i feel so alone!

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xela
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 9/10/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
i know you have told me i should go to counseling but i just don't know how to. i have never felt this way before. i feel confused, hurt, and more alone than ever. and when i am happy, i am so incredibly happy but it only goes away after a few moments. i feel stuck where i am at and i just wanna escape but know that i can not and have no where to go. i feel like i give and give to my family boyfriend and friends and get nothing back. maybe i do and i am just delusional but its hurts every once in a while. my anxiety always gets to me and i always feel like crying. i have been really good about not crying though. it only makes it worse i have realized. i just wanna know if anyone else ever feels that way, and honestly feels that way.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18772
   Posted 9/10/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
at this moment in time you are feeling sad. maybe there are some changes happening? life is confusing, and hurtful at times, as well as joyous, painful etc. i feel that there is a lot on your mind, and dealing with things on your mind, esp when life is moving is difficult. and esp when there are more than just one thing in your mind that warrants your attention. my suggestion: to write things down, diary, journaling, etc. In terms of therapy, well see your doc, this way your doc can advise you of suitable services in your area, and one that will meet your needs. and by seeing the doc you can let he/she know of what is happening, this way your doc may have some ideas regarding other possibilities. all the best.
 
jamie
 
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 9/10/2009 8:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Stop and think about it. Do you do things for others because you want to, or because you want something in return? Don't expect things out of people and you never get disappointed. Give because you want to. That will help your thinking a little bit.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


me<3
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/11/2009 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes I feel that way at times. I recognize it isn't always, though. When it is there it's there. I

It feels like a physical presence. My eyes are literally tear up 10 to 20 times a day. My stomach feels tight, and jittery. I sweat easier. My shoulders feel constricted. I feel trapped.

I have found that concentrated breathing is pretty much the only thing that helps. While I am breathing, which we all have to do anyway, I start by focusing on people who have it worse than I. It may sound weird, but by taking myself out of my situation for a moment, I can really appreciate what I do have.

I try to think about a prayer I heard, about it being more important to be understanding than it is to be understood.

I think of it as a coping skill: I don't have to be understood, but I could probably stand to be more understanding.

It is more important to be loving than to be loved.
It is more important to be consoling than to be consoled.

I had a really hard last few days and I found myself with that trapped, alone, confused, hurt feeling.

I only feel that way maybe once every couple of months, sometimes once a month, sometimes just a couple of times a year.

If I am not taking care of myself physically by exercising 2 to 3 times a week, if I am not eating healthy, if I am under challenged or over-committed, it is worse.

When I am in the middle of the worst of it, I try not to make it even worse by lashing out at anyone, or by self harming. I tell myself "It is just a hard couple of days, it will pass".

I tell myself that, concentrate on breathing, take care of as many daily tasks as I can, and soon enough, I start to feel better...at least not as bad.

Hope this helps...I do know exactly how you feel.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 9/11/2009 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Concentrating on your breathing keeps you in the now. That is a good thing to do. It is like meditation. And that clears the mind and gives us more energy to cope with things. What a wonderful thing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Marie Laveau
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/14/2009 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi xela, yes you are not alone... I feel that way all the time... Im here for support too .. Its like you are my cloan.. This is a blog i wrote about myself on another website(((IM A FUN LOVING PERSON... IM NO BETTER THAN YOU...I LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE , AND DANCE WHEN I CAN ... I CRY TOO...I GIVE MORE THAN I PROBABLY SHOULD... I DONT EXPECT ANYMORE THAN I GIVE... MOSTLY I GET LESS... BUT I DONT EXPECT MORE...I HAVE HAD TO UNDERSTAND THINGS IN LIFE THAT IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO DO... BUT IM STILL WORKING ON IT... I ENJOY BEING AND DOING THINGS BY MYSELF... I HAVE MORE FUN THAT WAY...I AM A TRUE FRIEND.. I KEEP MY WORD AND PROMISES...MY MOTTO IS SOME DAY...BUT SOMETIMES SOME DAY IS NOT SO EASY TO SEE...I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE AND SOME DAY HE WILL HELP ME SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF MY LONG DARK TUNNEL... I KEEP THE FAITH...AND I CHARISH LOVE ... AND MY FRIENDS.. I HAVE THE BIGGEST HEART IN THE WORLD.. I FEEL THATTHE SEXIEST THING A MAN CAN GIVE TO A WOMAN IS HONESTY!!! .AND I FIND THAT WHEN I GET HURT I USUALLY BRING IT UPON MYSELF... IM WORKING ON THAT TOO... MY WALL IS COMMING BACK UP SLOWLY BUT WHEN I FINISH BUILDING IT, IT WILL BE SO STRONG...AND THEN I WILL BE COMPLETE ONCE AGAIN..BUT MOST OF ALL I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE AND FOR NOW HE IS MY WALL.. ))) Sorry for the cap lock.. I copied and pasted..i do understand how you feel and just last weekend a friend helped me on a partion of it... He said I should love myself first.. Look out for your own heart... protect yourself... when life throws you a negative find 5 positives about it... it really seems to help. although I do find myself slipping at times, so I call him back and ask for reassurance... I t really works hun... xMARIEx

Edit:

Hello Marie,  Your cap locks are on again.  Also please review the rules regarding your signature line:

19. No lengthy signatures. Limit signatures to 10 lines or less.  Moderators will edit and/or remove signatures that are too long.

I do believe your quote in your signature line is more then 10 lines............that includes all lines and spaces.

Thank you so much,

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/14/2009 9:58:33 PM (GMT-6)


xela
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/19/2009 9:12 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you so much marie. that made me cry out of happiness reading what you wrote. sorry it took so long to write back but sometimes coming on here when im happy makes me sad. but what you said made me feel so happy it feels good becuase you wrote almost exactly how i feel. i hope you are doing good and thank you.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 10/20/2009 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   

I think everyone here can relate.  Are you currently on any meds?  I fought that route for so long, finally had to give in, felt so bad, out of control, and etc.  Please talk to your Dr. and see what options are available to you.  I know how frustrating it can be to just want to feel better.  I take Buspar and Xanax for anxiety/depression.  I feel my MD is well meaning but a bit conservative, I recently made an appt with PDoc (last one retired and he was too heavy with meds) but I have been having trouble with med ups and downs, just want to make sure I am on the right course.

I hope you feel better today.  Try to see if there are certain "triggers" that cause you to feel the way you do.  It sounds like you are a loving, giving person.  That is great BUT you must take care of yourself or you will be no good to anyone else.

Hugs

Gem


Tgord
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/23/2009 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
We are all alone at times. I am right now. This is no reason to degrade yourself or feel worthless. When we are alone with our thoughts, it is a good time to listen to those thoughts. I utilize various scenerios to see how things I am depressed about pan out in my mind. Then evaluate how practical these scenes are. A lot of people are freaking out right now with no outlet. Words are a strong expression of emotions. I have no grudges or qualms. I would love to speak with anyone at this moment.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 10/23/2009 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tgord,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. You have come to a good place. All of the members here are very kind and compassionate. We all understand what you are going through.

Please keep posting, let us know how you are doing. Know that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Tgord
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/23/2009 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   

I appreciate the reply!  I am married to a wife who works constantly.  My job changed from mason to lab tech. after the economic collapse.  Not only has my pay been cut in thirds, but my value at home has been shredded. I have a lot to say and nobody to hear it.

 

Tony


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 10/23/2009 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
You are welcome to start a thread of your own and introduce yourself. That way everybody could get to know you better. But the weekends are slow here so you might not get that many responses. But I would advise starting a fresh thread about you if you would like to.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 10/31/2009 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   
hi Me>3,

Hello I just wanted to say hi and tell you that i readyour post to the new lady and they way you explained things to her were truly amazing.
You have a very intelligent mind and it as truly inspiring. It's nice to read such lovely posts.

best wishes to you,

beverley.c. ;))))
diagnosed with C in 2001.
colorectal anastamosis 2001.
surgery went horribly wrong,swab left inside,emergency surgery 2001.
total colectomy & ileostomy 2001.
surgical complication's-abcess,more surgery 2001.
more complication's-stitches come apart inside and ended up having more surgery and blood transfusion. 2001.
infection at lap site,another abcess. 2001.
i spent 12mths in Cabrini Private Hospital in Melbourne.
1993 diagnosed with endometriosis,then age 27yrs had radical hysterectomy then 2 mths later lost both ovaries.
2005. bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on the table,also contracted MRSA in coronary care unit,had staph for about 12mths. pic line for 6 mths for venus access,for daily antibiotics.
march 2009. op on a parastomal hernia & re-fashioning of stoma. Then complications,huge abcess in small bowel & peritinitus,emergency laparotomy to remove,icu for 5 day's. I think that's enough, no more.
Am taking AVANZA for my depression & ocd!!!!!!!!!!!

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