a special form of depression

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ile
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/24/2009 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
 
Hello everybody,
 
I am the wife of a depressed husband. Everything was similar to what you described here until friday. What happend? we had a fight and after that he had very bad headaches and eyes paines. He couldn t hold his eyes open. He went to sleep. in a few seconds i followed him in the bedroom. so he wasn t sleeping. he was already lying in the bed. I stood a few seconds and then he asked if I talked with a friend of his on the telephone (it was 1 AM)> I said why? "I heard you speaking with him at the telephone" (I never speak with his friends on telephone.). i started to put him other question like, what day is today, when is his birthday, when will he travel to hungary. He didn t know to answer. So the answer was wrong, though it exists. he only knew we are in the 2009 and my name. More he didn t recall us having a fight nor him beeing depressed. in a few minutes he fall asleep. the next morning he didn t remember anything, except the real fight we had and that I gave him some head massage. I mention that he hadn t have maniacal episodes. What is this?

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 8/24/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Ile,
I don't think I've welcomed you before, so welcome to HW!

In my opinion, it does not sound like depression to me at all. I would get him in to see a neurologist ASAP. Get a neuro exam to make sure nothing serious is wrong in that field. Then maybe have some blood work run. Sometimes hormonal imbalances can cause depression-like symptoms, fatigue, insomnia/somnolence, changes in appetite, changes in weight, etc. Also, certain illnesses can cause problems like that. A friend of mine caught some sort of tropical illness on a missions trip to Venezuela some years back. The symptoms didn't get really bad until 3-4 months after he returned (I think he said they combined with some other illness -- it was a long time ago, I don't really remember perfectly). He got a lot of different problems. Lastly, though I would probably try to address this first, if he is on any medications at all or over-the-counter pills, call the prescribing doctor or primary care doctor to see whether it's possible that any of the meds, or a combination of the meds could cause his symptoms.

If all of those come back okay, you might try taking him to either a neuropsychiatrist or a psychiatrist for a thorough evaluation & treatment plan.

Gosh, I sure hope you find out what's going on very soon. Please do let the doctors know that he is having such unsettling symptoms when you call to make the appointment so hopefully they can get him in sooner rather than later. Let us know how things go or if there is any way we can support you during what I imagine is a very stressful time for you as well. I am always amazed at all the caring spouses here on this forum. You really are to be commended.

blessings,
Frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 8/24/2009 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
agree with frances. does he sleep talk and or walk? this happens to me from time to time. could be indicative of an overstimulated mind. with healings, jamie.

ile
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/24/2009 10:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances_2008 said...
Ile,
I don't think I've welcomed you before, so welcome to HW!

In my opinion, it does not sound like depression to me at all. I would get him in to see a neurologist ASAP. Get a neuro exam to make sure nothing serious is wrong in that field. Then maybe have some blood work run. Sometimes hormonal imbalances can cause depression-like symptoms, fatigue, insomnia/somnolence, changes in appetite, changes in weight, etc. Also, certain illnesses can cause problems like that. A friend of mine caught some sort of tropical illness on a missions trip to Venezuela some years back. The symptoms didn't get really bad until 3-4 months after he returned (I think he said they combined with some other illness -- it was a long time ago, I don't really remember perfectly). He got a lot of different problems. Lastly, though I would probably try to address this first, if he is on any medications at all or over-the-counter pills, call the prescribing doctor or primary care doctor to see whether it's possible that any of the meds, or a combination of the meds could cause his symptoms........

hello Frances,
 
Thank you for your words. i want to give more details about my situation, well.. his situation. He isn t taking any pills for depression. It is for the first time I see this. no, he isn t walking or speaking in his dreams and I did some non sleeping nights because of the stress his illness caused me. What we saw it is that he had some sorts of diseasess, such as back pains, head aches, heartaches and after a full examination the doctors didn t find anything. 2 weeks ago, in a moment of sincerity, he told me that he made up some illnesess, because he didn t want to give explanation for his bad mood. So this was simple. This time I am afraid that he more induced his state or fake it, as he did before with his back pains in order to finish a fight or a discussion. Am I beeing paranoia or is this really possible?
 
Thank you!
 

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 8/24/2009 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
if he says he has been faking it, confirmation for you is if he recognises it the next morning. not paranoid but i would be alert. do take care of you ile. jamie.

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 8/25/2009 7:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know how long he has been depressed & how often you ask about it. If he has been depressed for a while & you mention it regularly (at least a couple times a week), then it is entirely possible that he is just overwhelmed from the depression. While I've not every lied to immediate family, I have made up stories to other family members just to get them to leave me alone. What concerns me, though, is that what he did brought more attention to himself rather than less (which is typically what people with depression do when they don't want to keep hearing loved ones bring up depression over & over). But, not everyone is "typical" so maybe try not to read too much into it.

I do think it is really, really important for him to be honest with you. If he doesn't want to talk about his depression with you, he should just say so. I think that was pretty selfish of him to make you all worried about him over fake symptoms. Perhaps the two of you might consider couples counseling. It might help from both ends -- if you really are pushing him to talk about his depression with you, then the counselor might help identify ways for you to check in on him without pushing him to the brink, likewise it could help your husband to find ways to appropriately communicate his needs without causing you needless worry.

Please don't take that as me finding fault in you at all. I'm really no expert on this. Other members are much more experienced that I am at living with spouses who suffer from depression. All I can offer is a listening ear & the suggestion that counseling may be helpful. Please know that you are always welcome here. Living with a spouse with severe depression, like any chronic illness, can bring on a bit of a depressed mood, feelings of frustration/anger, or even anxiety/fear in many people and it is important that you take care of yourself & make sure you have enough support for yourself while dealing with this. Anytime you feel frustrated with your spouse & want to vent your frustrations and ask for support or advice, I know there are many members here who would be happy to offer support and share their own experiences.
Moderator -- Depression Forum


ile
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/25/2009 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances_2008 said...
I don't know how long he has been depressed & how often you ask about it. If he has been depressed for a while & you mention it regularly (at least a couple times a week), then it is entirely possible that he is just overwhelmed from the depression. While I've not every lied to immediate family, I have made up stories to other family members just to get them to leave me alone. What concerns me, though, is that what he did brought more attention to himself rather than less (which is typically what people with depression do when they don't want to keep hearing loved ones bring up depression over & over). But, not everyone is "typical" so maybe try not to read too much into it.

I do think it is really, really important for him to be honest with you. If he doesn't want to talk about his depression with you, he should just say so. I think that was pretty selfish of him to make you all worried about him over fake symptoms. Perhaps the two of you might consider couples counseling. It might help from both ends -- if you really are pushing him to talk about his depression with you, then the counselor might help identify ways for you to check in on him without pushing him to the brink, likewise it could help your husband to find ways to appropriately communicate his needs without causing you needless worry.....
Thank you for your advice. it is nice to have someone speaking with you as I have none. my husband is coming today from a 4 day worktrip. I want to mentionate that I felt real good this time and I recovered my strenght. i think he too. Cause I didn t call him or anything. I just let him do the step. He really did. And what is more important, he said that he wants to get rid of this depression because he misses old "ile" that laughed with him out of anything (I am really down too). It is good that he misses me, because he wanted all the time to run away from me. now he wants to see me. anywhy he didn t speak to me at all a few months ago. now he is changed due to this illness. I can also speak up my issues. On the other hand I know I am not to blame and he doesn t cheating on me, as i thought. so 2 good things happend.
 
Thank you very much.
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