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Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 12
Posted 9/9/2009 8:53 PM (GMT -6)
I am 16 years old. Me and my girlfriend have been dating nine months and 11 days.
We have had those ups and downs everyone has in a relationship. but this time i feel like she is cheating. I while back, during the summer i went on a vacation and messed up. i didn't talk to her. I don't know why, it was a big mistake and i will never be able to forgive myself. but she said she got over it. I still apologize for it. she says don't worry about
it. we have our "relationship rules" like no cheating, no talking to the opposite sex. We have had a very strong relationship. our families like each other. every time i make a mistake or do one little thing wrong, for example. talk on the phone until 3:00 am in the morning and fall asleep on the phone because i woke up early to go over to her house @ 6:00 am in the morning. she would get mad and say forget it and tell me to just go to bed. but i don't want her to go to bed angry with me. it just leaves her for the next day to turn out bad. So, for the past week she has been telling me that her grandma is dying, her mom is yelling at her constantly, her dad had surgery and isn't working right now he just sits around and argues with his wife and my girlfriend. She told me that if she gets to stressed out she just drops everything and says screw it to everything. like she would drop what she is doing and just forget about
all of what she was doing and basically leave everyone out of her life and restart. which is depressing because i want to help her get threw the hard times she is going threw. but she insists on it being her way. so she broke up with me and said were only taking a brake. so first off she says she just doesn't even want to talk to me or see me for 3 days. I am so attached to her that even if she thinks of braking up with me or talks about
leaving me, i start to bawl. i can't help it. i try not to i just love her so much. she says if i love her that i will understand that she needs her space and i should know that she will be back with me. for the past 2 days. she has been jogging for about
2 hours each day. which she never does which i find very odd. she told her mom that she's going running to get a tan. and all throughout our relationship she said she would never tan its bad for your skin. and now she goes jogging to a tanning salon. i think that she is talking to another guy that told her she would look nice with a darker skin tone. so she goes and does it. she doesn't tell me anything she does. i try so hard to keep her i just don't know how to make her stay happy. i ask her if she is happy with me. she tells me "yes, but for right now... i just don't want to go out with you" i look away, and then she says "just for now, i still want to be with you, i've told you a thousand times, that i just need my space" i tell her i know and i'm sorry. i tell her that i just miss her so much and would do anything to hold her and call her mine.
in my past experiences with relationships, first they say i just need a brake. then when there on the "break" they start talking to another guy to see if they can get a better boyfriend. i have never cheated, lied, or wronged her in any way possible. I've been raised from good parents. i have had many of bad things that have happened in my life. i had horrible family issues, friend issues. and close to suicide attempts. i've gone to counseling and it helped allot. then when me and my girlfriend were going steady i quit going. and i was fine then on. now i have many signs of bad depression again. it runs in my family. we all have it. she is always going off with her "friends" and hanging out with them. i called her house phone(she doesn't have a cell) her mom answered and said that she was with her friend. i called her friend and said they weren't hanging out today. i called back and my girlfriend answered. and i said where were you. and she replied saying she was taking a shower. i called back later and talked to her mom and said that she did leave and didn't tell anyone where she was going. she just left. Ive gone by her house there isn't anything odd happening, like no cars i don't recognize or anything like that. i just seems when I'm gone nothings happening. that's why i ask if its just me. she has always been Loyal to me and so have i. i just don't understand if she is or not.
Thanks for reading,
If anyone has some similar type of thing they have done and what the outcome was. please contact me.
if this has happened to you also contact me.
Post Edited (MichaelD93) : 9/10/2009 5:51:52 PM (GMT-6)
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19476
Posted 9/10/2009 7:01 AM (GMT -6)
hi jamie here. doing it a tad tough. i think that you need to give her the space she is asking for. if your relationship is solid then she will come back. some ladies require a bit of space to do their thing with their friends. am sorry that you are feeling down, maybe you could do some stuff to keep yurself and your mind active. trust works both ways, and i think it would be a bad reflection if she found out that you were checking up, so to speak. depression is a hard thing, but relationships do come and go, i am not just saying this because your young, just saying it as it is a fact of life. i suggest giving her the space she needs, and by doing so you may actually re-build your relationship, yeah she may be looking, albeit a solid relationship is a mutual practice, if it is to prosper it will and if not, then you know that you did the right things in regards to this. keep strong, and be you, you are you a unique and special person with talents and gifts unique only to you. with compassion. jamie
dx, mdd, severe borderline ppersonality disorder.
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
Posted 9/10/2009 7:14 AM (GMT -6)
Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry to read you are going through a tough time and trying to come to terms with the status of your relationship with your girlfriend.
I feel perhaps it is time for you to take a break from this relationship as you seem to be spinning in circles.
Breakups can be very painful so the best way to deal with a breakup is to stay active. Talk to your friends, famliy and joining a support group are all good ways to help you through this tough time.
I am going to give you a link to a site that is for teens and has many great topics and support from other teens etc.
Teen Central :
I wish you peace and happiness and again a warm welcome.
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
DX: Anxiety, Depression, Osteoarthritis, GERD, Raynaud's syndrome, Skin Cancer and IBS
Not a mental health professional of any kind
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
Posted 9/10/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -6)
hun you really dont need this. if a girl loved you then she wouldnt want to break up with you for space. this girl is not ready for a serious relationship and it sounds like it is unhealthy for you. even when going through issues at home she should want to turn to you for support not break up with you. im sorry but she is keeping you on a leash just in case she cant find someone she think is better.(btw you sound like a great teen, any girl would be lucky to have you) there is plenty of girls out there and one that will love you and keep you but i dont think it is her. if you stick with her, and i support whatever you decide, be ready for a lot of heartache. love is so much better when the other loves you.
im sorry if i sound harsh but i just dont want you to continue hurting. If you truly love her let her go and if it is meant to be she will come back to you. but dont let her stample on your heart and continue to hurt you. I was once told the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. you have tried over and over to hold this relationship together but its not working. start a hobby, get into sports, go out with friends and learn to be happy with you and then and only then can someone else make you happy. please understand what i am trying to say and not take it the wrong way i hope i am saying it right.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
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