keep up with a study.

But I guess I will make it back to school one day :-). Right now, there are more important things to deal with though. Everything we do is done that way because, conscious or unconscious, we are trying to improve our happiness. At least, that is what I believe. And if so, there is no point in not trying to improve my happiness directly. On the other hand, maybe something will fit in and break that wall I am facing now when trying to study. But how can we know?

I'll try to make some schedules for the next days. Maybe some structure will help. Right now, I am wandering around the house like a zombie from time to time, and that has never been the idea.

Have a wonderful day everyone,

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


bluebird2
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 9/1/2009 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hope I'm not monopolizing the conversation, guys! =)

That said, enWayen, I very much understand what you're talking about. I'm not that eloquent, but believe me, I have some understanding of what you're feeling.

It can get better. It will get better. Hang in there, and keep experimenting with your meds, your diet, your exercise, whatever. There is something out there that will help you.

It might be the right decision to take some time off from studying. It's a hard decision, but you ultimately know in your heart what is best. Just make sure you return to your education. It's incredibly easy to let it slide, and the benefits are just too great to pass on.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/3/2009 6:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Heeja,

This morning my parents, psychiatrist, and I had a talk about what to do. Conclusion: This year I will go into a daycare program, and hopefully that will have some positive results. In the meantime I will try to find stuff to do. I will go back to piano lessons, and probably will take a home course study on philosophy or so. Besides that, it is time to harvest in the vineyard of my uncle, so that will take up the necessary days as well.

Thanks again for the support. It didn't turn out to be that what I thought it would be, but I think this is a better choice. Chances were too high to go and try a study, and some things definitely need to change now.

Take care everyone :-)

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 9/3/2009 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Erik,

The vineyards sound beautiful. I am picturing you taking care of the vines and doing waht all you do. I have a few grapevines. They have grapes for the first time this year.
You said that you are having trouble doing the things that you use to do. How about trying something new. Something that you have never done before. Maybe you can find something with nature to do that you would like. You weem to love nature so much. It is so peaceful.
I have been picking blackberries lately. We go deep into the woods. Last year, we heard coyotes howling. It was really cool.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/3/2009 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Erik, I want to wish you the very best with whatever decision you make for the coming school year.  I hope your meeting goes well and that you come to a resolution that works the best for you.  Sending very positive thoughts to you.  And thank you for answering my post and for your encouragement.  I am taking things slowly and trying not to project into the future.  I have gotten through many illnesses and I will get through this. I have put my trust in God and that is what sustains me from day to day.  And I will surely enjoy the good times to the fullest.  Take care, I am thinking of you.

Hugs,

Aurora

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