The Past, A High School Life Cut Short.

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MichaelD93
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 9/10/2009 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
In 8th and 9th grade i had a off and on relationship with this girl i really liked alot. we dated for 6 months and after that. It was one of the worst times of my life. that is when my depression started. we dated off and on for about a total of 8 months.  break up on the weekends and go back out on the week days. for about 2 months it was like that. it was tearing me apart. i thought it was the end. i became one of the "popular" kids then. 
 
over the summer after 9th grade. i met a girl from a friend of mine. we dated for 1 week. that turned out to almost making some of the worst choices of my life. we dated for 1 week. she told me when she broke up with me that she wanted a break because we dint see each other. so for six months we were not officially "dating" she told her parents we were and her friends we weren't. i was accused of cheating because i was talking to her best friend to see if she was cheating on me because she was always with just her "guy" friends and insisted that they were just friends. he best friend said that she was talking to them (about dating, and other unloyal acts) but she never did anything. she told me to leave her alone and to get out of her life and all im doing is screwing it up. and i did all she asked of me. and still nothing. i would call her for a week and leave messages, but never called back. i went to homecoming with her and spent around $400 on the homecoming. we went to the dance. and she ditched me and didnt talk with me or dance with me. she left and talked and did some "dirty" dancing with them which upset me very bad. she told me she loved me every once and a while. so on the way home i asked her. "do you love me... she said yes," i felt that things were going to turn around and we would be a happy couple. but she told me right after......    "only as a friend". it broke my heart. i didnt talk to anyone for weeks. i dropped out of school and everything was horrible. i had to go to therapy and mental hospital interviews. i was step 4 on a 5 scale suicide latter.
 
 
It took months to build back what i lost.     i went to a youth group meeting with a friend because he said its just a fun thing to do and it would cheer me up. so i went. thats where i met my current, (on a break) girlfriend. shakehead
we started talking and had some intrests we both liked we swapped phone #'s and i called her the next day because my family was going up in the mountains to get a christmas tree. so that day was fun. i thought that she was a nice girl and would be a fun realationship just to try one out again. i had my gaurd up so if anything happened i wouldnt be devistated. but then i started to fall for her, we started dating and we were going strong until now. during the realationship i have made some mistakes like not calling her for a certain time or saying a thing she didnt like to hear 1 to many times. nothing big. during augest she almost broke up with me because she said she didnt want to live this way with me treating her like i dont care and treating her like she is just an item. i felt so bad that she felt that way. i had always acted the same. i dont know what was going on. so i stepped it up. i brought her some flowers from my garden and a letter i made myself. telling her that im changing not because of just what you want because i want to. and i did. i thought to myself i had been a little selfish at times. but it was only things like going to movies i only wanted to see going to dinner a places i only liked. i got my licence and then i would drive her around and we would go up in the mountains and sit and talk around a fire. we would go to the movies and mall and have a great time. all of a sudden she starts having this problem with her parents yelling at her all the time and she was always getting stressed over small things. so stressed that she broke up with me(for a break). which i... i cried for almost 2 days. because i love her so much. and i was so shocked that it would happen because i came out of nowhere. i thought we were doing fine besides that. and now here i am. Im trying so hard. why cant she see that i want to help her. (she insists that its her way "i have to let you go for now beacuse if i dont i get to stressed out and just drop everything, and i dont want to lose you, so if i let you go for now i wont break up with you for good").

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 9/10/2009 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I honestly think that you should get on with your life. It sounds like she is stringing you along. And if you have been acting selfish, well, maybe this is her way of slowing down and deciding what she really wants. We can't make others want us. So I would just go on living one day at a time and see what happens.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/21/2009 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I want to give you some resources that might be better for you then healingwell...
http://www.teencentral.net/
 


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 9/21/2009 9:05:05 PM (GMT-6)


aannddyy00
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/21/2009 11:02 PM (GMT -7)   
i thought this is something id have written myself just a few years ago. i had trouble in high school dating and fell in love with a girl who thought of my as just a friend. I thought about suicide and turned to drinking and my job. i met a girl who made me feel so important and like a real "man" i guess. if i had to do it all over again i wouldnt have concerned myself so much with what others thought. I too finally was accepted to the "popular" crowd mid high school. Just recently i realized that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks of you. Everyone is special and not everyone will like you. Only by being yourself will you realize who really likes you for who you are. Cheesy I know. Im now 25 and feel like ive lost myself over the years. Know who you are and be that person. Be proud of yourself and do what you have a passion for. I got married before i really started to come to realize all this and im afraid my marriage will end because of it. Dont worry about finding that someone, until you find yourself.
Andy


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 9/22/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Andy,

That was very well put and so true. We do have to find ourselves before we can have a successful relationship. Thank you for your input.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ashhealed
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/24/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey I think u r a bit lonely!!try grouping up wid some genuine people!!
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