Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/22/2009 10:08:49 AM (GMT-6)
As the wife of a man who has walked out on me numerous times, I can relate strongly to how your wife must feel. She feels abandoned, angry, and even rejected. In my husband's case, it's less about depression and more about inability and/or unwillingness to deal with conflict. I view his walking out on me as not being true to his marriage vows concerning being there "in good times and in bad." I have felt so much anger and resentment for the times he has done this to me and have had a difficult time overcoming the resentment. One thing that makes it harder for me to get past these incidents is the lack of remorse from my husband and the blame that ultimately gets put on me.
But the good thing about you is that you came back. And not only did you come back, you apologized and tried to make it up to her rather than make her feel it was all her fault that you left. You have taken responsibility and are truly trying. That says a lot. I know it must be extra difficult since you are already dealing with depression issues. I hope you can work through that with therapy, medication, and this HW site. There is a lot of support here.
In the meantime, just continue trying to work on yourself and do the things you've been doing in terms of responsibilities around the house. Surely, at some point, your wife will see that your intentions are real and sincere, not fake. I admire you for doing what you are doing, especially since you are dealing with depression on top of everything else.
You are always such an encouragement. And Gem, that quote is worth remembering.