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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2009 11:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I am not sure where to start, i am new to speaking out about my depression, and my husband who is a huge support suggested finding a forum, and talking to people who understand what i am going through.

I am 28, mum of 4 - 5 children (5th is my cousin who i have taken in) , I am Married, to a wonderful husband who is my rock. The father of my oldest 2 children had a terrible anger/alcohol/drug problem and used to treat me like i was worthless. I was raped by his best friend when i was 20. My ex is currently in jail and my kids have nothing to do with them. I gained alot of weight and found it very hard to lose any because i was scared of being raped again if i did. I was a single mum of 2 for a couple of years and found it very hard to let anyone get close. Then i met my current husband we also have 2 children together now, total 4, he treats my other 2 like his own and they love him so much. Unfortunately during my pregnancy with my second and last child i got PND but with my last it has got worse. Lately i have had alot of bad bad luck come my way, just stupid little things and some big things but i feel like its all getting on top of me and some days i dont even know what do to and dont want to get out of bed.

I am very nervous about talking so it may not make alot of sense. I only have my husband to talk to, but sometimes even though he is so brave and supportive it gets so much for him to deal with. I tried talking to my friends and family but they just brushed me off like i was a disappointment or embarrassment.

Thank u for even just taking the time to read.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40405
   Posted 8/23/2009 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell Depression forum. I am so happy that you have joined us.

You sound like a very good person and a very good mom. And I hope that you know that you are. I understand how you feel. Things can at times get so overwhelming. But I know things will change and get better for you. Try to take life one day at a time. ONe minute at a time if necessary. I am also happy that your husband is such a good support system. You are very fortunate for that. And I hope that he continues to be.

Keep posting as we are all here for you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2009 11:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like i am bringing him down though, sometimes on my really down days he gets really worried and last week he just broke and and was in tears cause it hurts him to see me this way. Are there any other spouses on here who are not sure of what to do, maybe i can get him to join too.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18573
   Posted 8/24/2009 4:47 AM (GMT -6)   
hi i am jamie, male 37 . sorry that you are down. i feel you both have a strong bond for each other and family. keep talking, and remember that it is the here and now that is important. thx for your courage in posting. we care. with loving compassion.
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/24/2009 10:12 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear lostmumof4

First of all, welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.

I am sorry you are having a tough time.  May I ask if you have ever been to a therapist?  Also are you on any medications? 

It may be time for you to make an appointment with your PCP for a medical screening exam to rule out any medical problems that may be causing you to feel so down.

That said, I am the depressed wife and my husband has stood by my side even though there are times when he just feels so hopeless and may say " I don't know what to do to help you"  I always tell him that he is doing what I need most which is just being with me.

We have been married for 37 years and I have had depression for 27 years. 

Also your PTSD would benefit from therapy.  Remember your therapist is there to work with you and this is where you may say whatever you want to say or need to say.

When your fears have the best of you, it is easy to feel that things will not get any better. This is not true. There is much help available in today’s society and the best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them. Instead of focusing on doom, stay in the moment. Give yourself breathing space. Consider what matters to you. Establish a few manageable goals, then take small steps toward achieving them

Please know coming here is a wonderful and courageous step. You are voicing your fears so you know what they are.

Gentle Hugs,




Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/24/2009 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Heeja Lost,

I am sorry to hear what you are going trough. I have to go with Kitt, a counselor can help a lot. Or maybe medications is the answer for you. One thing I urge you to do is to seek help. When people are in debt, they seek help. When people are sick, they seek help. When you are robbed of the most important thing there is, happiness, please seek help. You are worth it to be happy. And the best part is, every one benefits from a happy you, so it is worth trying.

I am sorry I can't offer much practical advise, as I am 19 and never had a relationship. But there are a lot of husbands and spouses here, both with and without depression. I hope they can give you some advise.

Take care my friend!

Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/24/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for your advice, i did go thru some counseling a couple of years ago, wasnt a easy thing to do, and no i am on no medications, my hubby wants me to see a doc, i am just really worried about taking them. I dont want an addiction or anything. I gave up smoking a year ago after 15yrs of smoking and lately i have been tempted, but havent. so am worried i may rely on a drug to much, if that makes sense.
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