I Don't know how to go on...

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Quin1823
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/16/2009 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   

In May I delivered a stillborn son. It broke my heart in more ways than one. I guess you can say I was in denial the first month or so. Then I found out what caused my baby to pass. It sent me in a downward spiral thinking there was something wrong with me. I went to every doctor you can think of and everything came back fine. I finally went to my doctor and they put me on 20mg of Celexa and 1 Ativan a day. My anxiety is way out of control. All I think about is my breathing. I don't have the chest pains anymore or any of the other symptoms just this breathing crap. Sometimes I feel like I will live like this for the rest of my life. I have never had any anxiety issues until the baby passed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Quin


JoyArtFul
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 9/16/2009 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Quin,
I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I cannot imagine how horrible the pain of that loss was.
I cannot directly relate to your situation, but I'm pretty close to it.
Early in our marriage, I carried him to the ER several times for EKGs because he felt he was having a heart attack. Each time they said it was a panic attack. His EKGs would be only slightly abnormal - but his pulse was sometimes 200 bpm. The pain that he felt was very real - but it usually started as a smaller symptom. For example, we found that he has GERD (basically awful stomach acid). After feeling the chest pain from it, he would get so worked up that his pulse and blood pressure were through the roof, and his breathing was shallow.
It has taken a lot of time and work to bring his life back to normal, but he's doing well now.
He takes 20 mg of Celexa and up to 30 or 40 mg of Buspar a day. His Buspar is taken 5 mg at a time as needed. Beyond his medication, we have taken a lot of steps.
First, we saw a multitude of doctors to make sure he was really okay. I even got him in to see a top cardiologist by crying shamefully (we're in our 20s and healthy - that was difficult.)
While there, I asked the cardiologist to explain how to differentiate between a heart attack and regular chest pain. We did cholesterol profiles (normal), stress tests (normal) MRIs, Cat Scans, (normal, normal, etc.)
After all of the physicians' help it took a lot of practiced calming techniques. I talked him down ten or fifteen times a day (sometimes calling my Dr. for reassurance.) I'm Bi-Polar - aren't we a cute couple. ;-)
Anyways, the point is that it will probably take time and a lot of work, but it is worth it. And you're not "crazy" - even if your pain is related to anxiety, it still hurts. You do deserve support, and you do deserve for doctors to listen to you.
That said, hopefully your body is as healthy as my hubby's turned out to be.
Just hang in there and utilize any medical help available to work through this - you deserve a better quality of life.
:: Sending Hugz Your Way ::

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/16/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Quin1823

I am so sorry for your loss. 

Did you mean to post this in the Anxiety and Panic Forum..... ?

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9

It does sound like what your dealing with now is Anxiety.  Plese do feel comfortable in posting in anxiety. 

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
DX: Anxiety, Depression, Osteoarthritis, GERD, Raynaud's syndrome, Skin Cancer and  IBS

Not a mental health professional of any kind


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18754
   Posted 9/17/2009 1:56 AM (GMT -7)   
quin, so sorry for your loss. you are on the right track in seeking help. if i can be of help please do not hesitate in posting me. my e-mail is open also. my healing prayers to you. with compassion.
 
jamie.
 
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2009 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Quin,
 
I do hope you join us here or in Anxiety. I am wondering if you have been to any counseling?
 
Also how about any bereavement support groups?  There is much help available and coming here was very brave of you so do stick with HealingWell and you will find much comfort.
 
Gentle Hugs,
Kitt

 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
DX: Anxiety, Depression, Osteoarthritis, GERD, Raynaud's syndrome, Skin Cancer and  IBS

Not a mental health professional of any kind


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 9/17/2009 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   

I cannot imagine your sorrow.  Please do get some grief counseling.   I am high anxiety and chest pains and breathing irregularities are my clue that something is out of control.....me.  Hopefully your meds will help that part soon.  I am on Buspar for anxiety and it has taken away all the physical effects of anxiety.  Talk to your Dr. if you feel that the meds are not working.  Chat us up anytime, we are all here to help.  My prayers are with you.

Gem


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 9/18/2009 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Quin, truly sorry for your loss. You are going through the grieving process and everyone deals differently. I am so sorry you have had to face this tragedy. I pray you get some relief. As Kitt mentioned above, maybe you would like to post this in our anxiety forum?

Stay with us and let you know how you go- you really should try and see a therapist or counsellor etc as what you have been through is so traumatic.

Blessings,

Maz XX


 Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
 'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Seasonal Depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania,
OCD, GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.
 
 

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