i dont know what to do anymore

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xela
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/24/2009 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   
i graduated from high school this year and turned 18 about 7 months ago. my life has never been crazier or more stressful. sometimes i just wanna give up and move so far away and cut off all contact with my family. my whole life i have never been good enough for my paretns. i have never heard them tell me they are proud. i have been a wild child since i was little and have never known right from wrong. but i have always loved myself and learned from every stupid mistake i make. my mother hates me and has told me so. i will always be compared to my sisters and to the friends i have had. i have decided to go to a JC because my family doesnt have the money for me to go off to school and i dont know what school i would even want to go to. i am content with my choices at least i thought i was. i just want my dad to have my back and understand but no one ever will. he hates where we live and cant even have the balls to sit down and talk to me and my sisters about our problems or what is going on in his life. its so frustrating because he is so close minded. he has traveled for work almost his whole life. i see him on the weekends. but he was unemployed about a year ago and has been home more. money has been tight but we are surviving. i dont ask my parents for money and never have. i have worked for the past two years and saved up all my money. due to a HUGE mistake i made this year, i had thousands and thousands of fines to pay off. so i lost alot of money. but didnt take any from my parents. that is in the past but i never feel acknoledged by anyone. sorry if this is confusing i am just so upset. i have no where to go and just dont know what to do anymore. you dont have to respond i know i wrote a novel but i had to say something.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18775
   Posted 8/24/2009 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
hey xela, that is okay. you done well to get it out, and i admire your courage in doing so. a lot is happening for you, good on you for taking responsibility for your fines, yes would be validating if your folks said well done we are proud of you. seems like there is a lot of disharmony, are you aware of why? are you the elderst child? sometimes the elderst cops more. i am sorry of your situation, i would recommend that getting out with friends, maybe confiding with a pastor, school counsellor would be of help to your situation.
 
jamie

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 8/25/2009 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry you do not have a good family support, I did not either.  when I decided to distance myself from them, live life my way and just love them from afar, I became much happier.  Economic times are tough for everybody and that just makes things worse.  It does sound like you have a lot of positive things going for you, you are not afraid to work or save money. don't worry about money you no longer have, think of making more to do the things you want to do.  Having our families "blessing and praises" is a good thing, but it is not everything in life and we have all made mistakes, pay for them and go on.  If we are smart we do not repeat the same mistake.  Take a deep breath, vision what you can do for yourself to make your life better and work towards that goal.  Do something that makes you proud of you because ultimately, that is what matters most.
 
I hope you feel better soon.
Gem

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/25/2009 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. I am sorry you are feeling so down but please remember to forgive yourself and move on.  You cannot change other people but you can change yourself and learn to have pride in you accomplishments.
 
If there is a counselor at your school see if you cannot get an appointment to talk one on one with a counselor.  You can open up and share your feelings.  That alone will make you feel better.
 
Remember do not let anyone verbally abuse you or disrespect you. You are a kind and caring human being and none of us are perfect.  Learn to love yourself.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt

 
 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

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