Grad school blues

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone,

So I am pursuing my Master's degree at my undergraduate school's rival school and I never really thought it would be a big deal. I was doing really well with my battle against depression, but as I'm trying to meet people here and they ask where I went to undergrad, I'm getting really tired of the laughs or puzzled looks I get and it's making me spiral back into the depressive thoughts. I'm too far along in the program to quit and transfer and I know I should grow a thicker skin and just focus on my studies, but I'm a very sensitive person and I'm upset that I'm lacking credibility for my degrees based on this situation. I want to be proud of what I've accomplished and I just feel like a big joke and that I made a stupid decision. Can anyone help me think of a better perspective so I can enjoy my experience here? I'm worried that I made a big mistake even though coming here made the most sense financially and logistically. Thanks for your help.

NW
Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. -Tori Amos


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18760
   Posted 8/29/2009 3:09 AM (GMT -7)   
hi nightwish. hey, you do what is right for you. you have the absolute right to feel welcome and accepted in any academic environment. maybe a chat with your peer liaison officer regarding these intimadatry practices is warranted. some academics are snobs, thus you hold your head up high. obviously to complete your masters where you are currently studying is congruent for your professional and personal development. seek support, this may well be happening in other formats also. i would look to see what the universities tolerance on bullying is. plenty of ways to skin a cat!! keep positive, am sorry that these numbskulls are distressing you. you be you, i admire that you have made clear sacrificies to succeed well in your masters program and future life. keep on track, with loving compassion. jamie.

VeeBee112
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/29/2009 3:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

You should feel proud of yourself that you are trying to make a life for yourself its not easy out here in the big world but its what u make of it, and putting yourself trough school is one of the hardest things mentally and financially. Dont worry about what these other people think and say to you its not like these people are going to be in your life forever they are just put there to make you stronger and to give you courage for later in life and you really are just best off ignoring them because one day you will get to be who ever you to want be for all u know you could end up being one of these peoples bosses how funny would that be. Well take care an be strong and proud of what u have already accomplished its more then alot of other people have done with there life.

Vee xoxo

spinningrose
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 8/29/2009 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
NightWish-

I have been in a somewhat similar situation. I left my prestigious 4 year university midway because it didn't seem worth the money anymore. When I returned home to a local community college with the intentions of transferring after I had gotten all the credits I could, at first, it felt like a disaster. Every time I had to tell someone why I was back, or where I was going I got those disapproving and judgmental looks. Everyone thought that I had made the wrong decision, to them, it seemed as if I was throwing away my education, when in reality I am learning more and paying less where I am right now. For a long time it really bothered me and made me truly feel like a failure, that I should have just taken the financial risk and taken out all those student loans, but after a few months I began to realize that this truly was the best decision for me and whatever other people think is right or wrong, doesn't really have much to do with me, considering I am the only one that can make decisions for myself. I think what really helped me with that is reminding myself all the time of why I made the decision, why it is the right one, and shut my mind off to all the if's, and's, or but's.

There is absolutely no reason on earth why your degree would mean less because it came from a certain school. If what you have chosen is different, then so be it, I think you sound like an intelligent human being who most likely thought very carefully before making the decision and I would trust that! It's tough to ignore those looks, I know they kill, but other people don't walk in your shoes, so they can't really be the judges can they?

Walking a different road is hard, but if it's right, then it's right. I hope this helps a bit, sometimes it helps just knowing that there's at least one person who doesn't think you're crazy, because that's how I felt for quite a while until I heard a lot of these words from a very good friend, thank god for those. Hang in there!

yankee girl
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 8/29/2009 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nightwish,

You should be so very proud of yourself.

Apparently the graduate program at your current school thought that your undergrad degree was prestigious enough for you to be admitted into your current grad program.

Sometimes people can be very shallow and think themselves superior, very snobbish--I totally understand that you're trying to connect and make new friends---it will happen when you least expect it. Continue on your course of study, do your own thing, be open and friendly and eventually you'll find like-minded people.

Wishing you the best,
Yankee girl
fibro, PTSD, anxiety, severe nerve damage/several surgeries on wrist, TMJ--have titanium disks, depression, mitral valve prolapse.
 
xanax, roxicodone, melatonin, accupril, HRT
 


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 8/29/2009 4:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys. You've helped me put things in perspective. Sometimes we make decisions in life based on what makes the most sense at the time and we just have to roll with it and what happens. I've realized that I care what people think of me more than I thought I did, and so this is a good reminder that all that really matters is what I think of myself and to not let anyone break me by giving them my power. Hopefully I'll see the humor in it soon too. And if not, there's always the option of moving to a different state after I graduate. Just kidding :-)
Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. -Tori Amos


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18760
   Posted 8/29/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
well done nightwish. proud of you. keep positive, we are here for you. jamie

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 8/29/2009 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes Nightwish,

Well done, and you should be proud of yourself. You are doing a fantastic job. Don't let what a few people think, keep you from reaching your goal. That goal is yours and you can do this.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/30/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hurrah for you.........you are right on and never rely on others to make you feel good. Be proud of who you are and most of all know you deserve to be happy.

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”~Leo F. Buscaglia

NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 8/30/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Aw, thanks ladies. Your support means a lot. I know I'm going to look back on this one day and laugh, so I'm trying hard to just remember my goals and that this is really a small thing in the grand scheme of life. Thanks.
Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. -Tori Amos


spinningrose
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 8/30/2009 10:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling better about your situation. Sounds like you are a lot braver than you might have given yourself credit for :) Keep it up!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 5:20 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,355 posts in 301,205 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151325 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, artgal234.
360 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
CrohnsPanda, desert bound, Wanda1225, Albannach, Teamchris, reminder, holo100, jdcd57, ChickNorris, artgal234, snowboat


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer