I just reread some of your other posts and it does feel to me like you would really benefit from counseling.
Your life seems to be out of control and you may be acting out to get the attention you want and desire.
Cheating is such ugly business! It never ends well because no matter how it plays out somebody carries the burden of what happened. That is why I am strongly suggesting you consider counseling as you need to figure out what is good for you right now and start to heal yourself.
From reading back I see you were having issues with this boyfriend and the best thing may be for you to go your separate ways. You're not a terrible person, but you are a human person.
The only fair and right thing to do is to tell your boyfriend but that is just my opinion. I wish you well.