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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 9/17/2009 2:36 AM (GMT -7)   
a mate of mine, who finds my place as an outlet, has had me a tad worried today. he lives with OCD. he had 5 showers almost in a row. he asked if he could have one, no probs, but then 4 more ensued. i am worried, not for me, but for him, i did not have the chance because another mate visited, this mate was perturbed at this behaviour, subsequently the first mate left. obviously he felt the indifference from my other mate. i said he lives with OCD, not to worry as i will talk with him. i want to still be compassionate, albeit i want to help also, albeit i also need to express that yes i am his mate but also to express my concerns regarding his behaviour and that he sees my home as his safe haven. my issue is that this is my home and i feel that this situation is enabling him if i do not bring up this situation here. any suggestions will be received with much thanks and compassion.
 
jamie

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 9/17/2009 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Jamiee,

Bottom Line:  Your House Your Rules.  Does your OCD friend see a Dr.?  I am sure there are meds out there to help control it.  I think it is great that he feels very comfortable with you, can be himself no matter how annoying to others and not be judged by you.  That is a true friend and It just reinforces my belief of what a great guy you are, but for his own sake and safety, he needs to get some guideance with the issue.  Where to start....that I do not know.  Seems to me OCD is anxiety related, which we all know that takes some professional help.

Maybe when he starts repetitive actions, like the shower thing, you can remind him "You just had a shower" and try to distract his thoughts. 

Gem

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40571
   Posted 9/17/2009 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that you are right about talking to him. Is this the first time that he has showed this type of behavior to you? It sounds like once he did get comfortable there that is when he let his guard down and then the jestures happened. I don't understand a lot of it, so I am probably not very good advice. But I think that you are right in confronting him and finding out if he is seeing a doctor and if he was prescribed anything. I am sure that you can do this with the utmost care as not to make him feel uncomfortable with the discussion. I guess straight forward is the answer. I hope that everything works out well.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2009 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Jamie,

I think the others have advised you well.  My motto is to "send the mail to the right address".  Talk to the person you are having a problem with and be honest yet not aggressive.  I know you will handle this problem well.

Hugs

Kitt


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 9/17/2009 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
yes great info, i was thinking along these lines myself. thx all jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40571
   Posted 9/19/2009 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie

Have you talked to your friend yet? Just curious...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/19/2009 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Jamiee, My son has OCD. He lives with me. His habits and rituals can be overwhelming. He has a problem with showering too. He can never get clean enough. He has clogged the shower so many times I have had to have the plumber to clear the pipes at least 8 times. I understand the situation. I know you want to be supportive of your friend but this is a disorder that needs professional help.  I know there are meds that work to help with the problem. But I think it is necessary to have the counseling as well as the meds.  My son cannot take the meds as he has epilepsy and they would interfere with his seizure meds. He has been to counseling, and it helped some but the problem is he didn't like the therapist so it didn't help as much. You, as a friend, and me as a mother cannot cure these people of this disorder.  The best suggestion I can give you is for your friend to try to find a counselor who specializes in treating OCD. There are also many books available that explain exactly what OCD is and does offer help.  The problem is that as time goes by the condition can get worse and sometimes takes over one's life performing their rituals. It does build up slowly. I didn't realize my son was OCD but I now can pinpoint it to childhood when he always had to take off his shoes at the door and carry them. Over the years different rituals started occuring.  I think the best thing to try is talking to your friend. He may very well be aware that he has OCD. Then you may be able to suggest books he can read. I don't know what kind of reading materials you have available but maybe there is something in the library. Don't know if you are able to order from Amazon.com but I got several books that were very helpful. Also, you may be able to find a website if you just type in OCD or Obessive Compulsive Disorder. Sorry to be so wordy, I am hoping my experience may give you some guidance. Best of luck to you and your friend.

Hugs,

Aurora


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 9/19/2009 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
thx aurora, very informative, and yes he is aware of his condition, also has a dx of bi-polar disorder. he is on medication, although i will recommend him seeing an ocd specialist. i will do my research, and thx for sharing your and your son's condition/habits with ocd. with compassion and thx, jamie
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