im madly in love with my straight guy friend

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leonard26
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/14/2009 7:34 PM (GMT -7)   
 
whoooooooo.. i really dont know where to start.. im new here and i really needed all your help.. please lend me ur time.. im leonard 26,, and i really think that Im gay but i cannot come out.  nobody knows about this since all my action is the same for a real guy.. i play basketball, wear clothes the same as a real guy. Im working in other country and an island were only few people are here, without any sort of recreation except beaches.. Before i came here i already fallen to my two straight friends back home but time heals since i never have any communication with them since i started working.. The first is one is in high school and the next one is in university.. and I know they dont know anything about this since i have also a girlfriend.
 
Here is my story now, there's a guy here which i already notice since he arrived here in this country.. we seldom see other, only in church but this feeling did not really grew.. until one time that we started playing basketball together with our other guy friend.  we decided to stay in the same house.  from that time i promised myself that i will not fall for this guy i will treat him as my brother and my friend. we get along together, eat together, play together and everything, one day i just knew that im in love, his handsome, cute, with a good body and butt.. actually his in front of me while im writing this. lol.. i started to get jealous if his with somebody else.. his girlfriend is not here so im trying my best to help him.. to give the suppor that he needed.. i dont want to loose our friendship,, i want him by my side.. wat will i do to stop this feeling?? sometimes i feel also that he wants to stay away from me.. i dont know y.. But im trying my best to have him.. Im thinking that he smells something about me. but wat bothers me is he get along very well with a friend of ours that we both know as a gay (could not come out also), i feel very jealous when his with him..  what will i do, i want to let go of this feeling, but how can i, im seeing him every moment of my day. im thinking of transferring house but i dont know if i can live a single day without seeing him. i dont want him to know also of my situation,, i dont want to loose our friendship.. I love him so much..... truly madly deeply in love.. please help me..

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 9/14/2009 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that you are in the wrong place. This is a depression forum. Maybe you should look for a forum that pertains to your problems.

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18757
   Posted 9/15/2009 2:58 AM (GMT -7)   
firstly you say that you are not sure if you are gay. secondly i feel that you want to be and come out for this guy, but a girlfriend too!! sorry but you can't have your cake and eat it to. sounds like your bi.......if you were or are gay then you would not be having a relationship with a women! just my thoughts. so the ball is in your court. pardon the pun. jamie

leonard26
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/15/2009 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jaimee,
 
thanks for the time,, im 100% sure that I am gay.. the girlfriend thing happened during my school days.. its just a cover up so that nobody will know.. i did not have sexual interaction with them during that time.. its a complete pretention during the time just to hide who really I am. 
 
Right now Im madly in love with this guy,, we are in one apartment, I know I love him so much.. I only know him for the past six months.. I want to let go of this coz i want to protect my integrity as a professional and our friendship as well.. but i dont know 24 hours of the day im thinking of him.. before and after sleeping even at work his on my mind.. i feel jealous if he go out with our other friends, especially with one of our gay friend (we both know he is gay but still in denial).  Help me how to cope with this. My work is affected, im not as efficient as before.. my relationship with my family and other friends are affected.  All i want all day of my life is to be by his side.. What will I do to stop this?? I dont want to loose him.. I dont want our friendship to be affected. Please help me.. Please..

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18757
   Posted 9/15/2009 3:41 AM (GMT -7)   
it seems that this guy has no idea of your  feelings for him. so, that puts him in a pickle. and you, well unless he is aware of your interest you will be forever chasing your tail. i am sorry that this is impacting on your health, but i am here for you if you are suffering from depression, so maybe you 2 need to hook up a bit, maybe he has no feelings for you bar friendship, maybe he has interests elsewhere. sorry, this will be my last post on this, i think i have been helpful, and i wish you well.
 
jamie.
 
DX, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder. 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 9/15/2009 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I really don't think that this forum can help you with your situation. This is for depression. You have problems with your sexuality. Try googling something that will direct you to gay issues. You have to for one, focus on what is important to you at this time, work, school, whatever. The rest will fall into place. If it is meant to be it will.

Sorry we can't be of more help.

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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