Wow, Cloudy, I really feel for you. I too have had a very hard time figuring out what I wanted - and want - from friendships, what's fun, what I enjoy, who I want to hang out with, and how the heck to get people to want to hang out with me!
You might like this list of ways to make friends
. It has 50 ideas, and there're another 50 if somehow those aren't enough.
Believe in yourself. You have a lot to offer, and you're a very special person. As hard as it is, you need to believe and be comfortable in your own skin. That confidence will naturally get people to gravitate to you.