I have been having depression/anxiety for a long time. No reason to go into the details. For a while I've been doing fine. But recently a whole slew of things has come down upon me and I'm having trouble handling it all.
My husband 'almost' cheated on me at our wedding reception after party. Then not a week later my first 'love' is trying to contact me. I don't know what to do with all of this. My anger and hurt from his performance at our after party coupled with some dude who was very hard for me to get over is screwing with my brain.
I just feel angry all the time right now. I feel like no matter how good things are going they just end up broken or near broken. I love my husband. I am just so hurt. I know it wasn't my fault what happened, but I can't help but feel hopless. It's not that I wasnt' good enough, I know that. It's just seems like things are always going to be coming at me, lol, seriously feels like the universe is against me. Why would those two things happen in conjunction with one another? It's just so confusing and frustrating.
I'm just so tired all the time now.
I don't drive, I stay at home all day watching and caring for my son. I love him. It's so hard to only have my husband and my son as forms of social interaction. Once a week I have a 'girl's lunch' with one of my friends. But beyond that the most I usually see is Harris Teeter. My husband gets home and is tired and doesn't want to leave.
I feel secluded. I feel shut away. I feel like I have little to no control over my life and it really doesn't help that my husband is the 'bread winner' and I can't work because I raise my son. It doesn't feel like it's 'our' money.
I don't know. He won't let me get medication, which I was on before because he thinks it's unnatural. He doesn't want me to use them if I don't need to. And I haven't needed to. But now I am feeling crazy and paranoid and angry and tired all at the same time again.
thanks for letting me vent
Post Edited By Moderator (Nanners) : 8/26/2009 7:47:50 AM (GMT-6)